Hyper Little Thoughts

Actually it wasn't that bad, this time. No big arguments, no yelling or screaming, just random disfuncionality.

( Family )

( Prezzies )

More or less, my holiday was uneventful, but exhausting. It seems that the longer I live in Chicago, the more anxious I get when I'm away for an extended period of time. But again - that could be just that I don't like the QC's. *shrugs*


And also, I miss Matt.

But of course, you knew that.

Just got done at the dentist - ow - and finished up all my dishes. Now all that's left is to throw my dirty laundry into the car, pick up my paycheck on my way out of the city, and I'm off for the Holiday. Posting access is probably limited, so I most likely won't be LJing until I get back next week. I should be back Tues or Wed, but possibly later.

So I bid you Happy Holidays all the way around.

And also?

Adieu.

I spent about 3 hours shopping for people. I only got two gifts. So I still have about 6 to buy. Which means I'll have to finish my shopping tomorrow. Translation: I'll have to spend the day before Xmas at Southpark Mall and...possibly...*cries* Wal-Mart.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

This doesn't often happen to me.

Today, I was cleaning my apartment and getting some stuff put away (clothes, mostly, but some keepsakes I've been meaning to clear out). As I was cleaning, I was dancing and jamming to music - Some remixes I burned, and then Aqua, which I only listen to when I'm in a really good mood - and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. In one hand, a rag, in another hand, Pledge. And on my face, one of the biggest smiles of all time. And, rather than avoid looking at myself like I usually do, I looked at myself. Like, really looked. Bandana on my head, yellow rubber gloves, baggy jeans, and an old ratty t-shirt.

And I realized - I look good. Not just good, beautiful. I'm not fat, or ugly, or gross to look at. I am me. And, more importantly, I like me. I think it was the smile that I didn't really realize I had. That is, I felt it before I noticed it. That was a few hours ago, and still I feel amazing. I can't really explain or describe it, other than to say that I feel encredibly free right now, and like so much crap and BS has just evaporated.

Of course, now the trick is to remember this for when the crap starts piling up again. Because it will - it always does. If I start going all boo-hooey, someone cyber-slap me and point me to this post, will you?

I'm nervous as hell and I don't feel well at all.

I have this sinking feeling that he won't call, and that I screwed it up.

And hello, insecurities. There you are! Been wondering where you had gotten to.

He called!

*whew*

Wrote this short little number for the Excessant Yule Project, so many of you have probably seen it already.

Title: Silver Bells
Author: chocgood84
Rating: PG for schmoop
Disclaimer: Character's aren't mine, nor is the song this fic is based on. I'm just playing, don't sue.

( Silver Bells )

Okay, all. It is *officially* Christmas, now that I'm watching Charlie Brown's Christmas. *whee*.

Parties last night was a huge success. Met a bunch of really cool people at Jarred's party. he's hosting a new year's party that I might attend.

Arben's party was a blast. I definetely had too much to drink, but we all had such a good time. We played Scene It, which my team won, and talked and laughed.

Just got a phone call from Greg, my boss. He's reissuing my paycheck, so I'm going now to get it! *whoot* And tonight me and Matt are going to a movie and then the bar.

Despite my visit to the dentist this morning (which wasn't that bad, but still), this is a good day.

*happy sigh*

Matt just left:)

He came over last night after we left the bar, and we put in Moulin Rouge because we'd been trying to remember some of the words. We both wound up passing out half way through the movie. Woke up this morning shivering (cover hog!) but smiling. Nothing happened; we're just friends. But it makes me happy, because now I've got this really cool new friend to do that kind of stuff with.

And, I have the day off of work. So plans for today include:

Finishing up Silver Bells for Lazilu (I'm late, I know, but RL=kerazy)
Going gift shopping for the parties tonight.
Going to Jarred's party from about 6 -8
Meeting Nando at Gentry after that
Going to Arben's party at 9

Eventually I'm going to have to clean up the joint.

And tomorrow me and Matt are going to see Brokeback Mountain. *whoot*