synapticjava | Recent Entries

Yeah, I'm still alive. Really, I did not, in fact, die. Sorry I've been out of contact for so long, again. I just needed a break from everyone and everything for a little bit. But I'm back now. For real.

Updates on life, etc:

( Trip home )

( Work & Job search )

( Chicago Pride )

So, my rattled nerves have won out. My brain is going crazy (um. something like that.). I cannot possibly stand another day of the "THWACK THWACK THWACK" from the construction next door, along with the horns and the BS. I love this city, but right now, just. no.

So I'm headed back to the QC's for a few days of R&R. My mom's on call, and Brian is in Miami, Ashley and Dad are both working all week. So I'll have the house, the couch, the TV, and the pool all to myself.

Anyway, I'm outta here. I'll post when I'm back.

Just a post to let everyone know that yes, I am okay. I look at like this: it happens. It's a life lesson. I can't dwell on it.

That's not to say that I'm all peaches and puppies.

I'm just not...fine right now. I'm supposed to go home tomorrow, and it would be good for me to get out of the city for a few days and away from it all. But, I don't think I'm going. I really can't face my family right now. I think I'll just hide out here in my apartment for my vacation. Do some reading, maybe some writing. Send out my resume to a few people. Who knows.

Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Travelin Soldier

Well not really that tragic if you're not me.

Met a guy last night, and I was stupid enough to bring him back here.

Stole $200, carton of smokes, and my laptop.

So not only am I out about $3,000; I also am so embarassed I just want to sit and cry.

I'm walking out the door now to go graduate.

Is this a dream?

I had my last final yesterday! It's really really over! Now all that's left is the ceremony tomorrow (*whoot*).

I celebrated by buying two new books: Exile in Guyville - a Sedaris-like fun one, and Alice Walker's newest book. Can't wait to crack them open and start reading. I missed reading!

Went to see The Omen.

I also stopped by work, where Luther poured me about five glasses of our new vintage wine. Fun.

Then I came home at 8 and fell asleep, and did not get up until 8:30 this morning. I slept 12.5 hours straight.

Current Music: Temperance - Forever Young (Queer as Folk Remix)

Exactly 1.5 Hours and I'll be finished with school.

It's showtime, people~!

(ceremony's not till sunday, but this is my final final)

I just finished cleaning the carpet in my living room. By hand. Literally. With carpet cleaner, a bowl of water, and a scrubber brush.

About 200 square feet of carpeting.

First of all, *gag*. Now I feel like a dirty bird looking at all the gross dirt and stuff in the bowl and on the brush that came out of the carpet.

Second of all, *guh*. If you haven't done this before...DON'T. From now on, I'm renting one of those carpet steamers.

On the other hand, though, it looks much nicer, and I feel like I've actually accomplished something today. (nevermind that there are still dishes in the sink, the refrigerator has not been cleaned out, the bathroom has yet to be touched, I haven't dusted, and there's the pesky little problem of cleaning out my closets *ack*)

Also - no wonder I was sweating so much. I just checked the temp, and it's like 85 outside and I don't have the air on.

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: Queen - I want to break free

Thanks to everyone that emailed/called/etc about my post last night. I appreciate it. There's an explanation beneath the cut, because I have no idea how long this might take to explain. And it's also a lot of pointless, stupid, gay drama.

( Why I was so upset last night. )
The thing is; I'm not even so much angry as just hurt. The last couple of weeks kind of felt like me and him were getting back to normal, and then I found out he was just setting me up for this. That's royally uncool.

Anyway, that's the long short of it. Thanks for the well wishes, though.

I need new friends.

Preferably accomanied by a new job.

Friends that won't lie, cheat, steal, and stab me in the back.

This really sucks.

I'm so hurt right now, I can't even think straight about the situation.

So, I finished my paper an hour ago (came in at just barely 5 pages, plus references), even though I made up all of the information. Not worried about it, my professors are raging incompetants. This afternoon I filled out "Official Dissatisfaction/Complaint of Professor Conduct" for both of them. I also requested a meeting with the department head about them. Even though there's no way I can fail their class, I want the university to know what awful conduct they've had with this class, and how inexcusable their behavior is.

If anything, it'll make me feel better.

A little.

So now I have to go turn in the paper and give a brief presentation on it.

And then - I'm going to the bar and drinking my exhaustion away.

God I should sleep well tonight.

One final left!

Current Music: Carrie Underwood - Don't Forget to Remember Me

*listens to the radio*

*hears this song*

*snaps, crackles, sobs*

Yup.

I'm crackers.

Current Music: Carrie Underwood - Don't Forget to Remember Me

My final short story for Creative Writing: Warning, it sucks.

( Unsuspecting )

Tags:

written word:creative writing

I'm at the library, at one of the eight-person tables. Laptop in front of me, Develpment book on the left, Health Psych book on the right, outlines above that, backpack at the far end, pens and papers and binders scattered everywhere in between, two packs of cigarettes, two empty king-size reese's wrappers, a half-eaten bag of cheez-its, unopened Twix, two empty Grande cappicuinos and one full, an empty coke bottle, and an empty can of redbull.

Yes. It is finals.

And also, I'm almost sure that I've lost my mind somewhere between the first coffee and the second. I'm starting to see dead psychologists everywhere. Freud, is that you?

And did you know? Addolescents learn and model behavior after their peers as well as their parents? I didn't know this. This is news, why didn't I know this? Someone's fired.

A quote, from my development book, "So it seems that children's earliest preferences for gender-typed toys and activities may well result from their parents' (particularly fathers') successful attempts to reinforce these interestes."

Fucking DUH!?

I learned that in Psych 101. Not to mention, I posess, you know, common sense.

Someone shoot me. Now, please.

I just realized that almost all of my entry subjects are song lyrics. Hmph.

Got my apartment about 90% finished today. And all my laundry's done. And I actually cooked dinner tonight. Yum. Minute steak, farm beans, and sauteed mushrooms. Mmm.

And now I'm sitting down with Dixie Chicks playin on the stereo, a steaming pot of French Vanilla Dark Roast on the clean kitchen counter, and getting ready to pour over my Social & Emotional Development book. My goal for tonight is to finish studying for that completely, and get a leg up on my second short story. Tomorrow night's projects will be studying for Stress Management (really will only take an hour at most - it's open book/note), edit & finish my short story, compile my portfolio to turn in on Monday or Tuesday. I'll be in research mode Monday and Tuesday night for my presentation/paper, which are due on Wednesday night. Monday I have my first final, and work that night; Tuesday I have my second final, and work that night; Wednesday is my presentation; Thursday I have no exams but I do have work, and Friday I have one exam and no work...and then I'm done. No work Saturday, and the ceremony is on Sunday.

Wow.

Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice

ahem.

#1) I have officially begun Final Exam Preperation Mode. Essentially this means there are four ashtrays scattered around my apartment overfilling with butts. And also that I have decided to buy stock in Caribou Coffee, and Red Bull.

#2) I am currently addicted to the Dixie Chicks. how did I never hear them and love them before? I don't know.

#3) I have also completed Phase I of Operation Pre-Parent Clense. I just spent three hours cleaning my kitchen. Now, for anyone who has seen my kitchen, you know that three hours is much too much time for such a tiny space. But trust me, it was needed. *gag* I am a bachelor. Tomorrow, I move to Phase II: The Bathroom. And I spend more time in there than in the kitchen. I'm askeered. Later this week, I'll be tackling Phases III, IV, V, and VI: Closets, Carpet, Living Room, and Windows/Mirrors.

#4) I have met someone new. Well, actually two someones new. One is Charlie, who is the sweetest guy ever. Just moved here from Boston; Architect; completed 3 degrees at Vanderbuilt. The other is Jeff. Lived in Chicago forever; owns his own chemical company and services the City of Chicago. Upcoming (as in, when I get back from my vacation) dates with both. More on them as situations develop. You can all say "whoot" if you want. I know I did.

#5) I now have only 8 days left until my graduation ceremony. And as such, I have written the following composition:

( What I been lerned in kollege )

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Long Time Gone

Tags:

kollege

Left my headlights on this morning, and I found out this afternoon my car has this nice little feature that if there is an electrical problem - such as, oh say, the battery being dead - with the car, when you try to manually unlock the car instead of using the remote, an electrical switch is thrown that won't let you get into it. What asshole thought that up?

So I had to spend $100 to get a locksmith unlock it, then call everyone I know in the city who has a car (that's a total of four people) to pick me up, drive me to get some jumper cables, and come back and jumpstart my car.

It all worked out, I got it jumped, but you wouldn't imagine how close I was to just SNAPPing. And this was the highlight of my day.

What did I do to piss God off so much that she is so encredibly mad at me?

And, I'm feeling just a teeny bit lonely.

Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Traveling Soldier

I'll cut this because it's a little long:

( Charlie's at 3am )

Birthday Song
Another year, another day,
Sunrise, sunset, these are times
To be left behind.

We grow old before we are young,
Like a seedling left to wilt,
Rotten from the start.

Like waves receding, memories
Fade, dim, and wash away to
Unknown points of hope.

Each passing minute reminds us
Of each moment before it;
Like crystals smashing.

We celebrate the passage of
Time with smiles and laughter, though
We dread tomorrow.

So we live in yesterday while
Knowing it will cry tears of
Tomorrow’s daybreak.

Happy birthday to us all.

Tags:

Hyper Little Thoughts

Sit back, NYC

Blowing outta here.

post

Celebration ends in tragedy

Here I go

I'm free! Really really free!

1.5 hours, people

dies of exhaustion

Re: Last night's post

fuck this

Later, dudes.

turn it up

Unsuspecting

shakes

flails

Too late to make it right...probably wouldn't if I could.

Your what hurts?

Bad day. Bad. bad. day.

Final Poem: Charlie's at 3am

Backlogged Creative Writing: Birthday Song

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