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Thanks to everyone that emailed/called/etc about my post last night. I appreciate it. There's an explanation beneath the cut, because I have no idea how long this might take to explain. And it's also a lot of pointless, stupid, gay drama.
First things first, I've obviously been overemotional/lonely/crazy lately dealing with everything with Graduation, etc. That being said, it's fairly like-me that I blew everything way out of proportion. That's not to say that I don't have a right to be mad, because I do.
Alright, there's the disclaimer. Now, as you may or may not know, me and Fernando have been skating on thin ice around each other later. Any little thing can set the other person off, then we have a fight, blow up, don't speak for a few days, and we're fine again. You also might (or not) recall that on my birthday, he wound up going home with a guy that I was interested in, and when I said something to him about it, he said the guy wasn't interested in me. I've since learned that the guy was interested, but didn't want to intercept my b-day celebration. Sidebar: Fernando just broke up with his long distance boyfriend this past weekend.
Cue Michael (Caliboy), who I've crushed on for a few months now, and can't quite seem to shake it. Everyone knows I like him, even Mikey. (He's not looking for anything serious, we talked about it; so we're just friends.) But, it's a pretty well-known rule that when one of us (me and Nando) is interested in someone, the other one is not supposed to go after them. A couple of weeks ago, I find out from Arben that Mikey and Nando screwed around. Two days later, Phillip tells me the same thing. The next week when I bartend, Mikey comes in and we're hanging out or whatever while I bartend. Then Nando comes in, drunk, and continues to drink (not really - I kept giving him flavored water; he thought it was bacardi), and is outright flirting with Mikey. Trying to grab his crotch and whatever, and Mikey keeps slapping his hand away and yelling at him to stop. Finally, Nando got bored with it, and went to bother someone else. I wound up saying to Mikey that "it's okay, I know you guys slept together," to which Mikey got really serious and sober and says: "I would never sleep with that, he kinda disgusts me." I kind of shrugged it off or whatever, then last night while I was out, Mikey came up to me and he goes "I found out what's going on - Fernando's playing a joke on you, telling everyone that him and I slept together to make you mad."
So I said something to Arben, who confessed it was a joke he was in on, but Phillip didn't know it was a joke.
So the reason I'm mad is that I fail to see the humor - even for everyone else that isn't me. Is it really that funny to make me feel like shit? Is it so funny that it's worth throwing away our friendship? Because that's pretty much what happened: I don't trust him anymore. I thought I left all this high school crap behind me at Barat. I could get even, but in the end, it would only make me feel worse, so I'm just going to drop it. I need the job too bad to quit, but from now on, we're just coworkers. And when he asks why things are wierd between us, I'm just going to calmly and rationally say to him that I don't really enjoy being the butt of jokes, and that I'm not really up for being kicked around anymore.
The thing is; I'm not even so much angry as just hurt. The last couple of weeks kind of felt like me and him were getting back to normal, and then I found out he was just setting me up for this. That's royally uncool.
Anyway, that's the long short of it. Thanks for the well wishes, though.
First things first, I've obviously been overemotional/lonely/crazy lately dealing with everything with Graduation, etc. That being said, it's fairly like-me that I blew everything way out of proportion. That's not to say that I don't have a right to be mad, because I do.
Alright, there's the disclaimer. Now, as you may or may not know, me and Fernando have been skating on thin ice around each other later. Any little thing can set the other person off, then we have a fight, blow up, don't speak for a few days, and we're fine again. You also might (or not) recall that on my birthday, he wound up going home with a guy that I was interested in, and when I said something to him about it, he said the guy wasn't interested in me. I've since learned that the guy was interested, but didn't want to intercept my b-day celebration. Sidebar: Fernando just broke up with his long distance boyfriend this past weekend.
Cue Michael (Caliboy), who I've crushed on for a few months now, and can't quite seem to shake it. Everyone knows I like him, even Mikey. (He's not looking for anything serious, we talked about it; so we're just friends.) But, it's a pretty well-known rule that when one of us (me and Nando) is interested in someone, the other one is not supposed to go after them. A couple of weeks ago, I find out from Arben that Mikey and Nando screwed around. Two days later, Phillip tells me the same thing. The next week when I bartend, Mikey comes in and we're hanging out or whatever while I bartend. Then Nando comes in, drunk, and continues to drink (not really - I kept giving him flavored water; he thought it was bacardi), and is outright flirting with Mikey. Trying to grab his crotch and whatever, and Mikey keeps slapping his hand away and yelling at him to stop. Finally, Nando got bored with it, and went to bother someone else. I wound up saying to Mikey that "it's okay, I know you guys slept together," to which Mikey got really serious and sober and says: "I would never sleep with that, he kinda disgusts me." I kind of shrugged it off or whatever, then last night while I was out, Mikey came up to me and he goes "I found out what's going on - Fernando's playing a joke on you, telling everyone that him and I slept together to make you mad."
So I said something to Arben, who confessed it was a joke he was in on, but Phillip didn't know it was a joke.
So the reason I'm mad is that I fail to see the humor - even for everyone else that isn't me. Is it really that funny to make me feel like shit? Is it so funny that it's worth throwing away our friendship? Because that's pretty much what happened: I don't trust him anymore. I thought I left all this high school crap behind me at Barat. I could get even, but in the end, it would only make me feel worse, so I'm just going to drop it. I need the job too bad to quit, but from now on, we're just coworkers. And when he asks why things are wierd between us, I'm just going to calmly and rationally say to him that I don't really enjoy being the butt of jokes, and that I'm not really up for being kicked around anymore.
The thing is; I'm not even so much angry as just hurt. The last couple of weeks kind of felt like me and him were getting back to normal, and then I found out he was just setting me up for this. That's royally uncool.
Anyway, that's the long short of it. Thanks for the well wishes, though.
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From:
no subject
How does anyone think that's funny? It's not. Affairs and matters of the heart NEVER get funny. Never. Having been the butt of a few jokes on that matter myself, I can tell you that no, they're not funny, and anyone that thinks they are can go fuck themselves because they're idiots.
You shouldn't had to have dealt with that hun. I'm so so sorry. *hugs*
~Nebula
From:
no subject
I think you have to be the better man, here. Be calm, cool and logical and don't let on how very hurt you are. It gives too much ammunition to hurt you again if it's perceived as a fun time to be had by some mean people.
Maybe it was just a stupid prank and a bad miscalculation by some people who really do care about you. I'll bet there are some guilty consciences all around at the moment, and quite right too. Mikey sounds sweet, and Phillip didn't deliberately screw you over. It's not all bad.
*hugs*
From:
no subject
*hugs* I'm sorry you're having to deal with it, especially with all the other stress. Of course it all happens at the same time. That's how life is sometimes.
When is graduation? Is there a day by day countdown?
From:
no subject
First of all, I HATE jokes made at the cost of people in general, but at the cost of friends is the meanest thing one can do. I'm very sorry it happened to you and I know I'd end any not work related contact with someone who did it to me. Recently I broke up with a friend of 16 years only because she talked down another friend, someone who's not only very important to me, but now dead, too. Believe me, in the end it felt very liberating and I don't regret it. People who are able to do something like that in the first place, will do it again.
*hug*
From:
no subject
Marie
From:
no subject
From:
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