Hyper Little Thoughts

Yes, I'm blitzed. But still coherant. I'm not *that* bad - only three cocktails...hah.

1st of all. Matt wound up not making it. So, yet again I spent a new year's eve with no one. But, on the flip side, I spent it when my friends, which is the best thing in the world, next to a partner. I love my friends so much.

2nd of all. I worked 13.5 hours today @ Gentry. My feet hurt so bad that not even a scalding hot foot massage could help. And I don't even want to look at stairs for a few days.

3rdly. We all went to Charlies after we closed the bar, where I proceeded to get innebriated, but I saw a whole bunch of people I know, which is always fun. And all kinds of guys were checking me out. One guy I thought was really hot came up, winked at me, and grabbed my ass. *happy sigh*

4th. I really really really miss Matt. I want him to come home. Now.

And finally - I fucking made bank tonight. And no matter how bitchy or uppity this sounds - when we got to Charlie's and there was a line around the fucking block, and they let me go in ahead of everyone without paying the $20 cover charge - that was freaking grand. I could *definetely* get used to that.

But now it's 5:30 am and I am so exhausted I can't stand it, so I'm turning in. I really do hope, though, that everyone had a spectacular night and that we all have the best fucking year in the world. Because I know my friends (all of you, included!) all deserve it. And I know that with everything that's happened in the last year, only good things can come.

*ahem*

I am most definetely not fucked up at all.

( Cut for Drunken Foolishness )

Also. Matt comes back tomorrow! *squee*

Isn't it amazing how shopping can make you feel so much better?

Yes. I am that gay.

But now I have several different outfit options for tomorrow. I'm going to check Target later this afternoon for different pants. The ones I got bunch in the crotch - which, not that big of a deal, but it still looks odd - and aren't exactly white. Do you know how hard it is to find white pants in December? What I really want are tight tight white jeans. *glares at clothing stores* Don't they know that whole White after Labor Day thing is so over? I mean, really.

And for those of you wondering - there shall be pictures. I'm taking my camera tomorrow so everyone can take pictures, so I should have tons of me and the guys, and possibly Matthew:)

And now, for some lunch. That chocolate covered espresso bean I ate an hour ago just didn't do the trick. Nor did the white chocolate mocha I drank. Blerk.

You know. I think this whole positive outlook/attitude thing can really work for me.

I didn't post about it, but I was starting to be slightly alarmed because I don't work for another couple of weeks (catering's at a stand still for the next month or so), and I wasn't sure if I was going to have enough money to pay all my bills and stuff this month, let alone next month.

Instead of freaking out about it, I had faith that it would work itself out.

And it did. I got this quarter's loan money deposited today, which gives me some give-room until I can find another job or until business picks up.

Who knew?

I realize, of course, that I didn't actually post this - it was just neuroticism in my head - earlier.

I was incredibly worried about my beloved Matthew:) I hadn't heard from him since Christmas Eve when he sent out a mass Txt letting us all know that he was in White Trash Hell. So yeah, I've been worried and a teensy bit (okay, a lot) crazy about what was going on, and why I hadn't heard from him, and did something terrible happen?

He txted me tonight to let me know that no, he is not dead, but he forgot his phone charger here in Chicago and his phone died right after sending out that txt on Xmas eve. And that he will be back on Saturday (!? *cries*) and can't wait to see me and hang out.

In short - I miss him something terrible, and can't wait until Saturday.

Also, I've had about 5 drinks, about half of my usual, and I'm wasted. Like, GONE, wasted. And you know what? It feels perty good.

And. Matt comes home in four days. FOUR DAYS! *whoot*

Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 16/ ?
Author: chocgood84
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta, kittypoker1.
Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.

( Chapter 16 )

I'm back.

And again, Need some time to chill out. Which means - Happy Hour(s) is coming up for me. Nando's already got my seat saved.

You know - the best part of going to visit my family is returning home. *nods*

At least i'm not totally shellshocked this time.

Real update later.

I'm very anxious about going home tomorrow - er, today.

I just having this sinking, disgusting feeling that something bad is going to happen.

Oh, look at me - now I'm Miss Cleo.

I've created a Matt tag so if you see it you can avoid it if you don't want to read.

( And I'll put the incredibly schmoopy crap behind cuts like this. )

okay, so it's 9:30. for a bartender/bar attender/caiterwaiter/gay man, that's early.

we talked last night - heart to heart. he's still dealing with ex issues, and though he feels about me the way i feel about him, he (wisely) doesn't want to rush into something that could hurt either one of us. so for now, we will be friends. and if something happens, it happens. and if it doesn't, it doesn't. at least we both know where we stand.

and i reiterate this: no matter what, i've got this really cool person in my life now, and i'm better off for it.

and now to hop back into bed - he's squeezing my pillow looking for me. lol.