synapticjava | I think I'm going to be sick:

I was headed to bed, and decided I'd check the news really quick. That's when I came across this, and it's made me sick. I really hope it's a joke. A horrid, disgustingly innapropriate joke.

The link: http://www.purdueexponent.org/interface/bebop/showstory.php?date=2005/04/22§ion=letters&storyid=onlinegordondoc

Publication Date: 04-22-2005
Student offers modest proposal
Homosexuality is a contagious malady which adversely affects our economy and endangers Americans souls.

The homosexual population in the United States drains our economy. The government requires companies to provide insurance for domestic partners and their children which forces prices to rise, which harms every American consumer.

Homosexuality also affects the souls of the ten percent of Americans who have fallen victim to the plague. The Bible clearly states that any man who lays with another man should be put to death and end up in Hell.

I have objectively examined the homosexual plague and have created a modest proposal to eradicate the epidemic.

Extraordinary members of police agencies will be employed to gather homosexuals for redistribution in "degayification" camps. These camps will provide the homosexuals with the proper tools to alleviate their symptoms.

All infected will attend rigorous religious therapy which programs their minds away from the "gay temptation." The program will also treat the physical arousal from the disease by wearing out the body in fields, performing hard labor.

I am not unrealistic with my goals and realize this treatment may not be enough for some. The remaining contaminated will be subjected to therapy where the infected males will be forced to perform involuntary intercourse on the infected females.

The camp is not a permanent settlement and those who still do not respond to treatment will be castrated.

My solution is not without reward. First, the homosexuals will save their souls from eternal damnation.

Secondly, land owners will receive compensation for land used by the degayification camps. This means the materials are produced cheaper and prices will be cheaper.

It does not benefit me. I offer it as away to solve the homosexual problem and invite others to provide better plans.

Jennifer R. Gordon
Sophomore, School of Agriculture

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How... appropriate; it's a sophomoric suggestion from a sophomore.

Yeah, I thought it was kind of interesting, myself.

Have you read Swift's "A Modest Proposal"? It suggests dealing with the overpopulation problem in Great Britain by eating Irish babies.

I'm pretty sure this is satire.

I actually haven't. But now I feel better.

Danke.

i LOVED a modest propsal. i thought it was possibly the most amusing thing ever, but i think THIS person is just being an ass about it. cause at least swift made an HONEST proposal at the end.

im not sure if i should be offended by this, amused, or just laughing at moronic people who think theyre clever.

also, i should mention that i want to kill people who are trying to make their writing sound better and end up being redundant and sounding even stupider: "forced to perform involuntary" erm. forced WOULD imply that something is involuntary, would it not? or at the VERY elast in THIS context. *mutters and kicks the author in the teeth*

Oh god, I hope that's not serious!

Further investegation and I don't think so anymore. *cringe*

Still in poor taste, though.

Most satire is in poor taste. (Not that this is blindingly well-written or in the same league as Swift or anything. I'm just sayin'.)

*speechlessly horrified*

I'm feeling a little ill myself. I really do hope it's satire. Perhaps "degayification" hints at that. Because I really hope a serious person would not make up a word like that.

We had a slightly similar piece in our school paper two years ago. Only it was about the women's rights movement being a sin because the Bible says women should submit to their husbands. But it wasn't a joke.

People suck.

I'm almost sure now that this is satyre. But still *cringe*.

Gads. That's disgusting even if it is a joke. Not fucking funny at all. Nazi moron. Ask at

gsa_lj and see if anyone else has heard about it. That's just...awful. Gack.

Actually, it is funny--but it's black, black humor. What she's doing is taking the repulsive idea that gayness is a learned behavior from which people can be "saved" and that sexuality can be "repaired"--and taking it to its horrifying extreme. It's just like what Swift did with anti-Irish and anti-reform sentiment in the original "A Modest Proposal." She's caricaturing this idea by exposing the ludicrousness--and horror--that would result if the reasoning behind it were carried out to their logical conclusion. I think it's pretty courageous, actually. She's basically comparing institutionalized homophobia to the Nazis; I'm pretty sure she's on your side.

Still there are too many people out there that would think that's a good idea.

Do you really think so? Outside Fred Phelps, I don't think anyone's quite that crazy. I figure this piece of satire targets the "normal" homophobes--people who figure, "Yeah, sure--gayness ain't 'natural' so it kin probably be changed." But who aren't violent by nature or full of actual hate. There is a difference between someone who's misinformed or even willfully ignorant--and a hatemonger like Fred Phelps.

In the area I live in there are still people who think the Holocaust was a hoax and that we should still have separate water fountains for the different races. Yeah, I can see someone thinking this was a good idea.

I don't think they're the ones targeted, though. It's the relatively moderate people who need to be shown the ludicrousness of their convictions. Leave the abject and ruinous morons to destroy themselves, I say.

Also, to clarify: "It's funny, but it's not 'ha-ha' funny." Lest you thought I was chuckling to myself over the idea of de-gayification concentration camps.

That's disgusting even if it is a joke.

I think it is a joke, and still - not funny.

I wanna believe this is a satire (and it prob is given the allusion to Swift), and yet, I live in the South and our uni newspaper is constantly full of utter shite like this about gay people and racial minorities and women. In fact, last week, our paper ran an ad about how diversity is killing America and white people should unite to preserve our cultural identity. *shudders*

How someone can mention God and also government sponsored rape in the same document is insane.

*cringe*

Now my novel really wants to be written. *sigh*

I recognized it as at least stemming from "A Modest Proposal" last night, but I couldn't think of the name or any of the details to fill in the gaps, so I didn't comment. Go look up the origional Bradly. It's not plesant either, but it's been around for a while.

Jeeeze, am I the only one that hasn't heard of that thing?

Thanks.

I think I'm going to be sick:

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