I think I'm going to be sick:

[synapticjava]

I was headed to bed, and decided I'd check the news really quick. That's when I came across this, and it's made me sick. I really hope it's a joke. A horrid, disgustingly innapropriate joke.

The link: http://www.purdueexponent.org/interface/bebop/showstory.php?date=2005/04/22§ion=letters&storyid=onlinegordondoc


Publication Date: 04-22-2005
Student offers modest proposal
Homosexuality is a contagious malady which adversely affects our economy and endangers Americans souls.

The homosexual population in the United States drains our economy. The government requires companies to provide insurance for domestic partners and their children which forces prices to rise, which harms every American consumer.

Homosexuality also affects the souls of the ten percent of Americans who have fallen victim to the plague. The Bible clearly states that any man who lays with another man should be put to death and end up in Hell.

I have objectively examined the homosexual plague and have created a modest proposal to eradicate the epidemic.

Extraordinary members of police agencies will be employed to gather homosexuals for redistribution in "degayification" camps. These camps will provide the homosexuals with the proper tools to alleviate their symptoms.

All infected will attend rigorous religious therapy which programs their minds away from the "gay temptation." The program will also treat the physical arousal from the disease by wearing out the body in fields, performing hard labor.

I am not unrealistic with my goals and realize this treatment may not be enough for some. The remaining contaminated will be subjected to therapy where the infected males will be forced to perform involuntary intercourse on the infected females.

The camp is not a permanent settlement and those who still do not respond to treatment will be castrated.

My solution is not without reward. First, the homosexuals will save their souls from eternal damnation.

Secondly, land owners will receive compensation for land used by the degayification camps. This means the materials are produced cheaper and prices will be cheaper.

It does not benefit me. I offer it as away to solve the homosexual problem and invite others to provide better plans.

Jennifer R. Gordon
Sophomore, School of Agriculture

Comments

[caviling]

Actually, it is funny--but it's black, black humor. What she's doing is taking the repulsive idea that gayness is a learned behavior from which people can be "saved" and that sexuality can be "repaired"--and taking it to its horrifying extreme. It's just like what Swift did with anti-Irish and anti-reform sentiment in the original "A Modest Proposal." She's caricaturing this idea by exposing the ludicrousness--and horror--that would result if the reasoning behind it were carried out to their logical conclusion. I think it's pretty courageous, actually. She's basically comparing institutionalized homophobia to the Nazis; I'm pretty sure she's on your side.

[amejisuto.livejournal.com]

Still there are too many people out there that would think that's a good idea.

[caviling]

Do you really think so? Outside Fred Phelps, I don't think anyone's quite that crazy. I figure this piece of satire targets the "normal" homophobes--people who figure, "Yeah, sure--gayness ain't 'natural' so it kin probably be changed." But who aren't violent by nature or full of actual hate. There is a difference between someone who's misinformed or even willfully ignorant--and a hatemonger like Fred Phelps.

[amejisuto.livejournal.com]

In the area I live in there are still people who think the Holocaust was a hoax and that we should still have separate water fountains for the different races. Yeah, I can see someone thinking this was a good idea.

[caviling]

I don't think they're the ones targeted, though. It's the relatively moderate people who need to be shown the ludicrousness of their convictions. Leave the abject and ruinous morons to destroy themselves, I say.

Also, to clarify: "It's funny, but it's not 'ha-ha' funny." Lest you thought I was chuckling to myself over the idea of de-gayification concentration camps.