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I was headed to bed, and decided I'd check the news really quick. That's when I came across this, and it's made me sick. I really hope it's a joke. A horrid, disgustingly innapropriate joke.
The link: http://www.purdueexponent.org/interface/bebop/showstory.php?date=2005/04/22§ion=letters&storyid=onlinegordondoc
Publication Date: 04-22-2005
Student offers modest proposal
Homosexuality is a contagious malady which adversely affects our economy and endangers Americans souls.
The homosexual population in the United States drains our economy. The government requires companies to provide insurance for domestic partners and their children which forces prices to rise, which harms every American consumer.
Homosexuality also affects the souls of the ten percent of Americans who have fallen victim to the plague. The Bible clearly states that any man who lays with another man should be put to death and end up in Hell.
I have objectively examined the homosexual plague and have created a modest proposal to eradicate the epidemic.
Extraordinary members of police agencies will be employed to gather homosexuals for redistribution in "degayification" camps. These camps will provide the homosexuals with the proper tools to alleviate their symptoms.
All infected will attend rigorous religious therapy which programs their minds away from the "gay temptation." The program will also treat the physical arousal from the disease by wearing out the body in fields, performing hard labor.
I am not unrealistic with my goals and realize this treatment may not be enough for some. The remaining contaminated will be subjected to therapy where the infected males will be forced to perform involuntary intercourse on the infected females.
The camp is not a permanent settlement and those who still do not respond to treatment will be castrated.
My solution is not without reward. First, the homosexuals will save their souls from eternal damnation.
Secondly, land owners will receive compensation for land used by the degayification camps. This means the materials are produced cheaper and prices will be cheaper.
It does not benefit me. I offer it as away to solve the homosexual problem and invite others to provide better plans.
Jennifer R. Gordon
Sophomore, School of Agriculture
The link: http://www.purdueexponent.org/interface/bebop/showstory.php?date=2005/04/22§ion=letters&storyid=onlinegordondoc
Publication Date: 04-22-2005
Student offers modest proposal
Homosexuality is a contagious malady which adversely affects our economy and endangers Americans souls.
The homosexual population in the United States drains our economy. The government requires companies to provide insurance for domestic partners and their children which forces prices to rise, which harms every American consumer.
Homosexuality also affects the souls of the ten percent of Americans who have fallen victim to the plague. The Bible clearly states that any man who lays with another man should be put to death and end up in Hell.
I have objectively examined the homosexual plague and have created a modest proposal to eradicate the epidemic.
Extraordinary members of police agencies will be employed to gather homosexuals for redistribution in "degayification" camps. These camps will provide the homosexuals with the proper tools to alleviate their symptoms.
All infected will attend rigorous religious therapy which programs their minds away from the "gay temptation." The program will also treat the physical arousal from the disease by wearing out the body in fields, performing hard labor.
I am not unrealistic with my goals and realize this treatment may not be enough for some. The remaining contaminated will be subjected to therapy where the infected males will be forced to perform involuntary intercourse on the infected females.
The camp is not a permanent settlement and those who still do not respond to treatment will be castrated.
My solution is not without reward. First, the homosexuals will save their souls from eternal damnation.
Secondly, land owners will receive compensation for land used by the degayification camps. This means the materials are produced cheaper and prices will be cheaper.
It does not benefit me. I offer it as away to solve the homosexual problem and invite others to provide better plans.
Jennifer R. Gordon
Sophomore, School of Agriculture
From:
no subject
I'm pretty sure this is satire.
From:
no subject
Danke.
From:
no subject
im not sure if i should be offended by this, amused, or just laughing at moronic people who think theyre clever.
also, i should mention that i want to kill people who are trying to make their writing sound better and end up being redundant and sounding even stupider: "forced to perform involuntary" erm. forced WOULD imply that something is involuntary, would it not? or at the VERY elast in THIS context. *mutters and kicks the author in the teeth*