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Title: Gingerbread Homes and Christmas Wishes (pt.3)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84
Paring: S/X (BtVS)
Rating: NC-17
A/N: Set 4 years post Not Fade Away. Only Spike survived Wolfram and Heart. Otherwise, pure and total schmoop fest. Hey look, I can write not-angst…who knew? Also, decidedly unbetad:)
Disclaimer: Aren’t mine. Never have been, never will be. Don’t sue, this is my fun.
Xander woke with a start, surprised to find bright sunlight cascading in through the windows. He sat for a moment, still huddled into a ball on the chair, reflecting on the dream. He’d had the dream many times since that night, but never had he woken up with such intense and fresh pain. It felt as if it had been only last night when Spike had left him.
After a few moments, the pain subsided along with the sharpness of the memory. He heard the clock on the second floor strike ten o’clock and realized he’d slept much later than he should have; he’d promised he’d drive the girls into town to the mall and take them out to lunch.
He knocked on Willow’s bedroom door and opened it, only to find it empty. The same with Buffy, Dawn, and Giles. He paused at his bedroom door, not sure whether to knock, go in, or pass by.
He settled for knocking, and after a few moments with no answer, he entered to find it empty as well. Just as well, he figured, he needed to take a shower.
Once showered and shaved and had donned a fresh pair of jeans and a sweater, he made his way to the kitchen. Half way down the stairs, he smelled coffee wafting through the house.
He entered the kitchen to find all the blinds and drapes still drawn tight. Spike was standing at the stove wearing an apron. An oven mitt clad hand held a spatula, the other hand rested on his hip. Xander had to fight back his laughter.
“Morning, Martha.” He said quietly, crossing over to the coffee pot, reveling in the strong scent.
“Fuck off, mate. Tryin to do something nice, here.” Spike said without glancing up, flipping a piece of French toast.
“Ooo, breakfast, huh?” Xander grinned, resting against the island, sipping his coffee and watching Spike. “Where are Giles and the girls?”
“Oh, they went out shopping. Er, the girls went shopping and Giles said something about hanging himself with last year’s spaghetti strap on sale for 75 percent off.” Spike shrugged.
“I was going to take them, why didn’t anyone wake me up?” Xander rounded the island and sat at one of the stools, enjoying the sight of Spike making breakfast for him.
“You were up there sawing logs so loud, even they could hear you. I found your keys and gave ‘em to Giles. Told ‘em to get lost and let you sleep.” Spike turned off the oven and pulled out what smelled like cinnamon rolls. “Do me a favor, get some plates and stuff.”
Xander complied, pulling two plates and forks and knives from their place, placing them on the table across from each other. He poured himself another cup of coffee and sat down. He was joined a moment later by Spike carrying a plate of French toast and bacon in one hand, a plate of rolls in the other.
“Didn’t have to. Don’t get much sleep lately anyway.” Xander mumbled. Spike paused and looked at him pointedly, but said nothing. “Besides, I told them I’d take everyone out for lunch. Figured you’d be asleep, anyway. You know, daytime and whatnot.”
“Normally I would be, pet, but it’s nighttime in Greece right now. Still not adjusted to the time difference. Come on, dig in.”
They did just that, gorging themselves on the feast of rolls and toast and bacon. They talked about everything that had been going on in their lives, but neither one brought up what they both wanted to talk about.
It was little after noon when Xander helped Spike carry the dishes to the sink, finding it empty. “Did you do that?” He asked, wondering what happened to the tea set.
“Yeah. Figured I might as well. Nothing else for me to do.” Spike shrugged.
“Oh, I heard about that. Sorry Passions was cancelled.” Xander teased.
“Oi, mate!” Spike exclaimed, punching Xander playfully in the arm.
Again, they talked about anything but them as they rinsed off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. They laughed about things back in Sunnydale and talked about how things were in Europe and here in Montana. But nothing substantial, nothing important.
Eventually they found themselves sitting next to each other on the couch in the quickly darkening parlor, legs crossed and facing each other, knees just slightly touching each other’s. They’d run out of things to say and now an awkward silence grew between them.
“Pet, how long can we go without talking about it?” Spike asked softly, looking into Xander’s eyes.
“Uh, guess that was about it, huh?” Xander replied, looking down at his lap where his hands were fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. “Spike, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Won’t lie, pet. I was mad, very mad, for a long time.” Spike’s voice was calm and sweetly low, the baritone notes plucking at Xander’s heart like a violin.
“I know,” was all he could offer.
“Couldn’t forgive you. Couldn’t let it go that I’d lost everyone and everything important to me. Couldn’t stand that I’d lost you.” It was Spike’s turn to lower his head.
“And you shouldn’t, Spike. I don’t think I could if it was the other way around. I let you down. And, and, people were hurt…killed…because of it. I understand, Spike. I get why you left. I want you know…I don’t blame you for it. Wish things had been different, but I can’t say I don’t understand why you left.”
“Good.” Spike said softly. At that, Xander looked up to see that Spike was gazing at him, his eyes wet and evanescent. “Because I needed you to understand.”
“Oh, yeah.” Funny how Xander could speak at all, as tightly as his throat was congested; that he could see through the veil of tears he refused to loose. He bowed his head once more.
“But I let it go, pet.” Xander perked his head up to see that Spike really was crying now, tears streaking down his pale face. But he was smiling through the tears.
“What do you mean, Spike?” Xander hadn’t meant to whisper, but it was all he could do.
“I know, Xander. Know why you didn’t come. Don’t blame you, love. Actually glad you didn’t come. If you would have, you wouldn’t be here today. You’d be gone…like them.”
Xander’s heart stopped beating and his lungs ceased to pump. The room faded out of his sight, and there was only one vampire, one broken and aching man in the entire world. The two of them had drifted off into their own realm of existence, it seemed to Xander.
“What are you saying, Spike?” Hope blossoming in his chest, fighting against the devastation.
“Xander, love, the last four years. I’ve been alone. I lost nearly everything important to me. There was one person in the whole world left who still knew me, still loved me. And I hurt you. Shouldn’t have left you, pet. Shouldn’t have hurt you. Shouldn’t have asked you to come when I knew you couldn’t.” Spike was sobbing now, drawing great gulps of air. The sound of his ragged liquid breaths made Xander’s heart break even more. But he still wasn’t sure what this meant, what he should say or do.
“Spent the last four years loving you, pet. The last four years I’ve been wanting you so bad. Just wanting your touch and to know that you loved me. Missed you so much, pet. I almost…I almost gave up a couple of times, Xander. Almost gave up and joined Angelus. But then I thought of you. You’re the reason I wanted to die, and the reason I want to live. Xander, love, I’m so sorry. So fuckin sorry, pet. Please forgive me. Please just love me, Xander.” Spike’s sobbing grew worse, making his voice come in coughs and gags. Each one was another dagger to Xander.
“Spike? Spike, look at me, love.” Xander nudged Spike’s chin with his palm, dieing inside once again when he saw such raw pain and self-loathing on the creature’s face. “Spike, we’re both idiots. You have no idea how many nights I haven’t been able to sleep, thinking about you and Angel and everyone you lost. Spike, I should have gone. I killed those people by not coming. I let you down. It’s me that should be apologizing, not you.” Xander was joining in the sobs, the tears running down his cheeks like a desert flood.
“Love you, pet. Love you so much. Want you so much now, so much. Why don’t we forgive each other and get over this?” Spike’s cries had calmed a level or two, while Xander’s had risen.
He could only nod and mouth agreement as Spike flung himself forward, pulling Xander to him and crushing him to his body. Spike wrapped his arms around Xander tightly, expelling any chance for the human to breathe properly.
Xander nuzzled into Spike’s neck, letting the tears and sobs ebb and flow. He let loose four long years of pain and hatred and rage and longing. He let it all out, held steadfastly in the arms of the man he loved more than anything he’d ever known.
The two lay there like that for what seemed like hours, entangled in each other, needing the contact and the bond that now seemed as if it never was broken. Each of them whispered meaningless words that were packed with more emotion and more meaning than they’d ever realized. To both it seemed as if, once again, they had a reason to remain alive; it seemed as if they were full again, no longer empty shells of people lost so long ago.
****
Xander and Spike were woken up by a very loud, high pitched obnoxious “squeeeeeeeeeee!” Xander practically fell off the couch, jumping as he did at the intruding noise. Spike, too, had slipped unconsciously into gameface, growling deeply at the would-be predator.
“Oh my God, guys, you have to come see this! It’s so cute!” Dawn screamed at the others, bouncing in place not three feet from the couch. Both Xander and Spike rolled their eyes, but they grinned proudly as well.
“Dawnie, what are you screaming abou-ooohhh.” Willow hollered, joining them in the room. “Awwww.”
“Bloody hell you morons. Just takin a nap.” Spike said, his voice coming through crystal clear around now-human teeth.
“Whoa, Xander, Spike. Do we need to, uh, give you some more time alone?” Buffy teased as she joined in the fun.
“Yes,” Spike said shamelessly.
“No,” Xander exclaimed at the same time. “I mean, why don’t you guys head to the kitchen? Be there in a sec and we can fix dinner.”
“Uh huh, a ‘sec’, huh?” Buffy, ever the Prima Donna of tactful sarcasm, chimed. “Come on, let’s let them, uh, finish their ‘nap.’” Buffy said, using air quotes and becoming red in the face from not laughing out loud.
With that, Buffy, Willow and Dawn left Spike and Xander to their own devices, as they retreated to the kitchen. Xander could have sworn he heard Dawn say “hot” and Buffy shush her while Willow only giggled.
“So, pet, have a nice snooze?” Spike asked, his voice rich as velvet in Xander’s ear. Xander looked back down at the vampire whose arms were still clasped tightly around him. Their gaze locked together once more.
“Best sleep I’ve had in long time, Spike. Missed that. Missed you.” Xander whispered, leaning down, his lips hovering just slightly above Spike’s.
“Not as much as I did, pet.” Spike ran one hand up Xander’s back, causing the human to shiver, and took hold of his neck, closing the gap between their lips.
For each of them, the deep cataclysm of the kiss was something old and something new. It was familiar, as if it had always been, yet at the same time new territory never before explored. They lost themselves in that exploration and that search for memories of what once was. Forgot themselves and knew only them, each other. Knew only the flesh against flesh, scorching heat against burning cold. They never wanted to stop.
“Ehem,” Giles cleared his throat loudly, stopping them. They turned in unison to glare at the intruder, who shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking rather uncomfortable.
“Sod off, mate, we’re snogging, here.” Spike muttered, turning Xander’s face back to his to continue the exploration.
“I trust, then, that you two are…back?” Giles asked timidly.
Neither man spoke, but Xander pulled his hand out from between them, giving Giles the thumbs up sign. Spike did the same, however it was a different finger he used. The Watcher, Xander saw from the corner of his eye, turned on his heel and left the room rather quickly.
“We should get up, Spike.” Xander said a few minutes later, his lips swollen and blood red.
“Now why should we do that, pet?” Spike asked, running his hands up and down Xander’s back, causing the human to elicit several small moans.
“Because. We. Shouldn’t. Leave. Them. Alone.” Xander managed between more kisses, feeling as if he could never get enough of them.
“Not alone, they’ve got each other.” Spike pointed out, laughing softly when Xander rolled his eyes at him.
After a few more minutes of “snogging,” Xander pried himself off of and away from the vampire, standing up and stretching. Spike didn’t take his eyes off of him for moment. Xander reached out a hand to help him up, pulling him into another tight hug and deep kiss.
Eventually they made it to the kitchen which was full of snickering, giggling, and blushing.
****
The evening found them once again in the parlor, a fire snapping and coughing in the fireplace, the glowing Christmas tree rivaling any creation of Picasso, tea and wine being drank, talking of the old Sunnydale days and remembering things lost to them.
A night just like the previous, save for one thing. Spike and Xander sat together on the couch, hands folded together, fingers knitted, Xander with his head on Spike’s shoulder. Xander had never grinned wider than when he realized that this was what Christmas was about.
****
It was nearly one o’clock when Xander heard a knock at the studio door. Again the room was dark, save for the dancing firelight reflected all around him.
“Come in,” he called, knowing who it was before they entered. His suspicion was confirmed when he turned from his place on the floor to find Spike’s framed draped against the open door. He grinned, turning back to face the fireplace.
“S’matter, love?” Spike asked gently, as Xander heard the door close and the lock click into place.
“Nothing,” he answered truthfully. “Just thinking, that’s all.”
“Bout what, pet?” Smooth as silk voice at his ear, strong hands kneading his shoulders.
“Bout you and me, us. Everything.” Xander admitted. “Thankful to have you back, hating that it took so long, happy to be loved.”
“S’lot to think about, Xander.” Spike whispered, hands roaming from shoulders to chest, lips from ear to lips.
Xander sank back into the hard body behind him, pressing back against the cool cotton of Spike’s lips.
“Missed you, Spike. So glad you’re back here with me. Don’t leave me again, please? Please, don’t leave me.” Whispers and kisses seemed as if they were the language between the two men.
“Gonna have to, pet.” Spike said, feeling Xander’s body turn to stone in his arms. “Gotta go back to get my car.” Laughter as Xander again melted into him.
“You and that damned Desoto.” Xander teased, yipping as lips and tongue worked at his throat. “L-leave it, I’ll buy you a new one.” Spike only hummed his reply, causing Xander to arch his back at the instant pleasure.
Xander turned on his knees to face Spike, leaning forward and pulling him into another searching, needing kiss. Their tongues met, dancing silently and restlessly. Xander cupped Spike’s chin and sighed into the vampire’s mouth as Spike’s hands began to roam over his chest and arms, stopping briefly to tug on the human’s nipples, eliciting more squeaks and moans of pleasure.
Xander’s hands sank to Spike’s hip, slowly grazing down the vampire’s statuesque chest. His trembling fingers fumbled but succeeded in popping the first button through its loop, followed by one than two more.
Spike gently pushed him back so he was leaning on his elbows, taking advantage of the position by grinding his pelvis into the human’s. Again, Xander found Spike’s mouth on his neck, suckling and licking, kissing and nipping as the vampire slowly ground their jean clad lengths together. Xander returned the favor, nuzzling at first but then tasting and sucking at Spike’s neck, causing him to rock into him harder, faster.
Xander reached between them, plunging his hands into Spike’s crotch, feeling and caressing the hardness there, pulling softly. Spike reached and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, repeating the action to Xander. Again he came down on top of the human, cold flesh meeting warm, both bodies quaking at the ying-yang contact.
Xander pushed Spike back, lowering the black jeans and freeing the stone cock. He bobbed his head, licking along the length of Spike’s shaft, one hand wandering over Spike’s chest, the other gently pulling on the tight flesh of his balls. He swirled his tongue over the head, grinning inwardly at the loud gasp Spike made, loving that he could make a vampire breathe again. At last he took the length into his mouth, more and more until he felt the down of Spike’s soft hair at his nose and cheeks. He held it there for a moment, savoring the taste and feel of the organ there.
Reluctantly, he let it out, only to repeat the motion, sucking gently, again and again, each time circling his tongue around the sensitive crown of Spike’s cock. The vampire was no longer gasping but pleading for unneeded breath, his hands gripping fiercely on Xander’s shoulders, fingers digging into flesh.
Xander released the cock and was pulled into another achingly violent kiss, Spike’s hands now doing what had been done to him. Xander squeezed his eyes tight and ceased to breath as he felt hands of ice grip his smoldering cock, stroking once, then twice, twisting slightly, and repeating the action.
He felt himself being pushed onto his back as Spike again lowered himself on top of the human, kicking off his jeans. Licking and nibbling his way from ear to throat to collar and nipple, sending tiny bottle rockets of pleasure through Xander. One nipple and than the other sucked and pinched and rubbed, making Xander writhe as if in seizure.
Spike made his way slowly, so slowly to where he was still pumping, replacing fist with fissure, pulling Xander’s cock into his mouth at once, tearing his jeans off recklessly, impatient for what he’d waited for for so long. As he slowly dipped and weaved his head around and up and down on the human’s cock, he touched with one hand every piece of flesh he could, while the other trickled to find Xander’s hole, teasing and stroking it with one slick finger.
Slower still, it entered Xander gently, pressing and forcing, stretching as the human begged and cried for more. Two fingers, searching and stretching yet more, as Xander’s body tensed again, telling Spike that he had found that spot. One last finger, slowly pushing and pulling while he continued to bob and weave upon Xander’s rock hard cock, and at last they were ready.
Spike grabbed Xander’s ankles, pushing his legs up so that his knees touched chest, enjoying the view of the passion-bridled mortal needing him so much, wanting him so badly.
One hard and furious thrust, and he was buried deep inside, hips slamming against ass, an audible smack and an even louder scream from both of them as they each felt Spike’s cock sear against that spot. Spike glided gently out and slammed back in, nearly screaming again at the sight of Xander’s good eye roll back in ecstasy. Again and again he repeated the tenacious pull and push, increasing speed and need, harder and faster with every thrust as Xander bucked his hips to meet each one. Xander’s hands were made of steel, cuffing Spike’s wrists as he bounced and glided to meet each ferocious push.
Sweat flowed like a river from Spike’s temple, pooling onto Xander’s stomach, splattering on the bare wood they lie on. One more look at Xander’s face, his mouth open and sucking for air, and Spike knew he couldn’t last much longer.
“Xander, love!” He howled as he pushed in once more, exploding, eyes tied tightly shut, feeling everything within him expel into the human, cool and warmth again meeting and melting together.
He opened his eyes just in time to see Xander’s cock burst of its own accord, spewing the milky liquid all over his chest and shoulders, the floor beside and around him. A geyser that seemed as if it would never cease to flow, but at last the tide subsided and tapered to only a pearl drop of liquid, dangling from Xander’s cock.
Spike heaved one last breath before wrenching himself free and collapsing on the spent human. Xander wrapped his arms tightly around the vampire, again seeking out the cool embrace and joining of lips. Eventually his breathing returned to normal and his heart no longer felt as if it might just suddenly stop.
“Spike,” he managed to breathe after minutes of rest, “that was…oh God did I miss that!”
“You’ve no idea, pet.” Spike whispered into his ear, sending yet more shivers through Xander’s body. “No idea at all.”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve jerked off wanting that? Wishing you were in me?”
“Probly not as much as me, love. We’ve got lots of catching up to do.” Spike said, his cock already stirring back to life. He could feel Xander’s twitch between them as well.
“Then, why not catch up?” Such passion in those words; such completely needful and wanting passion.
****
The only thing Xander could comprehend when he woke the next morning is that the room was blazing with light and that he was alone, no one lying against him. For more than a moment, he panicked, thinking the worst.
But then Spike entered the room, and Xander realized it was his bedroom, cloaked in the brightness of the bedside table. They’d moved to the bedroom just before daybreak to continue their…rekindling…without the self-barbeque tutorial.
Xander lay back down, pulling the soft down comforter up to his chin, and smiling as Spike slunk across the room, nude and looking just amazing. He slipped in to bed, pulling Xander close and wrapping his arm around the warm human.
“Morning, pet.” He said.
“Morning, Spike.” Xander replied, kissing Spike’s chest and then stretching under the blankets.
“God, Spike!” He exclaimed, feeling every bone and joint in his body pop and crack, all of them used within an inch of their life.
“S’right, and don’t you forget it, mate.” Spike teased. Xander only rolled his eyes and then rolled over to look at the time.
“Shit, it’s already two o’clock? I swear, doesn’t anyone wonder where I am anymore?” He said, rolling off the bed and hoisting himself up and into a pair of jeans, not bothering to throw on boxers.
“So what, love? Gives me more time to snog you.” The vampire said, sex dripping off those all too sensuous lips.
“Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Clorox, I’d love to lay in bed and do that all day, but it’s Christmas Eve, Spike. Stuff to do!” Xander said, running and leaping onto the bed and into the vampire’s arms, willingly submitting himself to another long kiss.
“What could be more important than getting the light shagged out of you, pet?” Spike asked, one eyebrow perched perilously high about the other.
“Mmm…huh? Oh, right. I have to run to the grocery store, get some last minute stuff for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow, finish wrapping presents, have to cook the meals, eat the meals, at least see the girls and Giles one more time before they leave, and some other stuff.” Xander once more reluctantly plucked himself from the vampire’s arms, laughing silently at the pout Spike put on.
“Be out in a bit, love. Wanna shower.” Xander knew quite well that Spike was going to inch over to where Xander’d been sleeping and wait for the warmth to dissipate before even thinking about leaving the bed.
“Uh huh, in a bit? See you at sunset, buddy.” Xander leaned down to peck Spike on the cheek, surprised but not really at being pulled down for one more heart stopping kiss. Xander had the hardest time getting back out of bed after that.
****
The clock in the dining room read just a little before seven that night as they were putting dinner on the rich polished pine table. They had opted to use the large dining room table in place of the kitchen table, primarily so they could fit all the food on it.
Dawn carried in the dinner rolls, butter, salad and deviled eggs. Buffy was in charge of cranberries, fruit salad, toasted pineapples, sweet potatoes and Jell-O. Willow got the mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and fresh asparagus, while Spike agreed to grab salt and pepper. Giles spotted Xander as he hefted the fairly large ham into the room, the tasty hunk of pork dwarfing the silver serving tray.
Xander sat at the head of the table with Giles and Willow to his right, Dawn and Buffy to his left. Spike took up the foot of the table, smirking as he sat. Xander paused, realizing just how right it looked, Spike in that spot. At last, he sat as well, offering the carving fork and knife to Giles.
“Giles, would you like to do the honors?” He asked, taking delight at the expression on the older man’s face.
“Are you sure, Xander? I mean, this is your home, I really think you should do it.” Giles said, taking the procured instruments anyway.
“Giles, I’ll be honest with you. Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of having a beautiful house and huge meals at Christmas time. Back then, I wanted my father to be there for the meal, to do this. Was important to me. Still is, that’s why I want you to do it.”
Giles stretched one hand out, grasping Xander’s wrist, a smile on his lips and tears in his eyes. He simply nodded, and proceeded to cut and serve everyone.
The group feasted, chattering wildly and loudly about how beautiful and delicious everything was. They grew into the normal pattern of sharing Christmas horror stories, memories and laughter filling the large house with the ease of age-old friends. More than once, Xander looked up from his plate to find Spike staring at him, smiling like a fool, his eyes sparkling in the light of the chandelier and the Yule candles on the table. More than twice, he found himself doing the same thing. More than three times he never wanted anything to change, to just be able to live this night for the rest of his life, knowing that Spike was there, was his, returned to him.
The feast was coming to an end, after dinner tea being served with delicious cherry and apple pies, when Xander was struck by an idea that became very important to him.
“Not to sound too yuppie, but I’d like to make a toast.” He said, standing and raising his full glass of Chardonnay. The rest of the group followed suit, smiles and love and belonging adorning the face of everyone.
“Geeze, Xander, get all grown-uppy, why don’t you? Make me feel old.” Buffy teased. Everyone else laughed at the pure simplicity of the buffyism, loving the familiarity.
“Anyway,” Xander began, glaring bemusedly at Buffy. “I just want to say how great it’s been having you guys here. I’m really glad you guys came. First time in a long time it’s actually felt like Christmas to me.” Xander paused his strolling gaze, catching Spike’s eyes once more, grinning stupidly at the warm fuzzies it gave him. “I know we’ve been apart a long time, now that we’ve all got our own things going down. But I’d like to say that you’re all welcome here, anytime. I’ve missed you guys, and I would love for you all to come back and do this every year from now on. Because this is what Scooby power is all about.”
“To the Scoobies!” Willow belted out.
“To the Scoobies!” Everyone echoed, taking drinks of tea, water, wine, blood.
As Xander began to sit, he was struck by one more thought.
“One more thing.” He scowled as everyone moaned, but continued anyway. “I just want to say that I know we’ve all lost people in our time on the Hellmouth, and we all know what it’s like. Tara, Ms. Calendar, Anya, Joyce…Angel. We all know the hell we’ve been through, and I think we’ve come out pretty good all things considered. I think we should use the time we have to remember those we lost because, really, we wouldn’t be here without them. So I toast to those we’ve lost and will forever love, in acceptance, in remembrance, and in hope that one day, far in the distant future, we’ll see them again.”
No one spoke, but everyone had tears in their eyes as they raised their glasses silently to those that had fallen so early in their lives. For many moments, it seemed as if the party had been crashed by some demon or other. But soon enough the clatter of dishes and chatter of laughter filled the house once more as they all helped to clear the table and clean the dishes.
Xander was carrying the tray on which the very meatless ham bone was placed, when he felt a tap on the shoulder. He began to turn, only to have strong arms wrap around him, Spike’s chin nestling sweetly on Xander’s shoulder.
“Was beautiful, pet. Thank you, love.” Spike tilted his head and placed a lingering kiss upon Xander’s cheek.
“Thanks.” Xander tilted his head as well, and their lips met for a brief but sweet kiss.
“So, pet, never gave me an answer to my question.”
“Which was…?”
“Are you happy?”
“Simple answer…yes.” Xander said, leaning fully on his vampire.
“Good.”
“Merry Christmas, Spike.”
“Merry Christmas, Xander.” Spike said, his arms hugging just a little bit tighter.
Author:
chocgood84 Paring: S/X (BtVS)
Rating: NC-17
A/N: Set 4 years post Not Fade Away. Only Spike survived Wolfram and Heart. Otherwise, pure and total schmoop fest. Hey look, I can write not-angst…who knew? Also, decidedly unbetad:)
Disclaimer: Aren’t mine. Never have been, never will be. Don’t sue, this is my fun.
Xander woke with a start, surprised to find bright sunlight cascading in through the windows. He sat for a moment, still huddled into a ball on the chair, reflecting on the dream. He’d had the dream many times since that night, but never had he woken up with such intense and fresh pain. It felt as if it had been only last night when Spike had left him.
After a few moments, the pain subsided along with the sharpness of the memory. He heard the clock on the second floor strike ten o’clock and realized he’d slept much later than he should have; he’d promised he’d drive the girls into town to the mall and take them out to lunch.
He knocked on Willow’s bedroom door and opened it, only to find it empty. The same with Buffy, Dawn, and Giles. He paused at his bedroom door, not sure whether to knock, go in, or pass by.
He settled for knocking, and after a few moments with no answer, he entered to find it empty as well. Just as well, he figured, he needed to take a shower.
Once showered and shaved and had donned a fresh pair of jeans and a sweater, he made his way to the kitchen. Half way down the stairs, he smelled coffee wafting through the house.
He entered the kitchen to find all the blinds and drapes still drawn tight. Spike was standing at the stove wearing an apron. An oven mitt clad hand held a spatula, the other hand rested on his hip. Xander had to fight back his laughter.
“Morning, Martha.” He said quietly, crossing over to the coffee pot, reveling in the strong scent.
“Fuck off, mate. Tryin to do something nice, here.” Spike said without glancing up, flipping a piece of French toast.
“Ooo, breakfast, huh?” Xander grinned, resting against the island, sipping his coffee and watching Spike. “Where are Giles and the girls?”
“Oh, they went out shopping. Er, the girls went shopping and Giles said something about hanging himself with last year’s spaghetti strap on sale for 75 percent off.” Spike shrugged.
“I was going to take them, why didn’t anyone wake me up?” Xander rounded the island and sat at one of the stools, enjoying the sight of Spike making breakfast for him.
“You were up there sawing logs so loud, even they could hear you. I found your keys and gave ‘em to Giles. Told ‘em to get lost and let you sleep.” Spike turned off the oven and pulled out what smelled like cinnamon rolls. “Do me a favor, get some plates and stuff.”
Xander complied, pulling two plates and forks and knives from their place, placing them on the table across from each other. He poured himself another cup of coffee and sat down. He was joined a moment later by Spike carrying a plate of French toast and bacon in one hand, a plate of rolls in the other.
“Didn’t have to. Don’t get much sleep lately anyway.” Xander mumbled. Spike paused and looked at him pointedly, but said nothing. “Besides, I told them I’d take everyone out for lunch. Figured you’d be asleep, anyway. You know, daytime and whatnot.”
“Normally I would be, pet, but it’s nighttime in Greece right now. Still not adjusted to the time difference. Come on, dig in.”
They did just that, gorging themselves on the feast of rolls and toast and bacon. They talked about everything that had been going on in their lives, but neither one brought up what they both wanted to talk about.
It was little after noon when Xander helped Spike carry the dishes to the sink, finding it empty. “Did you do that?” He asked, wondering what happened to the tea set.
“Yeah. Figured I might as well. Nothing else for me to do.” Spike shrugged.
“Oh, I heard about that. Sorry Passions was cancelled.” Xander teased.
“Oi, mate!” Spike exclaimed, punching Xander playfully in the arm.
Again, they talked about anything but them as they rinsed off the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. They laughed about things back in Sunnydale and talked about how things were in Europe and here in Montana. But nothing substantial, nothing important.
Eventually they found themselves sitting next to each other on the couch in the quickly darkening parlor, legs crossed and facing each other, knees just slightly touching each other’s. They’d run out of things to say and now an awkward silence grew between them.
“Pet, how long can we go without talking about it?” Spike asked softly, looking into Xander’s eyes.
“Uh, guess that was about it, huh?” Xander replied, looking down at his lap where his hands were fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. “Spike, I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Won’t lie, pet. I was mad, very mad, for a long time.” Spike’s voice was calm and sweetly low, the baritone notes plucking at Xander’s heart like a violin.
“I know,” was all he could offer.
“Couldn’t forgive you. Couldn’t let it go that I’d lost everyone and everything important to me. Couldn’t stand that I’d lost you.” It was Spike’s turn to lower his head.
“And you shouldn’t, Spike. I don’t think I could if it was the other way around. I let you down. And, and, people were hurt…killed…because of it. I understand, Spike. I get why you left. I want you know…I don’t blame you for it. Wish things had been different, but I can’t say I don’t understand why you left.”
“Good.” Spike said softly. At that, Xander looked up to see that Spike was gazing at him, his eyes wet and evanescent. “Because I needed you to understand.”
“Oh, yeah.” Funny how Xander could speak at all, as tightly as his throat was congested; that he could see through the veil of tears he refused to loose. He bowed his head once more.
“But I let it go, pet.” Xander perked his head up to see that Spike really was crying now, tears streaking down his pale face. But he was smiling through the tears.
“What do you mean, Spike?” Xander hadn’t meant to whisper, but it was all he could do.
“I know, Xander. Know why you didn’t come. Don’t blame you, love. Actually glad you didn’t come. If you would have, you wouldn’t be here today. You’d be gone…like them.”
Xander’s heart stopped beating and his lungs ceased to pump. The room faded out of his sight, and there was only one vampire, one broken and aching man in the entire world. The two of them had drifted off into their own realm of existence, it seemed to Xander.
“What are you saying, Spike?” Hope blossoming in his chest, fighting against the devastation.
“Xander, love, the last four years. I’ve been alone. I lost nearly everything important to me. There was one person in the whole world left who still knew me, still loved me. And I hurt you. Shouldn’t have left you, pet. Shouldn’t have hurt you. Shouldn’t have asked you to come when I knew you couldn’t.” Spike was sobbing now, drawing great gulps of air. The sound of his ragged liquid breaths made Xander’s heart break even more. But he still wasn’t sure what this meant, what he should say or do.
“Spent the last four years loving you, pet. The last four years I’ve been wanting you so bad. Just wanting your touch and to know that you loved me. Missed you so much, pet. I almost…I almost gave up a couple of times, Xander. Almost gave up and joined Angelus. But then I thought of you. You’re the reason I wanted to die, and the reason I want to live. Xander, love, I’m so sorry. So fuckin sorry, pet. Please forgive me. Please just love me, Xander.” Spike’s sobbing grew worse, making his voice come in coughs and gags. Each one was another dagger to Xander.
“Spike? Spike, look at me, love.” Xander nudged Spike’s chin with his palm, dieing inside once again when he saw such raw pain and self-loathing on the creature’s face. “Spike, we’re both idiots. You have no idea how many nights I haven’t been able to sleep, thinking about you and Angel and everyone you lost. Spike, I should have gone. I killed those people by not coming. I let you down. It’s me that should be apologizing, not you.” Xander was joining in the sobs, the tears running down his cheeks like a desert flood.
“Love you, pet. Love you so much. Want you so much now, so much. Why don’t we forgive each other and get over this?” Spike’s cries had calmed a level or two, while Xander’s had risen.
He could only nod and mouth agreement as Spike flung himself forward, pulling Xander to him and crushing him to his body. Spike wrapped his arms around Xander tightly, expelling any chance for the human to breathe properly.
Xander nuzzled into Spike’s neck, letting the tears and sobs ebb and flow. He let loose four long years of pain and hatred and rage and longing. He let it all out, held steadfastly in the arms of the man he loved more than anything he’d ever known.
The two lay there like that for what seemed like hours, entangled in each other, needing the contact and the bond that now seemed as if it never was broken. Each of them whispered meaningless words that were packed with more emotion and more meaning than they’d ever realized. To both it seemed as if, once again, they had a reason to remain alive; it seemed as if they were full again, no longer empty shells of people lost so long ago.
****
Xander and Spike were woken up by a very loud, high pitched obnoxious “squeeeeeeeeeee!” Xander practically fell off the couch, jumping as he did at the intruding noise. Spike, too, had slipped unconsciously into gameface, growling deeply at the would-be predator.
“Oh my God, guys, you have to come see this! It’s so cute!” Dawn screamed at the others, bouncing in place not three feet from the couch. Both Xander and Spike rolled their eyes, but they grinned proudly as well.
“Dawnie, what are you screaming abou-ooohhh.” Willow hollered, joining them in the room. “Awwww.”
“Bloody hell you morons. Just takin a nap.” Spike said, his voice coming through crystal clear around now-human teeth.
“Whoa, Xander, Spike. Do we need to, uh, give you some more time alone?” Buffy teased as she joined in the fun.
“Yes,” Spike said shamelessly.
“No,” Xander exclaimed at the same time. “I mean, why don’t you guys head to the kitchen? Be there in a sec and we can fix dinner.”
“Uh huh, a ‘sec’, huh?” Buffy, ever the Prima Donna of tactful sarcasm, chimed. “Come on, let’s let them, uh, finish their ‘nap.’” Buffy said, using air quotes and becoming red in the face from not laughing out loud.
With that, Buffy, Willow and Dawn left Spike and Xander to their own devices, as they retreated to the kitchen. Xander could have sworn he heard Dawn say “hot” and Buffy shush her while Willow only giggled.
“So, pet, have a nice snooze?” Spike asked, his voice rich as velvet in Xander’s ear. Xander looked back down at the vampire whose arms were still clasped tightly around him. Their gaze locked together once more.
“Best sleep I’ve had in long time, Spike. Missed that. Missed you.” Xander whispered, leaning down, his lips hovering just slightly above Spike’s.
“Not as much as I did, pet.” Spike ran one hand up Xander’s back, causing the human to shiver, and took hold of his neck, closing the gap between their lips.
For each of them, the deep cataclysm of the kiss was something old and something new. It was familiar, as if it had always been, yet at the same time new territory never before explored. They lost themselves in that exploration and that search for memories of what once was. Forgot themselves and knew only them, each other. Knew only the flesh against flesh, scorching heat against burning cold. They never wanted to stop.
“Ehem,” Giles cleared his throat loudly, stopping them. They turned in unison to glare at the intruder, who shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking rather uncomfortable.
“Sod off, mate, we’re snogging, here.” Spike muttered, turning Xander’s face back to his to continue the exploration.
“I trust, then, that you two are…back?” Giles asked timidly.
Neither man spoke, but Xander pulled his hand out from between them, giving Giles the thumbs up sign. Spike did the same, however it was a different finger he used. The Watcher, Xander saw from the corner of his eye, turned on his heel and left the room rather quickly.
“We should get up, Spike.” Xander said a few minutes later, his lips swollen and blood red.
“Now why should we do that, pet?” Spike asked, running his hands up and down Xander’s back, causing the human to elicit several small moans.
“Because. We. Shouldn’t. Leave. Them. Alone.” Xander managed between more kisses, feeling as if he could never get enough of them.
“Not alone, they’ve got each other.” Spike pointed out, laughing softly when Xander rolled his eyes at him.
After a few more minutes of “snogging,” Xander pried himself off of and away from the vampire, standing up and stretching. Spike didn’t take his eyes off of him for moment. Xander reached out a hand to help him up, pulling him into another tight hug and deep kiss.
Eventually they made it to the kitchen which was full of snickering, giggling, and blushing.
****
The evening found them once again in the parlor, a fire snapping and coughing in the fireplace, the glowing Christmas tree rivaling any creation of Picasso, tea and wine being drank, talking of the old Sunnydale days and remembering things lost to them.
A night just like the previous, save for one thing. Spike and Xander sat together on the couch, hands folded together, fingers knitted, Xander with his head on Spike’s shoulder. Xander had never grinned wider than when he realized that this was what Christmas was about.
****
It was nearly one o’clock when Xander heard a knock at the studio door. Again the room was dark, save for the dancing firelight reflected all around him.
“Come in,” he called, knowing who it was before they entered. His suspicion was confirmed when he turned from his place on the floor to find Spike’s framed draped against the open door. He grinned, turning back to face the fireplace.
“S’matter, love?” Spike asked gently, as Xander heard the door close and the lock click into place.
“Nothing,” he answered truthfully. “Just thinking, that’s all.”
“Bout what, pet?” Smooth as silk voice at his ear, strong hands kneading his shoulders.
“Bout you and me, us. Everything.” Xander admitted. “Thankful to have you back, hating that it took so long, happy to be loved.”
“S’lot to think about, Xander.” Spike whispered, hands roaming from shoulders to chest, lips from ear to lips.
Xander sank back into the hard body behind him, pressing back against the cool cotton of Spike’s lips.
“Missed you, Spike. So glad you’re back here with me. Don’t leave me again, please? Please, don’t leave me.” Whispers and kisses seemed as if they were the language between the two men.
“Gonna have to, pet.” Spike said, feeling Xander’s body turn to stone in his arms. “Gotta go back to get my car.” Laughter as Xander again melted into him.
“You and that damned Desoto.” Xander teased, yipping as lips and tongue worked at his throat. “L-leave it, I’ll buy you a new one.” Spike only hummed his reply, causing Xander to arch his back at the instant pleasure.
Xander turned on his knees to face Spike, leaning forward and pulling him into another searching, needing kiss. Their tongues met, dancing silently and restlessly. Xander cupped Spike’s chin and sighed into the vampire’s mouth as Spike’s hands began to roam over his chest and arms, stopping briefly to tug on the human’s nipples, eliciting more squeaks and moans of pleasure.
Xander’s hands sank to Spike’s hip, slowly grazing down the vampire’s statuesque chest. His trembling fingers fumbled but succeeded in popping the first button through its loop, followed by one than two more.
Spike gently pushed him back so he was leaning on his elbows, taking advantage of the position by grinding his pelvis into the human’s. Again, Xander found Spike’s mouth on his neck, suckling and licking, kissing and nipping as the vampire slowly ground their jean clad lengths together. Xander returned the favor, nuzzling at first but then tasting and sucking at Spike’s neck, causing him to rock into him harder, faster.
Xander reached between them, plunging his hands into Spike’s crotch, feeling and caressing the hardness there, pulling softly. Spike reached and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, repeating the action to Xander. Again he came down on top of the human, cold flesh meeting warm, both bodies quaking at the ying-yang contact.
Xander pushed Spike back, lowering the black jeans and freeing the stone cock. He bobbed his head, licking along the length of Spike’s shaft, one hand wandering over Spike’s chest, the other gently pulling on the tight flesh of his balls. He swirled his tongue over the head, grinning inwardly at the loud gasp Spike made, loving that he could make a vampire breathe again. At last he took the length into his mouth, more and more until he felt the down of Spike’s soft hair at his nose and cheeks. He held it there for a moment, savoring the taste and feel of the organ there.
Reluctantly, he let it out, only to repeat the motion, sucking gently, again and again, each time circling his tongue around the sensitive crown of Spike’s cock. The vampire was no longer gasping but pleading for unneeded breath, his hands gripping fiercely on Xander’s shoulders, fingers digging into flesh.
Xander released the cock and was pulled into another achingly violent kiss, Spike’s hands now doing what had been done to him. Xander squeezed his eyes tight and ceased to breath as he felt hands of ice grip his smoldering cock, stroking once, then twice, twisting slightly, and repeating the action.
He felt himself being pushed onto his back as Spike again lowered himself on top of the human, kicking off his jeans. Licking and nibbling his way from ear to throat to collar and nipple, sending tiny bottle rockets of pleasure through Xander. One nipple and than the other sucked and pinched and rubbed, making Xander writhe as if in seizure.
Spike made his way slowly, so slowly to where he was still pumping, replacing fist with fissure, pulling Xander’s cock into his mouth at once, tearing his jeans off recklessly, impatient for what he’d waited for for so long. As he slowly dipped and weaved his head around and up and down on the human’s cock, he touched with one hand every piece of flesh he could, while the other trickled to find Xander’s hole, teasing and stroking it with one slick finger.
Slower still, it entered Xander gently, pressing and forcing, stretching as the human begged and cried for more. Two fingers, searching and stretching yet more, as Xander’s body tensed again, telling Spike that he had found that spot. One last finger, slowly pushing and pulling while he continued to bob and weave upon Xander’s rock hard cock, and at last they were ready.
Spike grabbed Xander’s ankles, pushing his legs up so that his knees touched chest, enjoying the view of the passion-bridled mortal needing him so much, wanting him so badly.
One hard and furious thrust, and he was buried deep inside, hips slamming against ass, an audible smack and an even louder scream from both of them as they each felt Spike’s cock sear against that spot. Spike glided gently out and slammed back in, nearly screaming again at the sight of Xander’s good eye roll back in ecstasy. Again and again he repeated the tenacious pull and push, increasing speed and need, harder and faster with every thrust as Xander bucked his hips to meet each one. Xander’s hands were made of steel, cuffing Spike’s wrists as he bounced and glided to meet each ferocious push.
Sweat flowed like a river from Spike’s temple, pooling onto Xander’s stomach, splattering on the bare wood they lie on. One more look at Xander’s face, his mouth open and sucking for air, and Spike knew he couldn’t last much longer.
“Xander, love!” He howled as he pushed in once more, exploding, eyes tied tightly shut, feeling everything within him expel into the human, cool and warmth again meeting and melting together.
He opened his eyes just in time to see Xander’s cock burst of its own accord, spewing the milky liquid all over his chest and shoulders, the floor beside and around him. A geyser that seemed as if it would never cease to flow, but at last the tide subsided and tapered to only a pearl drop of liquid, dangling from Xander’s cock.
Spike heaved one last breath before wrenching himself free and collapsing on the spent human. Xander wrapped his arms tightly around the vampire, again seeking out the cool embrace and joining of lips. Eventually his breathing returned to normal and his heart no longer felt as if it might just suddenly stop.
“Spike,” he managed to breathe after minutes of rest, “that was…oh God did I miss that!”
“You’ve no idea, pet.” Spike whispered into his ear, sending yet more shivers through Xander’s body. “No idea at all.”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve jerked off wanting that? Wishing you were in me?”
“Probly not as much as me, love. We’ve got lots of catching up to do.” Spike said, his cock already stirring back to life. He could feel Xander’s twitch between them as well.
“Then, why not catch up?” Such passion in those words; such completely needful and wanting passion.
****
The only thing Xander could comprehend when he woke the next morning is that the room was blazing with light and that he was alone, no one lying against him. For more than a moment, he panicked, thinking the worst.
But then Spike entered the room, and Xander realized it was his bedroom, cloaked in the brightness of the bedside table. They’d moved to the bedroom just before daybreak to continue their…rekindling…without the self-barbeque tutorial.
Xander lay back down, pulling the soft down comforter up to his chin, and smiling as Spike slunk across the room, nude and looking just amazing. He slipped in to bed, pulling Xander close and wrapping his arm around the warm human.
“Morning, pet.” He said.
“Morning, Spike.” Xander replied, kissing Spike’s chest and then stretching under the blankets.
“God, Spike!” He exclaimed, feeling every bone and joint in his body pop and crack, all of them used within an inch of their life.
“S’right, and don’t you forget it, mate.” Spike teased. Xander only rolled his eyes and then rolled over to look at the time.
“Shit, it’s already two o’clock? I swear, doesn’t anyone wonder where I am anymore?” He said, rolling off the bed and hoisting himself up and into a pair of jeans, not bothering to throw on boxers.
“So what, love? Gives me more time to snog you.” The vampire said, sex dripping off those all too sensuous lips.
“Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Clorox, I’d love to lay in bed and do that all day, but it’s Christmas Eve, Spike. Stuff to do!” Xander said, running and leaping onto the bed and into the vampire’s arms, willingly submitting himself to another long kiss.
“What could be more important than getting the light shagged out of you, pet?” Spike asked, one eyebrow perched perilously high about the other.
“Mmm…huh? Oh, right. I have to run to the grocery store, get some last minute stuff for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow, finish wrapping presents, have to cook the meals, eat the meals, at least see the girls and Giles one more time before they leave, and some other stuff.” Xander once more reluctantly plucked himself from the vampire’s arms, laughing silently at the pout Spike put on.
“Be out in a bit, love. Wanna shower.” Xander knew quite well that Spike was going to inch over to where Xander’d been sleeping and wait for the warmth to dissipate before even thinking about leaving the bed.
“Uh huh, in a bit? See you at sunset, buddy.” Xander leaned down to peck Spike on the cheek, surprised but not really at being pulled down for one more heart stopping kiss. Xander had the hardest time getting back out of bed after that.
****
The clock in the dining room read just a little before seven that night as they were putting dinner on the rich polished pine table. They had opted to use the large dining room table in place of the kitchen table, primarily so they could fit all the food on it.
Dawn carried in the dinner rolls, butter, salad and deviled eggs. Buffy was in charge of cranberries, fruit salad, toasted pineapples, sweet potatoes and Jell-O. Willow got the mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and fresh asparagus, while Spike agreed to grab salt and pepper. Giles spotted Xander as he hefted the fairly large ham into the room, the tasty hunk of pork dwarfing the silver serving tray.
Xander sat at the head of the table with Giles and Willow to his right, Dawn and Buffy to his left. Spike took up the foot of the table, smirking as he sat. Xander paused, realizing just how right it looked, Spike in that spot. At last, he sat as well, offering the carving fork and knife to Giles.
“Giles, would you like to do the honors?” He asked, taking delight at the expression on the older man’s face.
“Are you sure, Xander? I mean, this is your home, I really think you should do it.” Giles said, taking the procured instruments anyway.
“Giles, I’ll be honest with you. Ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of having a beautiful house and huge meals at Christmas time. Back then, I wanted my father to be there for the meal, to do this. Was important to me. Still is, that’s why I want you to do it.”
Giles stretched one hand out, grasping Xander’s wrist, a smile on his lips and tears in his eyes. He simply nodded, and proceeded to cut and serve everyone.
The group feasted, chattering wildly and loudly about how beautiful and delicious everything was. They grew into the normal pattern of sharing Christmas horror stories, memories and laughter filling the large house with the ease of age-old friends. More than once, Xander looked up from his plate to find Spike staring at him, smiling like a fool, his eyes sparkling in the light of the chandelier and the Yule candles on the table. More than twice, he found himself doing the same thing. More than three times he never wanted anything to change, to just be able to live this night for the rest of his life, knowing that Spike was there, was his, returned to him.
The feast was coming to an end, after dinner tea being served with delicious cherry and apple pies, when Xander was struck by an idea that became very important to him.
“Not to sound too yuppie, but I’d like to make a toast.” He said, standing and raising his full glass of Chardonnay. The rest of the group followed suit, smiles and love and belonging adorning the face of everyone.
“Geeze, Xander, get all grown-uppy, why don’t you? Make me feel old.” Buffy teased. Everyone else laughed at the pure simplicity of the buffyism, loving the familiarity.
“Anyway,” Xander began, glaring bemusedly at Buffy. “I just want to say how great it’s been having you guys here. I’m really glad you guys came. First time in a long time it’s actually felt like Christmas to me.” Xander paused his strolling gaze, catching Spike’s eyes once more, grinning stupidly at the warm fuzzies it gave him. “I know we’ve been apart a long time, now that we’ve all got our own things going down. But I’d like to say that you’re all welcome here, anytime. I’ve missed you guys, and I would love for you all to come back and do this every year from now on. Because this is what Scooby power is all about.”
“To the Scoobies!” Willow belted out.
“To the Scoobies!” Everyone echoed, taking drinks of tea, water, wine, blood.
As Xander began to sit, he was struck by one more thought.
“One more thing.” He scowled as everyone moaned, but continued anyway. “I just want to say that I know we’ve all lost people in our time on the Hellmouth, and we all know what it’s like. Tara, Ms. Calendar, Anya, Joyce…Angel. We all know the hell we’ve been through, and I think we’ve come out pretty good all things considered. I think we should use the time we have to remember those we lost because, really, we wouldn’t be here without them. So I toast to those we’ve lost and will forever love, in acceptance, in remembrance, and in hope that one day, far in the distant future, we’ll see them again.”
No one spoke, but everyone had tears in their eyes as they raised their glasses silently to those that had fallen so early in their lives. For many moments, it seemed as if the party had been crashed by some demon or other. But soon enough the clatter of dishes and chatter of laughter filled the house once more as they all helped to clear the table and clean the dishes.
Xander was carrying the tray on which the very meatless ham bone was placed, when he felt a tap on the shoulder. He began to turn, only to have strong arms wrap around him, Spike’s chin nestling sweetly on Xander’s shoulder.
“Was beautiful, pet. Thank you, love.” Spike tilted his head and placed a lingering kiss upon Xander’s cheek.
“Thanks.” Xander tilted his head as well, and their lips met for a brief but sweet kiss.
“So, pet, never gave me an answer to my question.”
“Which was…?”
“Are you happy?”
“Simple answer…yes.” Xander said, leaning fully on his vampire.
“Good.”
“Merry Christmas, Spike.”
“Merry Christmas, Xander.” Spike said, his arms hugging just a little bit tighter.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Thanks so much, I was really kind of nervous about this fic, and it was begrueling every step of the way. But now, I'm happy about it! *g*
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It really was good, you have no reason to worry. I was sniffling at the sad parts and everything.
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Aww, shucks, ya make me feel like I'm good;)
Thanks so much! *beams*
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Which was NOT schmoopy.
*hee*
But the bed-cuddling was.
*clickity*
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Thanks, hun. *huge hugs* My ledge talker-offer.
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Visual aide?
Do tell.
*smirk*
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Do tell.
I could, but then I'd have to
killburry you:)From:
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Heee. Reet, then.
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For some reason i thought there was a part four!
*is a dork*
*bounce*
Schweet xmas schmoop, gettin' me all in the mood for...schmoop!!
Hee.
*bounce*
Sweet stuff, bay-bee.
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Thanks, hon:) *big hugs again*
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Now stop with the author-angst!
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Well, maybe a little.
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I liked it. Good story. Happy ending. Thank you. I like happy endings.
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Toasted pineapples are a family tradition for my family. Every year, my mom hunts down a fresh pineapple, slices it and toasts the slices on the grill. Absolutely delicious. That was kind of a RL influence in the story, I spose:)
Heh. I lurve happy endings. I think I've only written one so far without a happy ending, and that's being sequeled as we speak.
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Great fic!!
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