Such a fucking loser.

[synapticjava]

So tonight I started getting depressed, so I turned to the age-old tradition of shopping. Bout a whole new outfit - two new pin stripe button ups, new pair of jeans and a nice brown sweater, a new CD and White Christmas. Tomorrow, the jeans and sweater are going back - way too expensive and they make me look even fatter.

Anyway, needless to say the mood has not lifted. I am so fucking tired, but I don't feel like crawling in bed and tossing and turning for six hours trying to fall asleep again, and I really don't want to take any sleeping pills. Maybe I'll go and work on the fic I'm writing. BTW for those that care, WB should be out soon.

God I fucking hate this. I'm not good at anything and nothing goes the way I want it to. Why can't I be done with school now, be out on my own and leave all this fucking shit behind me. Fuck, sometimes I wish I could just start over. There's a damn reset button on everything else.

Comments

[suki-blue.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I think a reset button would be nice. But mostly i'm glad things are the way they are, i am grateful for the bad stuff, it has made me into the person i am today. Ok so i fucked up my education good and proper, but hey, i got a nice job that pays quite nicely. And yeah I just wasted 10 ten years of my life with the same bloke and only now now do i realise that it wasn't love. And yeah, my parents abandoned me as a child, i wasn't wanted, blah, blah, i really could go on and on, my life is quite the sob story, it never went the way i wanted it to. But I wouldn't change it.

School will be over before you know it, *beleive me*. I know I don't really know you, but I just hate to hear you put yourslf down. You are *not* a loser. There is no such thing.

~hugs you better~

Suki
xxx

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon!

Actually about a thousand percent better now, but thanks for thinking of me:)