Starting

Starting to get better.  This morning I woke up, and he wasn't the first thing I thought of.  Kind of a big step.

We did get into a fight yesterday, which was kind of nice actually.  It allowed us both to vent a little frustration, I think.  Then last night we kind of hung out and talked - but only because he's out of money and can't afford to go anywhere ( doesn't really make me feel any better).  I'm gonna give it a couple more days before I try to actually talk to him - there's something wrong, and he's not talking to anyone.  Russ says he's a completely different person at work, and I know he is for the few minutes he's here.  Chelle's pissed at him for the way he's been treating me and acting around me.  She says he has no right to be an ass because a)he broke up with me, b)I don't really have anyone here besides him and her, yet, to talk to and it's not fair, and c)she likes me more.  Which, not to sound bitter, but it's kind of nice ;)

We're still doing a housewarming/open house, the weekend after the 4th.  I do plan on vetoing inviting Troy (I think I have that right), and cornering a couple of his friends if I don't see them before this - the friends that were supposed to also be friends with me.  Maybe not the best idea, but it really kind of ticks me off that they won't even speak to me.

Gonna run now, though.  Me and Chelle are taking the kids to Lafayette today.  I do think it's really cool that her kids love me so much.

There's a lot of things I believed in

Spent the day in Lafayette with Chelle and the kids. We went to CiCi's pizza (pizza buffet. mmmmm), then took Evan to this really cool park they have, and went for a walk in the mall. Got me some sun and fun with the kids. Flirted with by the cookie guy at the mall. Mistaken for the kids' father. All in all, not a bad way to spend my day off.

I decided it was time to talk to Frank about the way things have around here the last week, and pretty much let him know exactly how I felt. We had a pretty long talk - awkward at times, frustrating at others, and all together a new experience for me. It was really difficult to tell him all of the things I needed to - how I've been feeling about our relationship and feeling lik I was used, how alone I've been feeling, and how angry the whole situation has been making me. But I did it. We fought for a bit, and things got kinda nasty and harsh. But we talked it out. The roomate thing should get easier. I don't know that the friend part will - that's one of the things we talked a lot about (he says I make him uncomfortable sometimes with effeminate I can be). We're friends, but in the sense that we know eachother and don't dislike each other. But he has doubts we can ever be close friends, which gives me doubts about wanting to be close.

Either way, I have a definite answer to where I stand and I feel like I'm in a more solid place. Things are getting better, feeling better. Kinda nice to start back on the upward swing.