synapticjava: (driving)
( Dec. 21st, 2005 02:27 am)
Brokeback Mountain - Here there be potential spoilers )
synapticjava: (wings)
( Dec. 21st, 2005 01:20 pm)
Went down to get the mail and take the trash out. All week long I've been checking it and getting nothing.

Today I got all my bills in one lump sum.

*feels very Charlie Brownish*

hmph.
This doesn't often happen to me.

Today, I was cleaning my apartment and getting some stuff put away (clothes, mostly, but some keepsakes I've been meaning to clear out). As I was cleaning, I was dancing and jamming to music - Some remixes I burned, and then Aqua, which I only listen to when I'm in a really good mood - and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. In one hand, a rag, in another hand, Pledge. And on my face, one of the biggest smiles of all time. And, rather than avoid looking at myself like I usually do, I looked at myself. Like, really looked. Bandana on my head, yellow rubber gloves, baggy jeans, and an old ratty t-shirt.

And I realized - I look good. Not just good, beautiful. I'm not fat, or ugly, or gross to look at. I am me. And, more importantly, I like me. I think it was the smile that I didn't really realize I had. That is, I felt it before I noticed it. That was a few hours ago, and still I feel amazing. I can't really explain or describe it, other than to say that I feel encredibly free right now, and like so much crap and BS has just evaporated.

Of course, now the trick is to remember this for when the crap starts piling up again. Because it will - it always does. If I start going all boo-hooey, someone cyber-slap me and point me to this post, will you?
.

Profile

synapticjava: (Default)
synapticjava

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags