Alright, it's about time I did this.

[synapticjava]

Alright. I'm going to put this behind a cut for the benefit of all my other LJ Friends. But I really want all of the Barat people to read it. In fact, I think it would be better for everyone if they did, that way there's no misunderstandings. And no problems in the future.


First and foremost, I'm not posting this to piss a bunch of people off. That's not the purpose of me posting anything. However, I feel like I've been backed into a corner, and I hope after this you can understand why and respect that.

My livejournal is my venting place. It is where I post my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. I do this here because (before) I could do it annonymously. I have lots of LJ friends that I've never met and probably will never meet. That only serves to boost my confidence. When I post something on LJ I know that people aren't going to freak out at me for saying something they don't like. LJ has been very theraputic in that sense because in real life I am bound by descrepencies, shyness, and the tendency to be a pushover. LJ was my last place of freedom. On here I can be the person I am and want to be without worrying what people with think of me. I can post about the people in my life without worrying about whether they will find out what I think of them or how I feel about them or their goings-on at that moment. This is one reason I choose not to have my journal friend's only. I think it defeats the purpose, at least for me. That's not to say that I don't occaisionally lock a post for whatever reason. But for the most part, I believe in, at least here, just letting it all hang out. And there is nothing wrong with that.

I think that I should have the right to speak freely. Granted, I don't feel like I can outside of this screen and this keyboard. That's why LJ is truly important to me. It is the one place in the world where I can be myself without being attacked by people who do not understand me and do not take in everything I have to offer. And sure enough, I can see it starting to happen.

The fact that I like most of you individually and consider a lot of you friends doesn't mean that there aren't times where I can't stand to be around you or I am upset with you. I am a person with feelings, and I reserve the right to be irrational and sporadic in my thoughts and feelings just like anyone else. And this is where the problem comes in.

When I found out a bunch of Barat people were being converted to LJ, though for a good reason, I could forsee this happening. I once again, in the only place I am comfortable to do so, feel as if I cannot be myself or speak my mind. That is incredibly unfair to and difficult for me. Therefore, I have made the decision to speak my mind, regardless of whether or not the people I am speaking of are reading this. My LJ will be as it always has been - my sounding board. I will post my thoughts and feelings on everything, as I have always done. I think I deserve this.

If you are going to be reading my journal, and friend it and everything, you need to understand this. You need to know that here I am myself. These are my private and personal thoughts that I have posted publicly for complete and total strangers to gawk at. When I created my livejournal, that was the purpose and up until the last couple weeks, always has been. And so now I will again go back to that. Here's where you come in. If there is something that you read or see that you do not like - good for you. Understand that it is how I am feeling, and respect that. Do not comment on things you find offensive because you probably don't entirely understand it. And even if you do, they are my thoughts and feelings and I can think and feel what I want, offensive or not.

Please keep this in mind when you are reading this journal. I really think that if you have taken offense to this you should unfriend me now. And keep it in mind for future reference. Thank you.

Comments

[cryptic-design.livejournal.com]

You know, I had a problem like this when I first starting posting in LJ, so I totally get what you are saying. As always, I admire you for you straight-forwardness and I also feel that what you are saying is correct.

LJ is a place to vent your frustration and everythink like that. It's just like a normal journal, only more public. However, as you said, it shouldn't matter. It is YOUR journal and you will write what you will and people can like or they won't and as you stated, thats there problem.

You have the right to post whatever you want here and I for one, am glad that LJ was created and that there is a place for me to vent my frustrations. God knows I would probably be dead if it wasn't for LJ.

You are truly an inspiration!

Hugs * Kisses * and all that other stuff

~*Kevin aka Punkiboi*~

Awww

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

You're too sweet to me =P.

And all those things are what I was saying, summed up. Hehe. Hehe, I'm no inspiration. I'm just a guy. With a large cock heart ;D. I just don't want people to read my journal with the false impression that I sugar-coat things. Because I try not to.

*hugs*

Re: Awww

[cryptic-design.livejournal.com]

Which is the best possible thing that you could do. I comend you for that. :)

I know you have a big heart, in the short time that I have known you, you have proven that time and again.

Anyways, your a sweetie pie Brad hun! And just remember, no matter what you say or do, I will never leave or disfriend you... Unless you do something really bad, like say I have bad hair... HAHA!

*hugs & toodles*

Re: Awww

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Alright. Now you're just trying to make me blush. Hehe. Too nice:P *huge hug* Oh, and, toddles?

[amarantabuendia.livejournal.com]

i think i'm going to take you off my friends page. no offense, but it seems as if you prefer anonymity, which is totally cool. i see you every day anyway.

Cool

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean for anyone to do that, just to understand where I was coming from ya know? But thanks for understanding =P You do understand, don't you? hehe.

[coriandre.livejournal.com]

Hey kiddo -- I am sure of it that everyone has found you on my friends page. I'll take responsibility for being the center by which everyone has found your livejournal but please be aware that I never told anyone to friend you or read your posts. I will not be unfriending you because I value your entries. I love your candidness here. I think your statements are important for all parties involved. My posts are similar. I don't hold back outside of livejournal though. If there is something I can do let me know. I would be honoured to oblige.

With sincerest love.

Thanks

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

It wasn't my intention at all for people to defriend me. It's totally cool that so many people want to view and read and friend my journal. You're at no fault. I just wanted there to be an understanding and a respect for my words and my thoughts. Because this is the only place where I get to share them. I just wanted people to know that the things I post here are *my* words and *my* thoughts. Because I feel that so many people attack me or just don't listen to me in real life, this has become my psuedo-sanctuary for my ideas and my feelings. I just wanted to make sure that people knew that. I don't want people to be offended by what I say. But on the flip side, because this is my personal stuff, I guess to put it bluntly I don't care if people are offended. You know what I mean?

Re: Hi it's Jess Fisher

[iska27.livejournal.com]

hey brad,
I just wanted to let you know that I was here and I would love to have you on my friends list and if you would like to add me that would be groovy!

Re: Hi it's Jess Fisher

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Cool go right ahead.

Re: Thanks

[coriandre.livejournal.com]

Gotcha!

Re: Thanks

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Coolness.

tatally

[woodboxgang.livejournal.com]

dude, youre totally right. im new here, and could be one of those people that youre talking about, but i dont give a shit if you talk about me, or my friends. i mean, thats what this shits for right? besides, i love hearing what people think about others, most of all me. hehe. but that doesnt mean that i will change anything about myself. but thats whats so great about it. i dont have to. everyone gets their own opinion, and youre right, if they dont like what you have to say, its better for both parties if they just didnt read what you have to say.

but i must say that its really fuckin cool that we, here at barat, get to know each other in a social setting, and then get back to the computer and read what everyone is really thinking.

so bradley, if you wanna talk about me on your livejournal, go fuckin nuts. ill probably laugh, and maybe even learn something new. peace

Re: tatally

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Thanks man. Glad a couple people understand hehe. Nah, I don't really have a problem with anyone. I just wanted people to have that understanding.

BTW, got any booze? hehe. I had some fun the other night hanging out with you guys.

cheers

[scottrossi.livejournal.com]

cheers to you. i feel the same thing. lj=sanity in an insane world. lj=therapy for a stressful scott. lj=friend.

sound off and dont give a shit what others think. my attitude on what i post is officially that i don't give a fuck. i dont give a fuck about shit. however i do post things and pics behind lj cuts or behind links out of respect for those who have me on their friends lists, as some of them have slow computers. i didnt always do that, but i do now, that is the only way in which i censor myself here. although particularly private or sensitive stuff goes in my written journal.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

Applause applause!!!

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

*g*

Thanks!

[tabaqui]

Hey!!
:)
*hugs*

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

*hugs* thanks, hon.

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

Hi! Just came across this and wanted to say that. Not exciting but there's so much about you I didn't know and thanks for giving us all an insight into your thoughts and feelings. I don't really understand the probs you had before but I hope you feel you now have a safe haven. It sucks to feel you're not accepted, for whatever reason.

And, here's me, late to the party again. *rolls eyes*

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Hee! Hi:)

Oh, main problems were RL people reading my LJ and getting all huffy about what I wrote, some of it about them. Well they have to options: deal, or don't read, you know?

Welcome! Got some fruit punch over there, and some tostitos and popcorn balls over by the nekkid statue of Spike and Xander:)

[sin-of-pride.livejournal.com]

Hey :) Okay, you don't know me at all, but I stumbled upon this post by accident, mostly because I wandered off from the bloodclaim community after one comment you posted there. Just wanted to let you know I was looking at your journal (gorgeous layout, btw) and I completely understand where you're coming from with this. As a matter of fact, the main reason I write in here is because my friends speak Spanish and it's awfully difficult that they'd be able to find this and read my real thoughts, and my real feelings. Mostly RL friends don't want to, and don't really have to deal with some of most personal issues we all have. You shouldn't have to give up your right to express yourself, or even hide how you feel about people. If they want to read, let them, it doesn't really matter because they have no right to dictate the way you should feel.

Okay, moral support stand over, hope you don't think it's too weird coming from a stranger *Grin*

Hugs,
Yours Truly

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for the layout comp!

Heh, nope, not too wierd and thanks for stopping by:) You'd be suprised by how many random people wander through :D