Hyper Little Thoughts

Oh my goodness.

I finally caught up on ALL my livejournal comments. I'm finished! My Livejournal filtered inbox is EMPTY!

*collapses from weariness*

Another great song by Ryan Adams. smooches to lunabee34 for turning me onto him:)

Before I forget, I want to post a link to the front page article of last week's Chicago Reader. All of you slashers out there - look! It's healthy!!! I'm suprised, even if it is the Reader, that they had a FRONT PAGE article about Slash. I'm not all that happy that it's LotR and not BtVS, but hey, I'll take what I can get. How neat.

I finished my History paper, and I can honestly say that it is without a doubt the *WORST* paper I've ever written. The thesis is weak, the evidence is included but not supportive or analyzed, and the conclusion is to the effect of "so there that is. the end." I'm not expecting rave reviews. But I fulfilled at least some of the paper requirements - that's got to be worth something, right? What makes me sad and a teeny bit worried is that I don't care. Just like I didn't care that I walked into that midterm - I didn't even feel my pulse quicken, and that's odd.

*GAWKS* I'm looking at my tuition account right now - remember that I haven't paid for anything yet. It's telling me that for the quarter, I only owe $1, 240. Which, theoretically, the loan that I have to take out would be for about $6000. Which sounds almost right, but something is nagging at me and telling me that's soooooo wrong. Looks like I'm making a trip to Student Accounts tomorrow to get it straigtened out. We start registering next week. EEP! First quarter is ending soon, and I'm scared shitless. If the rest of this year goes by as fast as this quarter has, I'm fucked with a capitol F. I have no savings, no plans, no prospects, and no idea what the fuck I want to do.

Ah, life. Waits till you're down and then kicks you in the head.

Good times.

Oh ye gods in heaven, how I weep in wearyness and praise at your feet.

Er, something like that.

I just finished desiginging the web survey for my research study. That was one of the most tedius sets of three hours in my life. But now it's done. It's really truly finished. All that's left is to slap a consent form on the sucker and publish it to the web, pending IRB approval of course. And then I'm going to need all of *your* help, but I'll talk more about that later. Right now I'm going to go reply to LJ comments instead of finishing the IRB form like I should be doing.

Also, next week I get my research assistant. I get a research assistant, like, get to be in *charge*. I'm thinking starbucks and a shoeshine, neh?

See, just about any student I know has a recurring nightmare about walking into class one day and finding out that there's a major exam. Hypothetically speaking, a midterm. In a class that said student has, hypothetically, only attended three times in four weeks and has never read the required chapters.

Said student would be...me. Oops.

I walked into my Abnormal Psychology class only to find out that the midterm is *today*, not next week like I thought. And being the big procrasonator that I am, I haven't done the reading because I figured I still had a week to do it. So basically, I've attended a total of three out of eight lectures and read only the introductory chapter of the textbook. Luckily, the entire exam consisted of 50 multiple choice questions basically covering information we mostly learned in Intro.

I figure there's one of three possible outcomes for this scenario. 1: I was brilliant and aced it, 2: I was a bastard and failed it, or 3: I got a solid C. Though I'm hoping for the first, I'm almost positive it was the second. I mean, there were a bunch of questions any moron who has half a mind a shred of common sense should have known. Like: Who is considered the founder of psychoanalysis? Come on, now. But then there were other questions like: Somatigensis was a result of: WTF?

In short, Oops.

Why yes, it is an appocalypse. Actually I'm just trying to make sure no one forgets me ;)

Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 11/?
Author: chocgood84
Rating: NC-17 for brief violence and sexual content
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Author’s Note: Yes, I am aware that the timeline is a little screwed up and that Giles didn’t own the Magic Box until after Adam and after Dawn arrived. But in my reality, who’s Dawn? Adam what? Also, a huge spanking thanks to kitty_poker1 for being my official L2BL beta.
Disclaimer: These character’s aren’t mine, never were; I don’t get any profit for this hobby, so don’t sue – Thanks.
Warning: Brief violence, nudity, and hetero and homo sexual content and situations. And some h0t man-luvin.

( Chapter 11 )

Or why I should just stop trying.

Last night was the Gentry party - the party I've been looking forward to for weeks.

I was going to post a long and involved entry about why I'm upset, but I'm going to sum it up really easily: I don't like it when people pretend to be my friends. And I especially don't like when I'm treated the way I was last night, and furthermore if that's how my friends are going to be...maybe I need some new ones.


On the other side of the coin, I got to talk to Kierre last night, and I realized just how *much* I miss having someone to talk to like that. No holds barred, no judgement, just caring and support and someone who generally cares about what's going on in my life. I really wish she'd move to the city.

And now I have to return to schoolwork and RL. RL bites.

I cannot stop listening to this song. I never really paid attention to the lyrics until I heard it sung by John Jones a couple weeks ago. It really is a gay man's anthem. I mean, isn't that where we all wrong? Got into a car with a boy and then it all went to hell.

Last night I worked on the South Side of Chicago. I wandered around for an hour and a half trying to find the place. As in, WALKING. In the SOUTH SIDE. I was not pleased. The one thing I learned yesterday is that there's lots of places to stash dead bodies that no one will EVER know. Needless to say, I've put my foot down and said I won't work that venue anymore.

After work I stopped into the bar for a drink (okay, two drinks) and talked with Fernando for a bit. Arben, the other bartender/cocktailer came in a little while after I got there. Me and Arben have always been cool, but we've never hung out or talked as much as I do with Fernando. Fernando and he are really good friends, though. And He's always been really sweet to me. Anyway, he came in dressed in jeans, a tank, and a trucker's hat. I made fun of him for a bit. He bought me a drink, and his boyfriend came in. They'd been moving all day, so Arben was telling me the tale of the big move. They're moving in together, so last night they were kind of squabling and whatnot. It was so adorable. And it hurt, just a *little* bit that for the moment, I can't have that. Not in the "no one likes me" kind of way but in the "I SO can't focus or commit to that right now" kind of way. But at least I can see that it's my decision. The truth is, as far as I'm concerned, I've never looked as good as I do right now. (Well, not right *now* because I'm on my way to work, but you get the drift). Nor have I been in such a positive mood about things.

I'm going home in a couple weeks. A week from Thursday I'll be headed back towards the good old QC's for a weekend filled with family, new puppies (they got a new dog), and lots of yummy food I can only get there. I need to get out of the city for a few days, anyway. Now I see why people say that. Because all city all the time can be a bit...much sometimes. There's a few decisions I'm in the process of making that I can't quite wrap my head around. Don't want to talk about them right now, but I will in time.

Okay, I'm going to be late for work. Lata.

P.S. look for more L2bL sometime this week (hopefully!).

No, I didn't flunk anything, was just getting everyone's attention:) Don't know why - nothing important going on. However, I am an ev0l bad awful terrible student. I skipped abnormal psych again. But I was falling asleep in History & Systems and I *like* that class, imagine what would have happened in a class I don't like. And I'm a big proponent for the belief that if you're only going to piss off or disrespect the teacher by not paying attention, you might as well not show up. Unfortunetely, she disagrees - she counts attendance. *rolls eyes* What am I, 12?

I don't want to say it because next week it's going to be 80 degrees again, but today actually feels like the official beginning of fall. I'm wearing my favorite light jacket, and my favorite waffle-nit long-sleeve and my tight-esque jeans. I love fall because of the wardrobe options - I am a mo afterall. I just love it. That nip in the air, everyone walking around just a bit faster. People outside huttling together to smoke. No skanky whores wearing headbands as miniskirts, no boobs in my face. Yes, I like this season. I also put up my Halloween decorations:) So, yay.

I can't believe it's thursday already. This weekend is going to go super fast too. I've got over 1000 things to do, and I'm not even scheduled to work yet. *sigh* A Pauper student's work is never done, I guess.

But first I want to say - even though I don't have time to comment and *barely* have time to read, everyone should check out amejesuto's Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me, and tabaqui's Under the Mountain. They're both bloody brilliant, and I love them so (the stories *and* the authors, so good for me, eh?). They're excellent stories, and if you're a true spander lover - go now!

Okay, tonight's the big night: the anniversary party. I'm hanging out before class right now, but I ran home earlier to get everything ready. My outifit is pressed, but not too much, and ready to wear. Shoes are clean and polished. And accessories are laid out. I think that's everything.

Fernando called earlier to make sure I was going to be there and to tell me it's going to be a lot of fun. I'm super excited. I already took my first class tomorrow off my schedule - not because I'm *planning* to get drunk, but it's better to be prepared, and drunk or no - it'll still be a late night.

Oh, also - I made $100 in tips this weeked. Gods, but I love bartending. It's times like that when I actually *don't* hate my job.

Alright, I need to go. Got 20 minutes till class and still 30 pages to read (yeah, that'll happen).

I'm taking my camera tonight, so if I remember, I'll get a pic of myself and Fernando:)

nite all