Yay! Ohhh...
Ouch, my head.
Yay, my internet is back.
Oh, my head.
Stupid Red Headed Sluts
Yay, my internet is back.
Oh, my head.
Stupid Red Headed Sluts
Dayum
I just got home from going out to Gentry. Wound up totally making out with Fernando's roomate again - Mikey. We talked about the last time, and he told me that he thinks i'm really hot and gorgeous.
We wound up making out on Halstead Street (the main road in gaytown, Illinois), where multiple people told us to "get a room". Nando had a date tonight, everyone else was flying solo tonight. So I fiigured "wny not?".
T'was fun. Will post more tomorrow when I'm sober.
he's coming to see me @ work tomorrow night!
We wound up making out on Halstead Street (the main road in gaytown, Illinois), where multiple people told us to "get a room". Nando had a date tonight, everyone else was flying solo tonight. So I fiigured "wny not?".
T'was fun. Will post more tomorrow when I'm sober.
he's coming to see me @ work tomorrow night!
Angst!athon
So, yesterday I splurged and bought new headphones for my mp3 player - I broke the old set on New Year's Eve, along with four new DVDs to amuse myself with. I watched two of them yesterday, and two today. The first one was Jawbreakers - It's totally stupid and campy and tragically bad, but I love that movie. The other three were movies I'd heard really good things about but had never gotten around to seeing them. Rules of Attraction, Hanging Up, and Forces of Nature. All three were deliciously enjoyable. Rules of Attraction reminded me so much Barat, what with the parties and wh0ring. That was just a beautiful, if not wrist-slittingly depressing, movie. Hanging Up I watched first today. I love all of the actresses in it, and they all did a really good job with it. That movie, too, was mostly depressing. Then I watched Forces of Nature with Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck - both of whom, I really like. Also a movie with sad undercurrents. WTF? All of them were really good movies, and I'm glad I bought them (they were in the clearance bins), but what the hell? Looking at my DVD rack, which is overflowing now, a good 90% are angst!films. Requiem for a Dream, Donnie Darko, Muhulland Drive, Final Cut, Angels in America, Gattaca, The Talanted Mr. Ripley, American Psycho, and that's just a small fraction. And don't forget the box sets - Buffy, Firefly, Matrix, Angel, Moulin Rouge, Romeo & Juliet. Apparently, I'm a glutton for angst (not that you could ever know that by reading my fic *rolls eyes*.
Which could possibly do well to explain the mood I'm in at the moment. hmph.
Ah well, Matt just called. We're meeting for drinks. And he's mad that I'm mad that he's dating this guy. This should go well, I think.
Which could possibly do well to explain the mood I'm in at the moment. hmph.
Ah well, Matt just called. We're meeting for drinks. And he's mad that I'm mad that he's dating this guy. This should go well, I think.
Feeling like crap
Don't know why, just am.
a) My internet is still out in my apt.
b) Having a totaly bad fat day. More like a "FUGLY AS SHIT" day.
c) Started working out again. Did an hour and a half at the gym yesterday. Go, me. My goal is 25lbs/4" by graduation.
d) Matt's dating that Jeff guy (aka Mr. $.50 tip), and didn't tell me. I'm not amused.
e) It's snowing. And cold. If I could have the snow but not the cold, I'd be happy...er.
f) I finally found this song - I've been looking for it for months. My mp3 player is happy now. As is my brain.
g) Went to bed early last night, but still am tired. Also does not amuse.
h) Hot Walgreens clerk asked for my number this morning. Cool.
i) I'm going home now. To watch movies, smoke cigarettes, drink water, and...I don't know what.
a) My internet is still out in my apt.
b) Having a totaly bad fat day. More like a "FUGLY AS SHIT" day.
c) Started working out again. Did an hour and a half at the gym yesterday. Go, me. My goal is 25lbs/4" by graduation.
d) Matt's dating that Jeff guy (aka Mr. $.50 tip), and didn't tell me. I'm not amused.
e) It's snowing. And cold. If I could have the snow but not the cold, I'd be happy...er.
f) I finally found this song - I've been looking for it for months. My mp3 player is happy now. As is my brain.
g) Went to bed early last night, but still am tired. Also does not amuse.
h) Hot Walgreens clerk asked for my number this morning. Cool.
i) I'm going home now. To watch movies, smoke cigarettes, drink water, and...I don't know what.
pleasent surprise
The rest of the day turned out not to be too bad at all.
Went to Human Sexuality where I managed to royally piss off the professor, which is always fun for me. Funnier still is that he doesn't even know my name, so it's not like he can dock me. hehe. Sometimes, a large university has its perks. After that, me and Jenny went to lunch and had a bawl chatting and joking around. I wound up missing the time and completely forgot about my Social Justice class at 1:00. I checked my email before Queer Theory class tonight, and the professor had emailed to say class had been cancelled. So, yay. Thank god for the flu, eh?
Then tonight in my Queer Theory class I was on fire. I'm actually getting this theory stuff, and I'm kind of liking it. At the end of the night, we got our papers back. I got an A fucking plus. Not that I'm all that suprised - it's not terrible difficult to do well on a Bradshaw paper. But still! An A+!!! On a paper written about Theory! Foucault, even! Her comment read "You get it! You really really get it!" Hee.
And now I'm going out to celebrate. Because I can, and want to. And also because I finished my reading for tomorrow earlier today so I'm off the hook for homework tonight.
Hmm...a good monday? Yeah, we'll say so. So, so far, that's Two A papers and one B+ midterm. I'll find out my other two midterm grades (I'm expecting a C in history and an F in SJ) Wednesday or Friday.
Went to Human Sexuality where I managed to royally piss off the professor, which is always fun for me. Funnier still is that he doesn't even know my name, so it's not like he can dock me. hehe. Sometimes, a large university has its perks. After that, me and Jenny went to lunch and had a bawl chatting and joking around. I wound up missing the time and completely forgot about my Social Justice class at 1:00. I checked my email before Queer Theory class tonight, and the professor had emailed to say class had been cancelled. So, yay. Thank god for the flu, eh?
Then tonight in my Queer Theory class I was on fire. I'm actually getting this theory stuff, and I'm kind of liking it. At the end of the night, we got our papers back. I got an A fucking plus. Not that I'm all that suprised - it's not terrible difficult to do well on a Bradshaw paper. But still! An A+!!! On a paper written about Theory! Foucault, even! Her comment read "You get it! You really really get it!" Hee.
And now I'm going out to celebrate. Because I can, and want to. And also because I finished my reading for tomorrow earlier today so I'm off the hook for homework tonight.
Hmm...a good monday? Yeah, we'll say so. So, so far, that's Two A papers and one B+ midterm. I'll find out my other two midterm grades (I'm expecting a C in history and an F in SJ) Wednesday or Friday.
Learn to be Lonely 17/?
*gasp*
What's this? An update!?
Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 17/ ?
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,kittypoker1.
Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
( The long-awaited, but much shorter, Chapter 17! )
What's this? An update!?
Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 17/ ?
Author:
chocgood84Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,
kittypoker1.Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
( The long-awaited, but much shorter, Chapter 17! )
*kills monday*
I have only been awake for one hour, and it's already a bad day. I went out with Nando after work last night for a couple drinks. By the time I got home, it was 4am. Then I had to be awake at 8:30 this morning so I could haul ass to class. Which I did, amazingly. I even stopped to by aspirin, tums, red bull, water, and eye drops at Walgreens on the way. And still made it to my classroom with 10 minutes to spare. I almost ran over two people and narrowly avoided dying about 12 times to get here, but I did it. Only, I get there, and there's a bright orange piece of paper saying "Cancelled".
*glares*
The silver lining, though - no class!
*glares*
The silver lining, though - no class!
Only smoke and ashes, baby
Well, I got the dishes done, after two weeks of eating with plastic forks of paper napkins. And read one of my five articles for Intro, due tuesday. Haven't even opened a book or pretended to clean the apartment (as in, move stuff around). Mostly just been sitting here, listlessly cruising the net.
Got a call from Food for Thought, the first catering company I worked for. Haven't heard from them since Thanksgiving. Sue, who's working in staffing now, wanted to know if everything was okay because no one's heard from me. I filled her in on the B.J. situation. She sounded suprised, because all of the supervisors love me (well, except maybe one), and so do the higher-ups. She's going to look into it, but she pretty much said she'd make sure they start calling me for work. She gave me 4 days in May. At this point in the game, I really don't care all that much, but I guess it was kind of nice to know someone thought about me.
I think I'm going to make something to eat, and watch Sleeping Beauty. Maybe it'll make me feel a little better. I've been in a funk all afternoon, and I can't shake it. I'm definetely going out tonight. I really shouldn't spend the money, because it's bad enough to be at the point of "Do I want to eat for the rest of the month, or do I want to drink for one night?". But, I don't care. I just don't. Fuck it.
All of it.
Got a call from Food for Thought, the first catering company I worked for. Haven't heard from them since Thanksgiving. Sue, who's working in staffing now, wanted to know if everything was okay because no one's heard from me. I filled her in on the B.J. situation. She sounded suprised, because all of the supervisors love me (well, except maybe one), and so do the higher-ups. She's going to look into it, but she pretty much said she'd make sure they start calling me for work. She gave me 4 days in May. At this point in the game, I really don't care all that much, but I guess it was kind of nice to know someone thought about me.
I think I'm going to make something to eat, and watch Sleeping Beauty. Maybe it'll make me feel a little better. I've been in a funk all afternoon, and I can't shake it. I'm definetely going out tonight. I really shouldn't spend the money, because it's bad enough to be at the point of "Do I want to eat for the rest of the month, or do I want to drink for one night?". But, I don't care. I just don't. Fuck it.
All of it.
Till then I'm living with hope...
New Layout. Mostly just changed the background and the colors. But, I likes it.
The weather today is kind of crappy. I like it. It matches my mood. It's all grey and cold and wet. Not that I'm wet, nor grey for that matter, but you get the idea. It's that time of the month again - no, not that time, because that would be wierd. No, it's the time where I start worrying about whether or not I'll be able to make it through the month without having to wh0re myself out to pay rent and bills. Rent is taken care of, but the bills...that's another story. I have enough to pay either my credit card bill, or my cell phone & electiricty of bills. And since I didn't pay the electric last month, I'm thinking I should do that this month. Hmm. Maybe I'll get lucky and tomorrow I'll make a shitton of money and all my money problems will go away.
Although, I do have to say one thing more about it. Last night, Matt brought the new guy he's dating into Gentry, and I waited on them so Matt could introduce us. The guy paid for their drinks with a $100 bill, and gave me a $.50 tip. $0.50. I was not amused. And I told Matt as such as they were leaving. I'm a strong strong believer in that people show their character by how they tip and/or treat servers. It comes from working in the industry for (eeghads!) 6 years. And this guy - is not good. But whatever; Matt doesn't take my advice on guys.
I think I might have to go out for a drink tonight, but I'm not sure. Don't really feel like dealing with a few people should I happen to run into them. But then again, who says I have to deal with them? We're all adults. *shrugs*
Need to run - got tons of crap to do, and no time to do it in. Weekend's already over half-gone, and I haven't gotten any of the work done I need to. *sigh* 126 days.
The weather today is kind of crappy. I like it. It matches my mood. It's all grey and cold and wet. Not that I'm wet, nor grey for that matter, but you get the idea. It's that time of the month again - no, not that time, because that would be wierd. No, it's the time where I start worrying about whether or not I'll be able to make it through the month without having to wh0re myself out to pay rent and bills. Rent is taken care of, but the bills...that's another story. I have enough to pay either my credit card bill, or my cell phone & electiricty of bills. And since I didn't pay the electric last month, I'm thinking I should do that this month. Hmm. Maybe I'll get lucky and tomorrow I'll make a shitton of money and all my money problems will go away.
Although, I do have to say one thing more about it. Last night, Matt brought the new guy he's dating into Gentry, and I waited on them so Matt could introduce us. The guy paid for their drinks with a $100 bill, and gave me a $.50 tip. $0.50. I was not amused. And I told Matt as such as they were leaving. I'm a strong strong believer in that people show their character by how they tip and/or treat servers. It comes from working in the industry for (eeghads!) 6 years. And this guy - is not good. But whatever; Matt doesn't take my advice on guys.
I think I might have to go out for a drink tonight, but I'm not sure. Don't really feel like dealing with a few people should I happen to run into them. But then again, who says I have to deal with them? We're all adults. *shrugs*
Need to run - got tons of crap to do, and no time to do it in. Weekend's already over half-gone, and I haven't gotten any of the work done I need to. *sigh* 126 days.
Cosmic humour
Again, with the cosmic humor. Today's horoscope:
Take care of yourself like the valuable resource that you are. While it's tempting to make like the Energizer bunny and just keep going and going and going, you need time to rest, relax and rejuvenate.
Okay, I'm off to work.
Take care of yourself like the valuable resource that you are. While it's tempting to make like the Energizer bunny and just keep going and going and going, you need time to rest, relax and rejuvenate.
Okay, I'm off to work.
Ye gods
Thank you that this week is almost over. And damn did it fly by fast or what? Ah well, just brings me one step closer to NO MORE SCHOOL. And yes, I fear that you may have to hear that every day from now until June 9th. Be afraid. Or annoyed. Whatever works.
I'm getting ready for work, where I'll be till 3 am. Then I'm gonna come home, take a cold shower, drink some redbull, and cram for my midterms tomorrow. In a perfect world - that's what would happen. But it's looking like what will probably happen is I'll come home and pass out, wake up in time to brush my teeth and get to said midterms tomorrow. And then I'm coming home and passing the hell out until I have to work tomorrow night. I've already decided that I don't care how much, or little, I make Friday night - I am going out after work. I want to get my fun on. And I haven't been out in sooooo long. I need to dance, to drink, and to be merry.
Okay. I'm out like beta.
I'm getting ready for work, where I'll be till 3 am. Then I'm gonna come home, take a cold shower, drink some redbull, and cram for my midterms tomorrow. In a perfect world - that's what would happen. But it's looking like what will probably happen is I'll come home and pass out, wake up in time to brush my teeth and get to said midterms tomorrow. And then I'm coming home and passing the hell out until I have to work tomorrow night. I've already decided that I don't care how much, or little, I make Friday night - I am going out after work. I want to get my fun on. And I haven't been out in sooooo long. I need to dance, to drink, and to be merry.
Okay. I'm out like beta.
Entry tags:
Look at this photograph
Doesn't matter how often I hear this song, I still love it.
Just got off the phone with my mom. Haven't talked to her since Christmas, and it was a really nice chat.
( cut for random family info )
All in all, it was actually a pretty nice talk. We talked about Graduation, and I asked if they were coming. She said "Of Course." It's not that I don't think they care or whatever, I just wasn't sure if they'd want to come all the way up here for a boring ceremony. So that really makes me incredibly happy. I didn't want to admit it, but I want my family to see my graduate. Then we talked about what's going to happen after graduation. She didn't put any pressure on me to come home, but she mentioned that there's always a place for me if I want or need it. And she didn't sound dissapointed when I told her that I want to stay here. We laughed about the fact I'm working at the bar I used to be a regular at. We're both wanting to quit smoking.
I love those kind of conversations, where we're not really family, but more like old friends that haven't talked for a long time. It makes me happy.
Just got off the phone with my mom. Haven't talked to her since Christmas, and it was a really nice chat.
( cut for random family info )
All in all, it was actually a pretty nice talk. We talked about Graduation, and I asked if they were coming. She said "Of Course." It's not that I don't think they care or whatever, I just wasn't sure if they'd want to come all the way up here for a boring ceremony. So that really makes me incredibly happy. I didn't want to admit it, but I want my family to see my graduate. Then we talked about what's going to happen after graduation. She didn't put any pressure on me to come home, but she mentioned that there's always a place for me if I want or need it. And she didn't sound dissapointed when I told her that I want to stay here. We laughed about the fact I'm working at the bar I used to be a regular at. We're both wanting to quit smoking.
I love those kind of conversations, where we're not really family, but more like old friends that haven't talked for a long time. It makes me happy.
You know what's interesting?
That I start "acting like a ho" and all of a sudden, guys are interested. Not that I'm actually being all that promiscuous (one guy, repeatedly doesn't quite count as that big of a deal, I think), mind you. I think it's the self-confidence thing. Lately when I've been out or just hanging out at the bar or whatever, I've actually initiated contact and talked to random guys just because. I also got my haircut in a "Look at me!" kind of way. (It's technically a fauxhawk for anyone who cares), so for whatever reason, I've been really extroverted lately.
I got three numbers tonight, and about 4 other guys asked for mine. Granted, numbers aren't all that important, and I shouldn't be basing anything on it. But on the other hand, I think that says a lot about how much I've grown and just how much I've changed over the last 9 months or so. I'm definetely not that shy quiet guy that sits in the corner anymore.
And also on a lighter, comedy cosmic note, Gio came into the bar tonight. He still wants to go out sometime. I think maybe I'll call him and set something up, so long as he understands I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
Wow, this ran on a bit longer than I expected, but I'm writing this more for me than for an actual LJ post. Tonight, I was on. I was funny and charming and cute, and I struck up conversations with a few people I didn't know. And, people responded to that. That really means a lot - I hope I don't forget that.
P.S. - I've had a few, but I'm only slightly buzzed. This is not a drunk post.
I got three numbers tonight, and about 4 other guys asked for mine. Granted, numbers aren't all that important, and I shouldn't be basing anything on it. But on the other hand, I think that says a lot about how much I've grown and just how much I've changed over the last 9 months or so. I'm definetely not that shy quiet guy that sits in the corner anymore.
And also on a lighter, comedy cosmic note, Gio came into the bar tonight. He still wants to go out sometime. I think maybe I'll call him and set something up, so long as he understands I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
Wow, this ran on a bit longer than I expected, but I'm writing this more for me than for an actual LJ post. Tonight, I was on. I was funny and charming and cute, and I struck up conversations with a few people I didn't know. And, people responded to that. That really means a lot - I hope I don't forget that.
P.S. - I've had a few, but I'm only slightly buzzed. This is not a drunk post.
Oh, and also, PSA
Not sure if I'll ever get to reply to all the emails and comments.
Wanted to say thanks to all you well-wishers that were rooting for me last week during the black death of hell. Or, you know, the soar throat and headache that hurt really bad.
Wanted to say thanks to all you well-wishers that were rooting for me last week during the black death of hell. Or, you know, the soar throat and headache that hurt really bad.
*thud*
Okay, the first two days of hellweek are over. And I'm still, more or less, okay. Tonight, I still need to read over the last 6 chapters to prep for my History final on Friday, and also proof, edit, and return my IRB stuff. Oh, that falls under the heading of good news, of which there are two articles. The first being that my research study was approved. I just need to tweek a few little things, get the final stamp of approval, and I'll begin my very first reasearch study. The board gave really great comments, which made me supremely happy with myself. Things like "we not only approve this study, we support it fully, because it is a study that must be done. Research in this field is severely lacking, and we would be proud to stand behind research such as this." This means that not only do they approve it, they're also going to give me special advantages. So, cool. The other piece of good news - the paper I did for Intro, the one I posted a few days ago - we got back today. I got an A:) He gave some great comments, throughout, as well. Which makes me o-so-happy.
I do have to admit, though, I'm in a little bit of a slump. Worries about money and finances and bills have returned. And now I'm plagued by "OH MY GOD, I GRADUATE IN 5 MONTHS - WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO!?!!?!??"
I really just want to crawl into bed for a few days...weeks...months...ever.
I do have to admit, though, I'm in a little bit of a slump. Worries about money and finances and bills have returned. And now I'm plagued by "OH MY GOD, I GRADUATE IN 5 MONTHS - WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO!?!!?!??"
I really just want to crawl into bed for a few days...weeks...months...ever.
Exhausted
Which is what I am. It has been one hell of a long day. And tomorrow isn't looking too good either. I did make almost $70 tonight, though, which is good for a Monday. I'm just hoping that Thursday and Friday go well, or better. I may be able to get through the next couple of weeks without too much of a dent on my credit.
I do have to say, though, that it was nice sitting down after we closed, and me and Nando popped open a bottle of champaign and just sat and talked and smoked for a bit.
The only problem - we talked about what I'm going to do after graduation. A topic I'm not quite ready to deal with.
*sigh*
I do have to say, though, that it was nice sitting down after we closed, and me and Nando popped open a bottle of champaign and just sat and talked and smoked for a bit.
The only problem - we talked about what I'm going to do after graduation. A topic I'm not quite ready to deal with.
*sigh*
I'm graduating!!!
Just had my final graduation meeting with the college office, to finish my graduation application and fill out my degree conferral paperwork.
Everything was perfect.
In 129 days, I'll be a DePaul Graduate. More importantly, I'll BE FINISHED WITH COLLEGE!!!
Everything was perfect.
In 129 days, I'll be a DePaul Graduate. More importantly, I'll BE FINISHED WITH COLLEGE!!!
Entry tags:
I'm brilliant.
Yeah, that's right, I said it. I just finished my Foucault paper - in a little over an hour, thank you very much. And, aside from the conclusion, which I think is a little dumpy, it's actually a fairly descent paper. I'm posting it here mostly for me, but feel free to read it (it's a little over 3 pages long, double paced). It's about the repression of sexuality, and the ramifications of it.
( Those Dirty Victorians, by B.Hendrix )
( Those Dirty Victorians, by B.Hendrix )
You know what really sucks?
Is when you have the best of the best introduction to a paper, but you don't have anything witty, or, at all, to follow it up with?