So, I finished my paper an hour ago (came in at just barely 5 pages, plus references), even though I made up all of the information. Not worried about it, my professors are raging incompetants. This afternoon I filled out "Official Dissatisfaction/Complaint of Professor Conduct" for both of them. I also requested a meeting with the department head about them. Even though there's no way I can fail their class, I want the university to know what awful conduct they've had with this class, and how inexcusable their behavior is.

If anything, it'll make me feel better.

A little.

So now I have to go turn in the paper and give a brief presentation on it.

And then - I'm going to the bar and drinking my exhaustion away.

God I should sleep well tonight.

One final left!

My final short story for Creative Writing: Warning, it sucks.

( Unsuspecting )

A quote, from my development book, "So it seems that children's earliest preferences for gender-typed toys and activities may well result from their parents' (particularly fathers') successful attempts to reinforce these interestes."

Fucking DUH!?

I learned that in Psych 101. Not to mention, I posess, you know, common sense.

Someone shoot me. Now, please.

ahem.

#1) I have officially begun Final Exam Preperation Mode. Essentially this means there are four ashtrays scattered around my apartment overfilling with butts. And also that I have decided to buy stock in Caribou Coffee, and Red Bull.

#2) I am currently addicted to the Dixie Chicks. how did I never hear them and love them before? I don't know.

#3) I have also completed Phase I of Operation Pre-Parent Clense. I just spent three hours cleaning my kitchen. Now, for anyone who has seen my kitchen, you know that three hours is much too much time for such a tiny space. But trust me, it was needed. *gag* I am a bachelor. Tomorrow, I move to Phase II: The Bathroom. And I spend more time in there than in the kitchen. I'm askeered. Later this week, I'll be tackling Phases III, IV, V, and VI: Closets, Carpet, Living Room, and Windows/Mirrors.

#4) I have met someone new. Well, actually two someones new. One is Charlie, who is the sweetest guy ever. Just moved here from Boston; Architect; completed 3 degrees at Vanderbuilt. The other is Jeff. Lived in Chicago forever; owns his own chemical company and services the City of Chicago. Upcoming (as in, when I get back from my vacation) dates with both. More on them as situations develop. You can all say "whoot" if you want. I know I did.

#5) I now have only 8 days left until my graduation ceremony. And as such, I have written the following composition:

I'll cut this because it's a little long:

( Charlie's at 3am )

Fire and lightening scorches midnight skies.
The souls of strangers look for hidden stars.
Yet with tears of dust we keep up the lies.

Pregnant with pain, deaf ears hear muffled cries.
Bound with chains, our fears are cage bars.
Fire and lightening scorches midnight skies.

The life inside us is worth all our tries,
But no life can forget the deaths of ours.
Yet with tears of dust we keep up the lies.

New morning breaks give light to all that dies,
Bodies decaying in the trunks of cars,
Fire and lightening scorches midnight skies.

Graves of mud and fruit infected with flies,
Nothing safe, nothing known, we’re all liars.
Yet with tears of dust we keep up the lies.

These are my nightmares I wake from with sighs,
I fear our future, because in our hearts,
Fire and lightening scorches midnight skies.
The souls of strangers look for hidden stars.

In a not-suprising turn of events, nature has given me her death glare, resulting in my lungs exploding, my head caving in, and my nose turning into a constant drip. I'm coughing up things that no one should ever cough up. In other words, in the year that I've lived in Chicago, I've apparently become deadly allergic to everything that floats, sways, or swings in the breeze. And looking out the window and seeing the cottonwood crap flying through the air just makes my body go into convulsions.

Haven't been able to sleep more than 15 minutes at a time in about a week, either as a result of my allergies or the bad bad dreams I'm having. Like, horrible horrible dreams where I lose a limb or every person I have ever met dies painfully and horribly. Don't even ask about the one involving a giant lobster. *cringe* It appears that my theory about slowing going mad is aboslutely correct.

I found out this weekend that two more friends have tested positive in the last week. At this point, I'm scared out of my mind (not so much that I have it, but that you never know who else might have it). So I'm going on an abstinence strike. As it is, I'm at a little over 4 months for full-on man sex, but now I'm abstaining from anything involving another person that isn't confined to hands-above-the-waist, clothes on, action. I've gone out every night the past four nights (it was International Male Leather here in Chicago this weekend, which draws about 20,000 leathermen/bears/followers from around the world to Chicago for 4 crazy days), and each night more than one guy has tried to pick me up. Tried to. As in, I turned them down. I'm still going to go out when I want to, but I'm definetely cutting down on the drinking because I tend to get naughty after too many cocktails. And I don't want that to lead to ...you know, that.

I graduate in 13 days. Does anyone have some valluim I could borrow? Because my brain = death right now.

Things to do for today before tomorrow: write two 5 page papers that were due 2 weeks ago (thank god for forgiving teachers); re-read The Color Purple; write another short story and send it off for workshop; re-write my previous short story; come up with three more poems (sidebar: he hates my poetry. he says I'm a)too vague, b)trying too hard, c)trying to be too creative[wtf?], and d)"generally a bad poetry writer". to each of these, I say: fuck off); research diversity in LGBT Mediterranean people (help!?); write a response/reflection paper; clean up my apartment so that next weekend when I cleanse it for family approval, it won't take forever (is Chicago ready for the Kimbels to come to town? I'm thinking no: just imagine National Lampoon's Family Vacation via Chicago via Roseanne. Scarey); try not to have a stroke.

So, sorry if I'm not around so much (commenting, posting, and such). I just DONT have any time right now.

I really think I've lost my mind. Either that or I have a severe chemical imbalance. I'm so over-emotional lately. The tiniest thing can cause the biggest mood swing. I'm fairly certain it's because I'm kind of overwhelmed right now by...er, everything. I'm definetely feeling that need to get away vibe again. And I don't mean just going home to visit family. I don't think I'm working next weekend, maybe I'll take a drive up to Lake Geneva and camp out for a few days, clear my head. Then I can come back and finish everything up and be back to my better self.

Yesterday I had an event in Lake Forest, and I drove around Barat a couple of times. It was so erie to see it so deserted, but they haven't done anything yet. Sister Patsie's curtains are still hanging up in the back room. It's strange to think that only a year ago I was leaving there and coming here. It feels like everything that happened there was just a dream.

I've been wandering around my apartment since I got home this morning, cleaning things here and there, but mostly just walking, and thinking, and remembering things I'd forgotten.

My sister called to tell me our dog is lost. He's been gone since 8 last night. My mom can't stop crying, and I can't think about it right now. I just can't. Thank god, they found him.

I think I'm going to finish my homework and go have a drink.

I just spent the last half hour sniffling and sobbing. I recieved my formal letter of congratulations from DePaul University today, with all the information about graduation. It's really happening. I'm really going to graduate. In 27 days, it's all going to be done.

I just don't know what to feel. Aside from overwhelmed.

Just. Wow.

Hey y'all of my Chicago people,

Should have posted this sooner, but been a little busy.

My birthday party is going to be tonight (wednesday) at Gentry, at 9pm. Come and drink and be merry with me!