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Im my humble opinion...

Unicru can go to hell. Anyone that's ever had to fill out an application online using them knows what I'm talking about. Imagine...I've been sitting her for 5 hours now using it, and I've only finished 4 applications.

GRRRR.

Also - new userpic!

Current Music: Carpenters - Rainy Days And Mondays

rainy days and mondays pick me up:)

It's cold and rainy here in ChiTown today.

And I love it. It kinda just fits right now. I had some temporary releif last night, yeah *blush* *whistles innocently*, but then I was woken up by bill people this morning. *sigh*

So I have two choices. I can either put on a pot of coffee, wake up, take a shower, get dressed, and go out and look for a job.

Or, I can continue being a slacker and go back to bed.

Was I bad?

Oh yeah, I was totally bad. I wound up meeting matt for a drink and some smokes at LJ's, where we met someone who introduced me to John. John is just about the sexiest creature in the whole world.

*ahem*I wound up going home with John and f**king the crap out of him. We have a date tomorrow night after he gets off work. *cough cough*

Mmm.

I did things tonight that would make even...uml...me, blush. Cool.

(no subject)

Date with Matt turned out to be just having a drink. 10 minutes into it, we're friends now. lol.

But I have another date in half an hour with Marshall, who's been trying to get me to go out with him for months. I finally caved, so we're meeting for coffee at 4. No expectations, no regrets.

In the meantime, Sam called last night while I was out with Matt and asked what I was doing, if I wanted to "hang out." I told him I was kinda busy. I'm really not trying to play any games, but he can't have his cake and eat it too. If he wants to date me, then he needs to, um, date me. I'm not one of those "wait forever" kind of people anymore.

Hmm

Matt (someone new) just called to ask me out.

Think I'll go grab a drink with him. *hmph*

Current Music: The Cure - Pictures of You

Entry tags:

learn to be lonely

Learn to be Lonely Chapter 21 Update!

Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 21/?
Author:

chocgood84
Rating: NC-17 for brief violence and sexual content
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Author’s Note: Yes, I am aware that the timeline is a little screwed up and that Giles didn’t own the Magic Box until after Adam and after Dawn arrived. But in my reality, who’s Dawn? Adam what? Also, a huge spanking thanks to

kitty_poker1 for being my official L2BL beta.
Disclaimer: These character’s aren’t mine, never were; I don’t get any profit for this hobby, so don’t sue – Thanks.
Warning: Brief violence, nudity, and hetero and homo sexual content and situations. And some h0t man-luvin.
This can also be found in my LJ Memories, as well as on my website.

( Chapter 21 )

Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Judy Collins - Send In The Clowns

Stupid Brain

I'm awake.

Kept having nightmares. Like, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the new one) type nightmares.

Life, and things.

Had the interview; he offered me a position. I'm not going to take it, though. No benefits, no base salary, and I would have to spend $400 to get licsenced in Illinois to sell Insurance. So, while I feel better about *someone* taking an interest, I feel shitty because - is this the best I can do?

My credit card company called - someone's got my account number and is using it. They didn't catch it until two purchases were rang at the same time - me, in Chicago, and this other person, in California, within minutes of each other. So now I have to go through and fix it all. Also, my bank called - "should we clear this check? there won't be much left after it goes through."

And, I've decided to break it off with Sam. I called him this afternoon to ask him about the date last night, and he said he 'forgot.' So I asked if wanted to do something this weekend, and with no other explaination, he said 'I'm busy.' Probably overreacting here, but that doesn't really fly with me. I dated one guy for 9 months that never had time to actually spend with me, I'm damn well not doing it again.

It's only 6pm, but I'm so drained. I think I'm going to just go to bed. Maybe I'll wake up when the economy's better.

P.S. my mom called to tell me that my diploma finally arrived. I told her to burn it; it's obviously not doing me any good.

Current Music: John Jones - Feel No Pain

Times, they are desperate

As per example, I have an interview tomorrow with AFLAC tomorrow morning, for a job - get this - selling insurance. *cringe* The only thing worse is the other interview I have, tomorrow afternoon, for a job...*gag* managing a restaurant.

Got two more rejections this afternoon.

Also, Sam is MIA. He didn't show for our date tonight, didn't call, and isn't answering. I'd say that's pretty much strike two. Especially considering it was our 4th date in three weeks. *is not pleased*

General Thank You

I've been going through all the comments you guys have made over this summer (I know I've been terrible about responding to...um... everyone), and I just wanted to shout out a huge THANK YOU to all of my f-list. It's definetely been a pretty high/low few months, and you all have been so supportive and kind to me, even at my craziest.

Anyway, thank you to all of you guys.

*big F-list hug*

It means a lot to me.

Current Mood: rejected
Current Music: Judy Hollins - Send in the Clowns

rejection #428

Okay, not really that many. Just seems like it.

Yeah, I'm feeling kind of crappy right now. I shouldn't because I have another interview tomorrow with Primerica.

It's just really hard to stay positive and upbeat when the "Sorry to inform you" emails keep pouring in from everywhere.

Not to worry

He called, appologized.

We made up:)

(no subject)

Well, interview #1 was a bust.

I'll just be here in the corner, trying not give into the urge to crawl into a hole and die.

The icing

Here's the icing on the incredibly crappy weekend cake, kiddies:

I blew it with Sam. We decided not to see each other anymore.

I'm certainly not suprised. And I definetely can't get that upset over it. This is what happens. Really. It's just something that I have to learn how to deal with - not Sam, per se, but potential future relationships.

But on the less rational, less grown-up, less mature side of things: this really just sucks. First my job, then my family, and now this. I understand that God tests us, that he or she doesn't give us anything we can't ultimately handle. It's supposed to make us stronger. Well, I'm strong enough. I don't want to be any stronger than I am right now.

Anyway, I should probably get some rest for my interview in the morning. Something to look forward to, I suppose.

(no subject)

( My Interests Collage! )

(no subject)

Well, after a humiliating show of drunkenness last night, I pay for it dearly today. I can barely type this I'm in so much pain. The worst part is that I'm pretty sure I did some drunkdialing last night. And I know I snotted all over Phillips shoulder about my dad. I feel like the world's biggest TOOL today.

BUT.

I was woken up twice this morning from my drunken slumber, and granted two interviews for tomorrow. The first one, at 8am in O'Hare, doing sales with Career Builder, and the second one at 7pm in Oakbrook with Primerica Financial doing investment consulting. I'm pretty confidant I'll get one or both, and obviously pick the higher paying one.

See. I can land on my feet.

Now please let me go back to sleep until the elephants stop running through my brain. Because when I wake up, I have to start acting like a grown up.

(no subject)

Sam just left.

Man, I'm crazy about that boy.

Uh oh.

Well, Date #3 was a success. A big success:)

But then my manager, luther, just called. He wants me to come in at 3:00 "for a talk."

This doesn't bode well. Especially not since they've already hired someone to replace me. He's cute, twinky, 22, and a psych graduate from northeastern. No, I don't feel replaced at all.

So, I might not have a job as of 3:00 today. Fun!

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Bilile Meyers - The Shark and the Mermaid

General life update

Sam - elaboration on last night's post. Saturday after Kate's party, I went to his place in Andersonville to hang out, and wound up staying all night. Nothing sexual, just more cuddling, touching, talking, sleeping. We woke up...together (yay!)...and talked some more. Realized we were both hungry, so we came down to Boystown for brunch. I picked up the check, and we came back to my place so I could get ready for work, shower, etc. We wound up taking a little nap, and then fooling around a little bit - nothing major, just some more frisky petting;) I drove him home, and went to work. We also figured out the timeline. We're trying to be responsible and not rush into it too much. I've been single 3 years, and him 2 months. He's just a really great guy, and I like him quite a bit. Our 3rd date is on Thursday; we're going for Mexican food and then going to see the Barenaked Lads perform "Seduction," a musical.

Work is still work, with its issues and such. Me and Fernando are kind of getting back to normal after a pretty lengthy discussion. Tony and are still seeming a bit skittish, but I'm pretty sure that'll work itself out - he's bartending tonight, and I'm on the floor. Me and Arben, though - I'm almost positive that'll never be worked out. Which is okay, I guess. Kinda sad, but as Dan kindly pointed out: if he was actually a friend, he would want to resolve it, rather than stretch it out and hold a grudge. Which is true.

No new interviews, no more people calling for recruitments. I'm more than a little bummed about it right now. But also as Cara pointed out: it just means there's something better waiting for me to find it.

Me and Genevieve are doing dinner next Sunday when she gets back in town, and I'm pretty excited about that.

It's nice. It's more than just Sam, but I'm finally starting to feel back on track instead of stuck. Things are working again, and I couldn't be gladder that they are. *knock on wood*

Date #2, consequences

So, date #2 went well. Went very well. We're officially "seeing" each other. After #4, we'll be dating, and if it goes longer than a month...it's exclusive (well, one month ish).

So happy right now.

So deleriously fucking happy.