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Man, all it takes is a good meltdown, and my whole system just flushes itself out. Today I'm feeling tons better. Still...annoyed, but better. I guess I just got to thinking, and really things are way better then they were in Chicago. It's just that feeling that keeps getting to me. That overwhelming trapped like a rat fuck what am i going to do? thing that gnaws at me. I know I am loved. I know things are not as bad as they could be/have been before. I know my job isn't as bad as it seems all the time. Quite honestly, I need to just get a grip.
I guess I need to find my sea legs again. And plus, for a few months, when things were good, my whole entire attitude and life outlook was better. And, granted, my big reason for that isn't around anymore, there's no reason why I should not try to have that way of looking at things back. It was good for me, and it made things better just by thinking positive (who knew, eh?), so...pssh. Screw it. If I'm going to be the man I want to, I need to just do it. If I'm ever going to have that confidence again, I need to start acting like I already have it.
I guess I need to find my sea legs again. And plus, for a few months, when things were good, my whole entire attitude and life outlook was better. And, granted, my big reason for that isn't around anymore, there's no reason why I should not try to have that way of looking at things back. It was good for me, and it made things better just by thinking positive (who knew, eh?), so...pssh. Screw it. If I'm going to be the man I want to, I need to just do it. If I'm ever going to have that confidence again, I need to start acting like I already have it.
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Glass half full, man. Glass half full.
:)