People wanna open you up like Christmas...

[synapticjava]

Music. Nice.

The good news is that I got a little bit of sleep in. Got up and puttered around the apartment, did some cleaning. All unpacked! Finally.

Now it's time to throw some stuff in a bag and head to Indy for the night. I gotta say that even I think this is incredibly insane, even for me. I wouldn't normally even think about doing something this crazy, but I think it's time to take a few risks. And this is definetely a risk worth taking. Who knows what could happen, but I'll never find out if I don't try.


So I've been pretty allusive about this, but I'm fairly sure you've figured out what's been going on. It's about a guy: Frank. Are you surprised? Probably not. Anyway, we met a week and half ago on a website, and immediately hit it off. We've been camming and talking on the phone non stop since then. It seems like we have this completely amazing connection. The only problem is that he lives in Indiana, about 2 hours away. Which is not that big a deal at all. In the short time we've been talking, some definete feelings have come up - on both sides. So I have the chance to visit him tonight and go out and see what it's like. Normally I'd be terrified about something like this - I think I've met maybe 3 people online since I was 14 (shush, Shawna!). The funniest thing is that I wouldn't even have been on the website if I hadn't broken up with Todd. So, just like with him, it kinda feels like I'm being led along. And that's where the risk comes in.

I feel kinda like I owe it to myself to explore different opportunities. To daydream (unrealistically of course), what if things with Frank are exactly what I've been searching for, and what if that leads to something that lasts...Everything could change, and if it does, maybe that's the right thing. I'm taking my hands off the wheel and letting myself ride for awhile. Life is too short to try and control every little thing, and as I've found over the last year - thinking you are in control does definitely NOT mean you ARE in control. In the end it only makes you crazy.

I'm slightly afraid of what my friends will think (or are thinking), but on the other, heavier, hand - if they love me, they want me to be happy. And this could potentially raise that. I'm fully admiting the situation is a little unconventional and, shall we say, insane. But it happens every day. I think it's worth a shot.


So that's the very short short of what's been going on. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. So encredibly excited about the changes that are happening. Even if it doesn't happen the way I'm hoping - it's something new, something different. It's something! And for that I couldn't be more excited than I am right now. (have you figured out that I'm excited?)

So tonight I'll be in Indy with Frank. wilde_moon'll be here tomorrow night for the CoRo show, and she'll be here till Monday - yay! And then Frank'll come up Saturday afternoon and stay until Sunday night or Monday morning. I hope they don't mind my Barbie's Dream Apartment. I've never had two other people stay here at the same time. Could be interesting. I've already got the weekend all planned out, and we're in for some Big Fun.

So I'm gonna run. Wish me luck:)

Comments

[wilde-moon.livejournal.com]

Ah, so that explains the moving to Indy talk! Also, don't tell me to shut up, I'll make fun of you if I want to. :-P *cough*England*cough*

[caviling]

Whenever you read this -- I hope you will have/are having/had lots of fun. And not that it matters but I'm sure no one thinks you're crazy for meeting someone off The Internet. I mean, as long as you're being safe, right? I, for one, recommend it. Whee!

[lunabee34.livejournal.com]

When you home, dude, there better be dishing.