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Because today has really been teh sucketh, and I still have another 4 hours until I'm done with classes, I've decided to babble and/or rant.
First, a moment of clarity. For the sake of my sanity, your flists, and to simplify life in general, me and Matt just are. Not lovers, not boyfriends, not anything easily defined. I feel like if I take the definition away, it won't bother me so much that I can't define it. So that's that. I feel better, how bout you?
Second, a moment of bitchyness. When someone says "I don't like school" or even "I hate school," most people rightfully just laugh and say "Haha, it'll get better, don't worry," with the idea that the person is just stressed out. But my feelings towards DePaul University right now is that if it were to inadvertantly, oh I don't know, burn to the ground, I'd be right there at the sidelines with my hot dogs and marshmallows. Because the closer I get to getting the hell out of here, the further away it seems, and the more work it takes. It's kind of like that last hurdle in a track race, see? And you know how runners say they hit "the wall" or they get their "second wind" or whatever it is runners do (look at me - do I look like a runner to you?). Not quite right for me, because I just simply am done. I'm exhausted, sick of being exhausted, and tired of being sick of being exhausted. Four years is too bloody long to run on 4 hours of sleep a night, two out of three nights a week being spent all-nighting. Four years of papers and quizes and projects and exams and scantrons and Excel and emails and spellcheck and computer crashes and dormitories and parking tickets and starbucks and hanus bitches that sit in front of you with their RoadKill Cologne and their twelve-inch mohawks or the asshole next to you who forgot to take a shower, like, every day for the last 18 years, or the professor who insanely thinks that his class is the only class you are taking and so he piles up the reading and the papers and the quizes... It's all just so much. I'm truly looking forward to my graduation ceremony, because I think I will attend and then piss all over the president. Why not - the administrations been pissing all over me for the last four years.
And finally, a comment on society - inspired by my Queer Theory reading. We're all fucked up. We're all different. We are all unique and we all search for something more. Are you sensing a pattern here? We're all doing exactly the same thing, in effect making our differences our similarities. The only problem is that each person, or group of people, think that their thing is the most important. All of the major world relgions think that they are the correct one, the only one, and they have the divine right from God, whomever he or she may be, if he or she even exists. But what everyone fails to realize is that they are practicing essentially the same thing. Religion aside, because personally it's not an issue in my life anymore, if one were to look at sexuality across cultures: in every culture, it's something different. Some cultures celebrate it, some cultures fear it or try to absolve it. But they all admit its importance. If it weren't important, why would we be fighting for or against legislature across the globe right now? Every ism under the sun is defined by its own set of victims and persecution, by a heierarchy of victimology. But if every minority banned together - would we not be the majority? What I'm trying to say is - get your heads out of your ass, stop whining about inequality and do something about it. That includes the war in Iraq, being the middle child, getting bullied on the playground, or trying to survive in a capitolist economy in which the prices just keep inflating. Everything changes; our only options are to either adapt to the changes, make our own set of changes, or get left behind.
First, a moment of clarity. For the sake of my sanity, your flists, and to simplify life in general, me and Matt just are. Not lovers, not boyfriends, not anything easily defined. I feel like if I take the definition away, it won't bother me so much that I can't define it. So that's that. I feel better, how bout you?
Second, a moment of bitchyness. When someone says "I don't like school" or even "I hate school," most people rightfully just laugh and say "Haha, it'll get better, don't worry," with the idea that the person is just stressed out. But my feelings towards DePaul University right now is that if it were to inadvertantly, oh I don't know, burn to the ground, I'd be right there at the sidelines with my hot dogs and marshmallows. Because the closer I get to getting the hell out of here, the further away it seems, and the more work it takes. It's kind of like that last hurdle in a track race, see? And you know how runners say they hit "the wall" or they get their "second wind" or whatever it is runners do (look at me - do I look like a runner to you?). Not quite right for me, because I just simply am done. I'm exhausted, sick of being exhausted, and tired of being sick of being exhausted. Four years is too bloody long to run on 4 hours of sleep a night, two out of three nights a week being spent all-nighting. Four years of papers and quizes and projects and exams and scantrons and Excel and emails and spellcheck and computer crashes and dormitories and parking tickets and starbucks and hanus bitches that sit in front of you with their RoadKill Cologne and their twelve-inch mohawks or the asshole next to you who forgot to take a shower, like, every day for the last 18 years, or the professor who insanely thinks that his class is the only class you are taking and so he piles up the reading and the papers and the quizes... It's all just so much. I'm truly looking forward to my graduation ceremony, because I think I will attend and then piss all over the president. Why not - the administrations been pissing all over me for the last four years.
And finally, a comment on society - inspired by my Queer Theory reading. We're all fucked up. We're all different. We are all unique and we all search for something more. Are you sensing a pattern here? We're all doing exactly the same thing, in effect making our differences our similarities. The only problem is that each person, or group of people, think that their thing is the most important. All of the major world relgions think that they are the correct one, the only one, and they have the divine right from God, whomever he or she may be, if he or she even exists. But what everyone fails to realize is that they are practicing essentially the same thing. Religion aside, because personally it's not an issue in my life anymore, if one were to look at sexuality across cultures: in every culture, it's something different. Some cultures celebrate it, some cultures fear it or try to absolve it. But they all admit its importance. If it weren't important, why would we be fighting for or against legislature across the globe right now? Every ism under the sun is defined by its own set of victims and persecution, by a heierarchy of victimology. But if every minority banned together - would we not be the majority? What I'm trying to say is - get your heads out of your ass, stop whining about inequality and do something about it. That includes the war in Iraq, being the middle child, getting bullied on the playground, or trying to survive in a capitolist economy in which the prices just keep inflating. Everything changes; our only options are to either adapt to the changes, make our own set of changes, or get left behind.
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It's fucked up!
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Marie