Life's Mysteries

[synapticjava]

A question for my older-than-myself flisters.

Does the whole love/attraction/mate thing get easier? Is it because of age or experience?

I'm young, I know. It's just that the question strikes me every so often. I'm just so disasterous in this area of my life. I'm just wondering if maybe I'm jinxed or cursed or something. Or is it pretty typical that you crash and burn and fall before you can finally get it right?

FYI: This actually isn't in regards to Matt.

Comments

[outsideth3box.livejournal.com]

I don't know the answer to that question, but it has often struck me as strange that people seem to expect to just instinctively know how to do relationships right off the bat, without ever having had any real-life *practice*.

[tabaqui]

No, you goober, you're not *jinxed*.
You're twenty-one. Things are *hard*. Your emotions go into a tailsping over this shite because you're stressing about work and school and life-after-school and money and jobs and *sex* and love.

People don't find their 'one true love' or whateverthefuck at eighteen and live happily ever after. It's a toss up when you will of *if* you will, truth be told. And relationships take *work*. And compromise, and fighting and hating and loving and crying and shouting and laughing until you're sick.

Fuck the movies, fuck romantic songs - being in love is part of life and life is *messy*. Nothing's perfect and *nothing* stays the same.

Never fear - you'll find love. Take what you get, be happy, live your life. Don't expect perfection and forever after the first date - or the twentieth. Just expect happiness.

*hugs*

[lunabee34.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes! I agree.

Love is a verb. It is a committment and not necessarily a feeling. Sometimes the feelings are there too, and that's great. But other times you have down moments with your SO where you don't *feel* the way you used to. Ride those out, and the feelings cycle back again.

[reddwarf75.livejournal.com]

Sorry, no help from me... I can't even manage attraction :p
Marie

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

I don't think it gets much easier - if you can't be hurt, then you're not going to fall in love, just in like.
I still sometimes get hurt by broken friendships (though perhaps less than I used to) and I'm 46.

[imaginaryimages.livejournal.com]

Here's my take. It isn't that it gets easier. In my experience it just became less important. Less the CENTER of importance, I guess.

And you know what happened? When I wasn't looking/worrying/stressing/fretting over it - is when IT happened.

Just Like Tab' said, you don't find whateverthefuck at age eighteen. Just learn from your experiences, don't ever regret trying and one day, when you least expect it, you'll find it. Also like she said, there is no perfect romantic love. It does take work, and sometimes it hurts. As long as it isn't HARMFUL or ABUSIVE to one party, the ups and downs are normal. Disagreements are life.

Patience, my young friend! :)