I'm okay

[synapticjava]

Just a line to let anyone know who was worried, that I'm okay. I overreacted and drank way more than I should have, hence the previous post. Sorry if I frightened anyone or upset anyone.

I actually am okay. We went to lunch today with a friend of mine, Kate, and had a fun time. He's coming over here and I'm making him dinner after he gets off work, so I'm sure we'll talk about it then.

Remarkably, I did get up and go to class this morning, though I was still drunk. I feel much better now, but I'm really tired. I'm gonna go take a bath and steam out some of the crap in my system. And then I'm going to take a quick nap and clean up some stuff before he comes over.

Really, I'm fine. I meant what I said before everything started happening - I really do want him as a friend. And at least I still have that, and will have that.

Comments

[caviling]

Glad you're doing all right. Hope school provides a happy distraction.

[(Anonymous)]

I didn't reply to your previous post because I was still stringing thoughts together after reading it, so please consider this a response to both (which may or may not be worth anything since I'm over a week behind and working on a sleep deficit).

You're not stupid and you're not naive. Sometimes you get your heart bruised when you take chances but it doesn't mean that the risk isn't worth taking. (Sheesh, I sound like bad greeting card!)

I've been reading about Matt and your instant friendship-flirtation-attraction-etc (I know, I haven't commented on it before) and I've been so terribly jealous that you're still able to let these things happen, that you are able to throw yourself into it and enjoy the ride. I'm even jealous of the let down. Life and experience have me protecting myself so hard lately that I'd have never given it a chance and that's just sad. I know that I miss out on a lot this way.

I think that the trick is to find a happy medium, sort of the difference between climbing with reasonable safety equipment and free climbing. I definitely recommend avoiding the fear of climbing/two feet on the ground at all times approach to relationships that I've adopted in recent years. The view is better from up there and I'm glad you got to see it.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I hope you will continue to see the possibilities and let yourself take chances once in awhile (and pretend that wasn't such a lousy metaphor - obviously the thought-stringing thing isn't going well).