![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hey look, I haven't died - here's chapter 14 of L2bL!
Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 14/ ?
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,kittypoker1. That's for the express, darlin.
Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
With every step he took, Xander got calmer, happier. Every box he filled with childhood mementos and treasured keepsakes made him one second closer to smiling, laughing. The afternoon was coming to a close, and the western sun was falling to the horizon. The light coming through the windows was orange and in the corner of Xander’s eyes he kept seeing the basement on fire. But maybe that was wishful thinking.
In only a few short hours, he’d managed to find enough boxes in the neighborhood to pack everything he wanted. There really wasn’t much. Some old comic books, all his clothes, pictures of his friends. He wasn’t going to bother with much of the furniture; most of it was theirs anyway. His TV and stereo were pretty much his most prized possessions, and that was only because they’d be expensive to replace.
He didn’t bother cleaning. Whisker shavings in the sink, pizza sauce on the counter and dust on everything that wasn’t packed. Didn’t matter much – the basement should match the rest of the house.
This morning, when he’d finally gathered the strength to pull himself to his feet and get out, he was surprised by how easy this was. Once he realized that this wasn’t the end of the world, he understood that it was what he needed. Not the getting the crap kicked out of him part, but the being kicked out. He finally had a good enough reason to move on, to wake up from this nightmare.
All afternoon, he’d been throwing things into boxes or trash bags, emotionally disconnected and mentally unaware. How many of Anya’s hair ties or trinkets had he thrown out, without even looking twice at them? How many memories in each corner of this space were forgotten or buried as he rifled through, pitching or packing? Even the bad memories seemed somehow distant to him as he pulled things off high shelves and out of deep closets.
Yes, this was a good thing that was happening. A blessing in disguise, a silver lining, an end to justify the means. Because he was finally getting away from here, away from him and away from what he’d always feared the most: turning into that man.
It wasn’t so surprising that he felt nothing, thought nothing, expressed nothing as he packed up his life, sealing it with duct tape and cardboard. That didn’t shock him as much as he would have thought. That he didn’t have to keep suppressing the urge to pound walls or break windows. Didn’t start crying or growling when the memory of his father broke into his mind.
No; what surprised him was what he actually was thinking about, what he was focused on all day. Spike. Spike had been the object of his thoughts and emotions as he folded, dusted, crammed, and packed his life away. Where is he? Is he okay? Why did he leave after I fell asleep? Is he coming back? Did he get caught outside? What about last night – what does it mean?
Xander taped up the last box just as the horizon swallowed the sun. He placed the box by the open door – everything else was out in the yard beside the driveway. All he needed to do now was find some way to move it. Somewhere to move it to would be good too, he supposed.
He took his key ring out of his pocket and unlinked the deadbolt and thumb lock keys. Shoving the others back into his jacket pocket, he carried the two keys across the room and started up the stairs. He paused, glancing back at the almost-empty basement, finally feeling that first stab of pain since this morning. This place had been home forever. This is where he and Anya had first made love, where he and Willow had watched countless B-Movie marathons and eaten more popcorn and pizza than any human should in one lifetime. It was where he’d grown up.
But it had also been his own private hell. The screaming, the fighting, the nightmares…the beatings.
No. He wasn’t going to miss this place. Because he still had the memories, and that was all he needed.
Xander looked at the closed door at the top of the stairs, yellowish light seeping from under the crack. With a sigh, he lay the keys on the bottom stair.
He turned and found Spike standing in the middle of the bare room, watching him. Spike’s eyes widened as he noticed the bruised skin on Xander’s face, smelled the blood that still stained the carpet. His widened blue eyes shifted into squinting yellow ones.
“What. Happened?” he growled, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.
“We’re leaving,” Xander replied, walking slowly towards him but stopping inches away. He imagined that he could hear Spike’s pulse racing, hear him panting as his focus turned from Xander to the stairs.
“Why?” Spike asked, eerily calm, never taking his eyes off those steps.
“Because it’s time to move on,” Xander explained, closing the gap between them. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around the vampire, leaning into the statue that seemed to melt within seconds. Only now, as Spike’s arms wound their way around him too, did he finally feel like he could cry again. He wanted to, gods, did he want to. But he couldn’t. Not just yet. He’d shed enough tears over something broken that could never be fixed.
A cool breeze drifted through the open door, bringing them back to themselves. Xander unlocked himself from the hug and made his way to the box on the floor.
“I’ll get it, Xan,” Spike offered, shifting back to his human face and watching Xander with eyes as wet and dark as the night ocean. Spike picked up the box and walked up the stairs.
Leaving the lights on, Xander turned the thumb lock and closed the door.
***
“We can’t stay in a motel forever, Xander,” Spike pointed out on their way to the club. “Well, actually we can, but we shouldn’t – it’s a waste of cash.”
“I already told you, Spike,” Xander rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pocket, “I am not moving into a crypt. It’s cold, damp and, not to mention, icky.”
“Well, fine,” Spike pouted. “Stupid humans and their stupid heat.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it you that usually uses up all the hot water?” Xander glanced sideways at the sulking vampire.
“Didn’t say I don’t like it,” Spike explained. “Just sayin’ I don’t need it.”
“Uh huh. Besides, we’re not going to be there forever. Just long enough for me to find a place I can afford and get my shit together.”
They were both quiet for a while, Xander lost in his thoughts, Spike lost in his.
“Xander, I-” Spike broke the silence.
“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Xander demanded.
“I don’t bloody well care. I’ve got to say it, alright?” Spike stopped, reaching out and turning Xander towards him. The boy refused to look him in the eye.
“Alright, fine. Go.” Xander’s gaze slowly drifted up to meet Spike’s.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been and I wasn’t… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Spike. You didn’t know that today was going to be day when…that would happen.” Xander looked away for a moment, but only a second later he returned, smiling. “Let’s get to the club; I need to forget about today.”
“Fine by me.”
They walked a few more blocks in silence before Xander finally broke down and asked.
“Where…did you go?”
“Uh, had to see a guy about something, that’s all. Got caught across town with no sewer access.”
“Oh. What?” Xander asked.
“What do you mean, what?”
“What did you have to see a guy about?”
“Just something, that’s all.”
“Well, what was it?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Just tell me,” Xander insisted playfully, stopping in his tracks and crossing his arms.
“Fine. Fine, you want to know why I couldn’t get back in time to stop that pissant of a ‘father’ from beating on you?” Spike growled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a smallish white box with a white lace bow. He gave it to Xander. “This is why.”
“What?” Xander stammered, turning the box over and over, inspecting it. “What is it?”
“Just open the bloody thing,” Spike grunted, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
Xander carefully untied the bow, putting the lace into his pocket. He lifted the lid and pushed the tissue paper out of the way. He couldn’t quite make out what it was until he pulled it all the way out of the box. In the orange light from the street lamp, the snow looked like confetti, but the scene inside was easy to make out. Victorian London, with carriages and streetlamps and carolers and snowmen. The whole thing was set into an antique silver base.
“You got me a snow globe?” Xander asked with mild amusement.
“You said you wanted to see winter,” Spike explained, looking at his feet.
“Wh…I…” Xander’s mouth was trying to form words, but his mind was moving too quickly for it to catch up. So he settled for a simple, but heart-felt, “Thank you, Spike.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go get snockered.”
***
When they entered Serpent, they were surprised to find it in a somewhat conservative mood. The doorman was dressed in a tux – granted, it was a blue one, but a tux nonetheless – and every drag queen in the room was dressed to the nines in sequined gowns or poodle skirts with diamonds dripping off every finger and neck. Even the demons were dressed up; some wore top-hats, held canes, a few had tuxedos like the doorman. The music, too, was different. Jazzy, bluesy mixes with sweet saxophones and slow trumpets. Slow enough to remind Xander of some old records he had found and listened to as a kid, fast enough for the crowd to dance to.
“Hey, kids! Back so soon?” Tuna called from the bar, waving them over. He was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt - the kind with the bowtie and jacket screen-printed onto it – and tux pants and a newspaper boy hat.
“Was a long day,” Xander said, sitting on a stool, Spike taking his place beside him. “Can I get a drink, a shot, and another drink?”
“Sorry, no-can-do sweetheart,” Tuna replied, leaning across the bar and kissing first Xander, then Spike on the cheek.
“What, why?” Xander asked.
“You’re not in costume,” Tuna explained, gesturing to the rest of the room. “It’s the Golden Oldies party tonight.”
Xander noticed that, instead of the blue-green of the previous night, the bar was shrouded with a golden mist over everything, as if Midas had had a shopping spree.
“Oh…well, I guess we can go to the Bronze?” Xander pouted at Spike.
“Pssh, I’d rather shoot myself in the foot with a crucifix than go there tonight,” Spike whined.
“Oh, please, you think I’d let my two new favorite customers spend their night at that playschool palace?” Tuna asked. “Uh-uh, girlfriends, follow me. Hey, Turvey, watch the bar for me a minute, will ya?”
Tuna came out from behind the bar and led them to a little room just outside the entrance to the restrooms. Inside was what could easily be the biggest warehouse Xander’d ever seen, of costumes of every type from every period of history.
“Now, Spike, since you were around at the time, you know what to look for. I’ll help Xander here find something appropriate. Go on, now. ” Tuna shooed Spike away and turned Xander towards the opposite direction. “Besides,” he whispered, “it’ll give us a chance to talk about him.”
“I heard that!” Spike’s disembodied voice yelled from behind a row of fur coats.
“Of course you did, dear,” Tuna replied, rolling his eyes and leading Xander by the hand toward the back of the room.
“So, you had a bad day, huh?” he asked, pausing every few steps and pulling something off a rack, glancing between it and Xander and putting it back up.
“Yeah. It’s a long story, though,” Xander mumbled, wanting to just forget about it.
“Boy or girl?” Tuna asked, looking at him.
“Huh?”
“Do you want to dress as a boy or girl?” he clarified.
“Oh. Boy. Drag kinda scares me.”
“Probably for the best. You have the hands only a man can wear,” Tuna laughed. “So what’s the short version?”
“What?” Xander asked.
“Your long story – what’s the short version?” Tuna asked again, pulling a pair of black high-waist slacks off a hanger and holding them up to Xander, nodding approvingly.
“Oh, uh. Got beat up and kicked out.”
Tuna almost dropped the pants as he leaned in, whispering sharply. “By that beast!?”
“Spike? Oh no, no, no. Spike wasn’t even home when it happened. It was…it was someone else.”
“Hmm, well, in that case,” Tuna pulled Xander along to another row – this one apparently made up of shirts of every color of the rainbow, “whoever it was had better look out. A pissed off vampire is never a good houseguest. And one thing is for certain – that vampire is one pissy monster right now.”
“You think?” Xander asked, shaking his head as the demon pulled out a red sequined shirt that not even he would wear.
“Oh, yes,” Tuna nodded, putting the shirt back and grabbing another. “So, do you love him?”
“What!?” Xander yelped, jumping back a step or two. “What kind of question is that?”
“Well, do you?” Tuna pulled him by the hand a few rows deeper into an area filled with hats, ties, belts, glasses, canes, and just about everything else a person could wear or carry.
“No,” Xander insisted. At the look Tuna gave him, he admitted it. “I don’t know. Feelings, yes. And they’re not hatey-feelings anymore. Liking feelings is even a bit strong at this point. Up until a month ago, we were mortal enemies. Now we’re…we’re not really friends, because friends don’t buy gifts for each other like that, and they don’t dance the way we danced last night, and they don’t want to rip out someone’s throat just because they hurt their ‘friend’.”
Tuna just smiled, nodding, watching as Xander went into babble-overdrive. After waiting it out, he decided to jump back in. “So, he bought you a gift?”
“Yeah,” Xander smiled. “It’s in his pocket now, but you should see it. It’s beautiful. It’s an antique snow globe of Victorian London.”
“Because you’ve always wanted to see winter,” Tuna said.
“Yeah, that’s right. How did you know?” Xander asked suspiciously.
“I have my ways.” Tuna flashed his toothy smile.
“Nope, not freaky in the slightest.”
“So, what are you going to do now that you have nowhere to go?” Tuna asked, poring through box after box of ties and hats, throwing everything back in and going onto another box.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll get an apartment somewhere.” Xander shrugged.
“Why not just take some time off?” Tuna wondered. “Get of out town for a while, go somewhere new for a change.”
“That’s really weird. I was just telling Spike last night that that’s what I want to do,” Xander said.
“So do it – what’s stopping you now?”
“I…well, um. My friends; I can’t just leave my friends like that.”
“That’s sweet,” Tuna laughed. “But I can live without you for a little while.”
Xander laughed, and liked how it felt. “I mean –”
“I know what you mean,” Tuna said. “But, have they never left you before?”
“Well, no,” Xander responded. “Well, Buffy used to go to her dad’s every summer. And Willow’s parents take her with them on their trips every once in a while…”
“But you’re not entitled to your own vacation?”
“I…um…”
“Ah, here we are,” Tuna exclaimed, coming up from a box with a grey newspaper boy hat and a scarf. “Now, let’s get you dressed. I bet Spike is waiting for you right now.”
***
…the boys are, someone waits for me.
A smilin' face…
As Xander and Tuna emerged from what Tuna called the “Boom Boom Room,” Xander started laughing. The dance floor was packed, as usual, with all manner of demon. But, unlike the previous night, the dancers were slow-dancing to a song Xander only vaguely remembered hearing once in his childhood. The lights were low and simulated candles. The music was almost grainy, like a record being played.
…my true love will be.
He's walkin' down some street in town and I know he's lookin' there for me…
And then he saw Spike. He was leaning against the bar in a crisp black suit with black and white wing-tipped shoes. His shirt was white and the tie he was wearing was charcoal grey. He had black sunglasses on, and had somehow turned his hair black and had it slicked back. In one hand he had a cigarette, and in the other he held a martini.
“Baby, don’t forget to breathe,” Tuna whispered into his ear as he passed around him, slapping him on the butt.
… In the crowd of a million people I'll find my Valentine…
Spike noticed Xander standing there and smiled. He set the martini on the bar and held out his hand, making his way towards him.
“You look…amazing,” Xander breathed as he took Spike’s hand.
“As do you, pet,” Spike said against Xander’s ear, making him shiver.
“What, this old thing?” Xander joked. He was dressed in the hat and slacks, black shoes, a royal blue shirt and had a charcoal gray kerchief tied around his neck, matching his hat and Spike’s tie.
“Care to dance?” Spike asked, leading them towards the dance floor.
“I’ve never slow danced before – not like this,” Xander admitted.
“It’s not hard,” Spike said. “I’ll teach you.”
… Till he holds me I wait impatiently
Where the boys are, where the boys are…
Xander sucked in a breath as Spike pulled him tightly against his chest. Spike wrapped one arm around his back, and held Xander’s hand in the other. Slowly they started to turn in time to the singing voice.
…where the boys are
Where the boys are, someone waits for me…*
They danced for quite a while through some songs Xander knew, and some songs he didn’t. Spike had undoubtedly heard them all, knew them all. His steps were flawless and his movements graceful. Xander felt like they were on the set of some MGM musical as he was swept in circles across the dance floor.
“Spike?” Xander looked into Spike’s eyes.
“S’matter, pet?” Spike whispered, his grin sharp and his eyes sharper.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Spike asked.
“For the snow globe. And for just…just, thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Xander.” Spike’s smile widened.
Xander lay his head on Spike’s shoulder as they continued to dance through set after set of old-time music. Xander noticed Tuna looking at them once or twice, and each time the demon smiled and made a heart gesture over his chest. Xander only laughed.
“…Only one more song of the evening, folks. We hate to kick you out, but even club owners and bartenders have to sleep at some time.” An announcer was signaling last dance over the PA system. “And this is the last dance, so make it special. Dance a little slower, a little closer, a little softer. Have a good night, guys.”
…Hold me, hold me
Never let me go…
Spike’s grip tightened around Xander’s waist.
…I want to know and then just hold me, hold me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you…
They turned, circling faster and faster in time to the music. Xander raised his head and stared straight into Spike’s eyes, smiling and laughing as they spun.
…Walk me down the lane where shadows
will be…will be…
Hiding lovers just the same as we'll be, we'll be
When you make me tell you I love you…
Spike slowed them back to a comfortable pace, back and forth, turning and spinning. Xander couldn’t stop smiling. There was no one else but Spike in the room, nothing but his eyes and his arms around him and the smile that was there for and because of him.
…Kiss me (kiss me), kiss me (kiss me)
And when you do, I'll know that you
will miss me (miss me), miss me (miss me)
If we ever say "Adieu", so kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you…**
Xander leaned down then, closing the inch or so of space between them. Softly, slowly, he touched his lips to Spike’s. Softness and cool, sweet breath against his. Spike tilted his head against Xander’s and opened their mouths with his tongue, searching for Xander’s. They found each other and danced, exploring one another for the first time. Cool met warm, softness felt leather, sweetness turned sweeter as they consumed each other. In the background, the song reached its climax as the trumpets blared and the horns shouted.
Xander finally pulled back, smiling even harder than he had been before. At some point, they had stopped dancing. From the bar came clapping and whistling, and Xander turned to find Tuna doing the applauding. He almost blushed, but decided to turn and kiss Spike again.
Spike was smiling just as wide and hard as he was. He was also just as willing for another kiss as Xander was, and they both gave in.
The lights came on, interrupting them. Xander almost pouted, noticing that Spike was too. “Guess we can do this back at the motel, too,” he realized.
“S’right, we can,” Spike admitted, wriggling his eyebrows and leading them back to the bar. “We need to turn these in, mate.”
“Don’t worry about it, kids,” Tuna smiled. “You can keep ‘em…for later.”
“What about our clothes?” Xander asked. He was answered by having a bag handed to him, containing all of his and Spike’s clothes. Right on top of the folded clothes was the snow globe that Spike had bought him, and that brought another smile to his face.
“Thank you, Tuna,” Xander laughed, leaning across the bar and hugging the demon.
“Don’t mention it. Someday you’ll return the favor, though. By the way, I wrote my number down and put it in there – you better call me!”
“Oh, I will,” Xander smirked as Spike took him by the arm and led him towards the door.
“Goodnight, boys!” Tuna called after them. Xander and Spike both waved back as they walked out into the night.
Songs and lyrics for this chapter are:
*Connie Francis – Where the Boys are
**Johnny Mathis – Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me
Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 14/ ?
Author:
chocgood84Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,
kittypoker1. That's for the express, darlin.Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
With every step he took, Xander got calmer, happier. Every box he filled with childhood mementos and treasured keepsakes made him one second closer to smiling, laughing. The afternoon was coming to a close, and the western sun was falling to the horizon. The light coming through the windows was orange and in the corner of Xander’s eyes he kept seeing the basement on fire. But maybe that was wishful thinking.
In only a few short hours, he’d managed to find enough boxes in the neighborhood to pack everything he wanted. There really wasn’t much. Some old comic books, all his clothes, pictures of his friends. He wasn’t going to bother with much of the furniture; most of it was theirs anyway. His TV and stereo were pretty much his most prized possessions, and that was only because they’d be expensive to replace.
He didn’t bother cleaning. Whisker shavings in the sink, pizza sauce on the counter and dust on everything that wasn’t packed. Didn’t matter much – the basement should match the rest of the house.
This morning, when he’d finally gathered the strength to pull himself to his feet and get out, he was surprised by how easy this was. Once he realized that this wasn’t the end of the world, he understood that it was what he needed. Not the getting the crap kicked out of him part, but the being kicked out. He finally had a good enough reason to move on, to wake up from this nightmare.
All afternoon, he’d been throwing things into boxes or trash bags, emotionally disconnected and mentally unaware. How many of Anya’s hair ties or trinkets had he thrown out, without even looking twice at them? How many memories in each corner of this space were forgotten or buried as he rifled through, pitching or packing? Even the bad memories seemed somehow distant to him as he pulled things off high shelves and out of deep closets.
Yes, this was a good thing that was happening. A blessing in disguise, a silver lining, an end to justify the means. Because he was finally getting away from here, away from him and away from what he’d always feared the most: turning into that man.
It wasn’t so surprising that he felt nothing, thought nothing, expressed nothing as he packed up his life, sealing it with duct tape and cardboard. That didn’t shock him as much as he would have thought. That he didn’t have to keep suppressing the urge to pound walls or break windows. Didn’t start crying or growling when the memory of his father broke into his mind.
No; what surprised him was what he actually was thinking about, what he was focused on all day. Spike. Spike had been the object of his thoughts and emotions as he folded, dusted, crammed, and packed his life away. Where is he? Is he okay? Why did he leave after I fell asleep? Is he coming back? Did he get caught outside? What about last night – what does it mean?
Xander taped up the last box just as the horizon swallowed the sun. He placed the box by the open door – everything else was out in the yard beside the driveway. All he needed to do now was find some way to move it. Somewhere to move it to would be good too, he supposed.
He took his key ring out of his pocket and unlinked the deadbolt and thumb lock keys. Shoving the others back into his jacket pocket, he carried the two keys across the room and started up the stairs. He paused, glancing back at the almost-empty basement, finally feeling that first stab of pain since this morning. This place had been home forever. This is where he and Anya had first made love, where he and Willow had watched countless B-Movie marathons and eaten more popcorn and pizza than any human should in one lifetime. It was where he’d grown up.
But it had also been his own private hell. The screaming, the fighting, the nightmares…the beatings.
No. He wasn’t going to miss this place. Because he still had the memories, and that was all he needed.
Xander looked at the closed door at the top of the stairs, yellowish light seeping from under the crack. With a sigh, he lay the keys on the bottom stair.
He turned and found Spike standing in the middle of the bare room, watching him. Spike’s eyes widened as he noticed the bruised skin on Xander’s face, smelled the blood that still stained the carpet. His widened blue eyes shifted into squinting yellow ones.
“What. Happened?” he growled, clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.
“We’re leaving,” Xander replied, walking slowly towards him but stopping inches away. He imagined that he could hear Spike’s pulse racing, hear him panting as his focus turned from Xander to the stairs.
“Why?” Spike asked, eerily calm, never taking his eyes off those steps.
“Because it’s time to move on,” Xander explained, closing the gap between them. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around the vampire, leaning into the statue that seemed to melt within seconds. Only now, as Spike’s arms wound their way around him too, did he finally feel like he could cry again. He wanted to, gods, did he want to. But he couldn’t. Not just yet. He’d shed enough tears over something broken that could never be fixed.
A cool breeze drifted through the open door, bringing them back to themselves. Xander unlocked himself from the hug and made his way to the box on the floor.
“I’ll get it, Xan,” Spike offered, shifting back to his human face and watching Xander with eyes as wet and dark as the night ocean. Spike picked up the box and walked up the stairs.
Leaving the lights on, Xander turned the thumb lock and closed the door.
***
“We can’t stay in a motel forever, Xander,” Spike pointed out on their way to the club. “Well, actually we can, but we shouldn’t – it’s a waste of cash.”
“I already told you, Spike,” Xander rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pocket, “I am not moving into a crypt. It’s cold, damp and, not to mention, icky.”
“Well, fine,” Spike pouted. “Stupid humans and their stupid heat.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it you that usually uses up all the hot water?” Xander glanced sideways at the sulking vampire.
“Didn’t say I don’t like it,” Spike explained. “Just sayin’ I don’t need it.”
“Uh huh. Besides, we’re not going to be there forever. Just long enough for me to find a place I can afford and get my shit together.”
They were both quiet for a while, Xander lost in his thoughts, Spike lost in his.
“Xander, I-” Spike broke the silence.
“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Xander demanded.
“I don’t bloody well care. I’ve got to say it, alright?” Spike stopped, reaching out and turning Xander towards him. The boy refused to look him in the eye.
“Alright, fine. Go.” Xander’s gaze slowly drifted up to meet Spike’s.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been and I wasn’t… I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, Spike. You didn’t know that today was going to be day when…that would happen.” Xander looked away for a moment, but only a second later he returned, smiling. “Let’s get to the club; I need to forget about today.”
“Fine by me.”
They walked a few more blocks in silence before Xander finally broke down and asked.
“Where…did you go?”
“Uh, had to see a guy about something, that’s all. Got caught across town with no sewer access.”
“Oh. What?” Xander asked.
“What do you mean, what?”
“What did you have to see a guy about?”
“Just something, that’s all.”
“Well, what was it?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Just tell me,” Xander insisted playfully, stopping in his tracks and crossing his arms.
“Fine. Fine, you want to know why I couldn’t get back in time to stop that pissant of a ‘father’ from beating on you?” Spike growled, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a smallish white box with a white lace bow. He gave it to Xander. “This is why.”
“What?” Xander stammered, turning the box over and over, inspecting it. “What is it?”
“Just open the bloody thing,” Spike grunted, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
Xander carefully untied the bow, putting the lace into his pocket. He lifted the lid and pushed the tissue paper out of the way. He couldn’t quite make out what it was until he pulled it all the way out of the box. In the orange light from the street lamp, the snow looked like confetti, but the scene inside was easy to make out. Victorian London, with carriages and streetlamps and carolers and snowmen. The whole thing was set into an antique silver base.
“You got me a snow globe?” Xander asked with mild amusement.
“You said you wanted to see winter,” Spike explained, looking at his feet.
“Wh…I…” Xander’s mouth was trying to form words, but his mind was moving too quickly for it to catch up. So he settled for a simple, but heart-felt, “Thank you, Spike.”
“You’re welcome. Now let’s go get snockered.”
***
When they entered Serpent, they were surprised to find it in a somewhat conservative mood. The doorman was dressed in a tux – granted, it was a blue one, but a tux nonetheless – and every drag queen in the room was dressed to the nines in sequined gowns or poodle skirts with diamonds dripping off every finger and neck. Even the demons were dressed up; some wore top-hats, held canes, a few had tuxedos like the doorman. The music, too, was different. Jazzy, bluesy mixes with sweet saxophones and slow trumpets. Slow enough to remind Xander of some old records he had found and listened to as a kid, fast enough for the crowd to dance to.
“Hey, kids! Back so soon?” Tuna called from the bar, waving them over. He was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt - the kind with the bowtie and jacket screen-printed onto it – and tux pants and a newspaper boy hat.
“Was a long day,” Xander said, sitting on a stool, Spike taking his place beside him. “Can I get a drink, a shot, and another drink?”
“Sorry, no-can-do sweetheart,” Tuna replied, leaning across the bar and kissing first Xander, then Spike on the cheek.
“What, why?” Xander asked.
“You’re not in costume,” Tuna explained, gesturing to the rest of the room. “It’s the Golden Oldies party tonight.”
Xander noticed that, instead of the blue-green of the previous night, the bar was shrouded with a golden mist over everything, as if Midas had had a shopping spree.
“Oh…well, I guess we can go to the Bronze?” Xander pouted at Spike.
“Pssh, I’d rather shoot myself in the foot with a crucifix than go there tonight,” Spike whined.
“Oh, please, you think I’d let my two new favorite customers spend their night at that playschool palace?” Tuna asked. “Uh-uh, girlfriends, follow me. Hey, Turvey, watch the bar for me a minute, will ya?”
Tuna came out from behind the bar and led them to a little room just outside the entrance to the restrooms. Inside was what could easily be the biggest warehouse Xander’d ever seen, of costumes of every type from every period of history.
“Now, Spike, since you were around at the time, you know what to look for. I’ll help Xander here find something appropriate. Go on, now. ” Tuna shooed Spike away and turned Xander towards the opposite direction. “Besides,” he whispered, “it’ll give us a chance to talk about him.”
“I heard that!” Spike’s disembodied voice yelled from behind a row of fur coats.
“Of course you did, dear,” Tuna replied, rolling his eyes and leading Xander by the hand toward the back of the room.
“So, you had a bad day, huh?” he asked, pausing every few steps and pulling something off a rack, glancing between it and Xander and putting it back up.
“Yeah. It’s a long story, though,” Xander mumbled, wanting to just forget about it.
“Boy or girl?” Tuna asked, looking at him.
“Huh?”
“Do you want to dress as a boy or girl?” he clarified.
“Oh. Boy. Drag kinda scares me.”
“Probably for the best. You have the hands only a man can wear,” Tuna laughed. “So what’s the short version?”
“What?” Xander asked.
“Your long story – what’s the short version?” Tuna asked again, pulling a pair of black high-waist slacks off a hanger and holding them up to Xander, nodding approvingly.
“Oh, uh. Got beat up and kicked out.”
Tuna almost dropped the pants as he leaned in, whispering sharply. “By that beast!?”
“Spike? Oh no, no, no. Spike wasn’t even home when it happened. It was…it was someone else.”
“Hmm, well, in that case,” Tuna pulled Xander along to another row – this one apparently made up of shirts of every color of the rainbow, “whoever it was had better look out. A pissed off vampire is never a good houseguest. And one thing is for certain – that vampire is one pissy monster right now.”
“You think?” Xander asked, shaking his head as the demon pulled out a red sequined shirt that not even he would wear.
“Oh, yes,” Tuna nodded, putting the shirt back and grabbing another. “So, do you love him?”
“What!?” Xander yelped, jumping back a step or two. “What kind of question is that?”
“Well, do you?” Tuna pulled him by the hand a few rows deeper into an area filled with hats, ties, belts, glasses, canes, and just about everything else a person could wear or carry.
“No,” Xander insisted. At the look Tuna gave him, he admitted it. “I don’t know. Feelings, yes. And they’re not hatey-feelings anymore. Liking feelings is even a bit strong at this point. Up until a month ago, we were mortal enemies. Now we’re…we’re not really friends, because friends don’t buy gifts for each other like that, and they don’t dance the way we danced last night, and they don’t want to rip out someone’s throat just because they hurt their ‘friend’.”
Tuna just smiled, nodding, watching as Xander went into babble-overdrive. After waiting it out, he decided to jump back in. “So, he bought you a gift?”
“Yeah,” Xander smiled. “It’s in his pocket now, but you should see it. It’s beautiful. It’s an antique snow globe of Victorian London.”
“Because you’ve always wanted to see winter,” Tuna said.
“Yeah, that’s right. How did you know?” Xander asked suspiciously.
“I have my ways.” Tuna flashed his toothy smile.
“Nope, not freaky in the slightest.”
“So, what are you going to do now that you have nowhere to go?” Tuna asked, poring through box after box of ties and hats, throwing everything back in and going onto another box.
“I don’t know. I guess I’ll get an apartment somewhere.” Xander shrugged.
“Why not just take some time off?” Tuna wondered. “Get of out town for a while, go somewhere new for a change.”
“That’s really weird. I was just telling Spike last night that that’s what I want to do,” Xander said.
“So do it – what’s stopping you now?”
“I…well, um. My friends; I can’t just leave my friends like that.”
“That’s sweet,” Tuna laughed. “But I can live without you for a little while.”
Xander laughed, and liked how it felt. “I mean –”
“I know what you mean,” Tuna said. “But, have they never left you before?”
“Well, no,” Xander responded. “Well, Buffy used to go to her dad’s every summer. And Willow’s parents take her with them on their trips every once in a while…”
“But you’re not entitled to your own vacation?”
“I…um…”
“Ah, here we are,” Tuna exclaimed, coming up from a box with a grey newspaper boy hat and a scarf. “Now, let’s get you dressed. I bet Spike is waiting for you right now.”
***
…the boys are, someone waits for me.
A smilin' face…
As Xander and Tuna emerged from what Tuna called the “Boom Boom Room,” Xander started laughing. The dance floor was packed, as usual, with all manner of demon. But, unlike the previous night, the dancers were slow-dancing to a song Xander only vaguely remembered hearing once in his childhood. The lights were low and simulated candles. The music was almost grainy, like a record being played.
…my true love will be.
He's walkin' down some street in town and I know he's lookin' there for me…
And then he saw Spike. He was leaning against the bar in a crisp black suit with black and white wing-tipped shoes. His shirt was white and the tie he was wearing was charcoal grey. He had black sunglasses on, and had somehow turned his hair black and had it slicked back. In one hand he had a cigarette, and in the other he held a martini.
“Baby, don’t forget to breathe,” Tuna whispered into his ear as he passed around him, slapping him on the butt.
… In the crowd of a million people I'll find my Valentine…
Spike noticed Xander standing there and smiled. He set the martini on the bar and held out his hand, making his way towards him.
“You look…amazing,” Xander breathed as he took Spike’s hand.
“As do you, pet,” Spike said against Xander’s ear, making him shiver.
“What, this old thing?” Xander joked. He was dressed in the hat and slacks, black shoes, a royal blue shirt and had a charcoal gray kerchief tied around his neck, matching his hat and Spike’s tie.
“Care to dance?” Spike asked, leading them towards the dance floor.
“I’ve never slow danced before – not like this,” Xander admitted.
“It’s not hard,” Spike said. “I’ll teach you.”
… Till he holds me I wait impatiently
Where the boys are, where the boys are…
Xander sucked in a breath as Spike pulled him tightly against his chest. Spike wrapped one arm around his back, and held Xander’s hand in the other. Slowly they started to turn in time to the singing voice.
…where the boys are
Where the boys are, someone waits for me…*
They danced for quite a while through some songs Xander knew, and some songs he didn’t. Spike had undoubtedly heard them all, knew them all. His steps were flawless and his movements graceful. Xander felt like they were on the set of some MGM musical as he was swept in circles across the dance floor.
“Spike?” Xander looked into Spike’s eyes.
“S’matter, pet?” Spike whispered, his grin sharp and his eyes sharper.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Spike asked.
“For the snow globe. And for just…just, thanks.”
“You’re welcome, Xander.” Spike’s smile widened.
Xander lay his head on Spike’s shoulder as they continued to dance through set after set of old-time music. Xander noticed Tuna looking at them once or twice, and each time the demon smiled and made a heart gesture over his chest. Xander only laughed.
“…Only one more song of the evening, folks. We hate to kick you out, but even club owners and bartenders have to sleep at some time.” An announcer was signaling last dance over the PA system. “And this is the last dance, so make it special. Dance a little slower, a little closer, a little softer. Have a good night, guys.”
…Hold me, hold me
Never let me go…
Spike’s grip tightened around Xander’s waist.
…I want to know and then just hold me, hold me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you…
They turned, circling faster and faster in time to the music. Xander raised his head and stared straight into Spike’s eyes, smiling and laughing as they spun.
…Walk me down the lane where shadows
will be…will be…
Hiding lovers just the same as we'll be, we'll be
When you make me tell you I love you…
Spike slowed them back to a comfortable pace, back and forth, turning and spinning. Xander couldn’t stop smiling. There was no one else but Spike in the room, nothing but his eyes and his arms around him and the smile that was there for and because of him.
…Kiss me (kiss me), kiss me (kiss me)
And when you do, I'll know that you
will miss me (miss me), miss me (miss me)
If we ever say "Adieu", so kiss me, kiss me
Make me tell you I'm in love with you…**
Xander leaned down then, closing the inch or so of space between them. Softly, slowly, he touched his lips to Spike’s. Softness and cool, sweet breath against his. Spike tilted his head against Xander’s and opened their mouths with his tongue, searching for Xander’s. They found each other and danced, exploring one another for the first time. Cool met warm, softness felt leather, sweetness turned sweeter as they consumed each other. In the background, the song reached its climax as the trumpets blared and the horns shouted.
Xander finally pulled back, smiling even harder than he had been before. At some point, they had stopped dancing. From the bar came clapping and whistling, and Xander turned to find Tuna doing the applauding. He almost blushed, but decided to turn and kiss Spike again.
Spike was smiling just as wide and hard as he was. He was also just as willing for another kiss as Xander was, and they both gave in.
The lights came on, interrupting them. Xander almost pouted, noticing that Spike was too. “Guess we can do this back at the motel, too,” he realized.
“S’right, we can,” Spike admitted, wriggling his eyebrows and leading them back to the bar. “We need to turn these in, mate.”
“Don’t worry about it, kids,” Tuna smiled. “You can keep ‘em…for later.”
“What about our clothes?” Xander asked. He was answered by having a bag handed to him, containing all of his and Spike’s clothes. Right on top of the folded clothes was the snow globe that Spike had bought him, and that brought another smile to his face.
“Thank you, Tuna,” Xander laughed, leaning across the bar and hugging the demon.
“Don’t mention it. Someday you’ll return the favor, though. By the way, I wrote my number down and put it in there – you better call me!”
“Oh, I will,” Xander smirked as Spike took him by the arm and led him towards the door.
“Goodnight, boys!” Tuna called after them. Xander and Spike both waved back as they walked out into the night.
Songs and lyrics for this chapter are:
*Connie Francis – Where the Boys are
**Johnny Mathis – Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
Really loved it! :D
From:
no subject
Jeeze. My day barely just started :-D
Thank you, luv.
From:
no subject
Spike getting all upset because of what happened to Xander was awesome. (If that chip ever comes out, Xander's father is dead.)
~Nebula
From:
no subject
*smooches*
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Thanks!
From:
Learn...14
I don't think we'll have to wait for the chip to come out for something to happen to Xander's dad--the man is doomed as Spike can be so very devious when he's inspired.
Lastly Tuna's a great OMC.
Shakatany
From:
Re: Learn...14
Oh, thank you sweety!
More soon:) I hope.
From:
no subject
Nice piece of character building. Makes you just wanna hug the boys.
From:
no subject
Thank you so much!
From:
no subject
It's a lovely, slow build-up, that's still building!
The snow globe idea is such a wonderful William-style gift, romantic and old-fashioned and sweet.
I'm very glad you haven't died. ;)
From:
no subject
Hee! Me too:)
Thank you, sweety.
From:
no subject
Kat
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
*smooch*
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
I'm thinking I'm not going to get them there in time, though. The story's still at around Halloween - that's two months to cover in about three weeks here. *pout*
From: (Anonymous)
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
Thank you!
do you mind if I friend you?
Of course not, go right ahead:)
I think you are one of the most talented spander writers I have seen.
Well gosh, thank you very much! That's sweet.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. Not that I'm rushing or anything, but um....where's 15?
From:
no subject
Thank you, sweety. I promise more will be out soon - RL has just been...erm...up and down, lately.
From:
no subject
Gah! I've got a history test thingy tomorrow and I've spent half my day reading this. And honestly I've got to say that it was completly worth it.
Your an incredible writer and I hope to see more of your work. It's been a pleasure readong thus far and I'll continue tomorrow. Of to read about the Russian Revolution :( and I can't tear myself away...
From:
no subject
I'm so glad you like it - thanks for the big compliments, and I hope I didn't throw off your studies too much;)
From:
no subject