To whom it may concern:

[synapticjava]

Dear computer: please stop sucking, or else I'll have to throw you out of a window and hope to hit one of these snotty Camp DePaul children.

Dear woman next to me: please tell all of your gazillion fucking children to a)stop staring at me, I don't like it; b)stop screaming, I really don't like it; c) stop smearing cream cheese all over the table because it is fairly obvious that you are not going to clean it up. Also, your dress is hideous; why not just wear plastic garbage bags?

Dear Lincoln Park: fuck you and your god damn chic boutiques that make it so there is absolutely no fucking parking anywhere in a 12 block radius. As an annendum, Dear DePaul: I've said this many times but fuck you and I hope you go bankrupt but not until you give me my fucking degree. Again, fuck you.

Dear Chicago PD: please stop puting tickets on my car, especially when they mean nothing. That's two now that you've wrongly slapped on my windshields, and really, I don't like that you waste my time and energy just because you get slaphappy. Leave me the fuck alone; I live here. Go after the tourists who are parked on the other side of the street, next to a fire hydrant with no permit or visitor pass.

Dear Maintenance: you just *had* to choose the hottest fucking day of the year to decide to clean the god damn windows, didn't you? I hope the sun fries your brains like the apartment is going to *cook* me with no air conditioner. F. U. T. U.

Dear work: I'm agry that I have to get fitted for a tux *again* so that I can work another outdoor event next week at a plated dinner for 500. I am not happy.

Dear summer: fuck you I hate you for being hot and sticky and I wish the sun would just go back where it came from. I *really* hate sweating.

Dear life: stop utterly and completely sucking
***********************************

So apparently I'm in a really bad fucking mood. And *screaming* children are soooo not helping with this right now. I'm tired, hungery, have a headache, have no money, and I really just want to go home and go back to bed, but I can't because they're washing windows today it's about 1,000 degrees outside.

So, lead on, shitty mood.

Comments

[wildflowerfever.livejournal.com]

"or else I'll have to throw you out of a window"
I'm happy to see that old Barat traditions are being kept alive. ;)

Hope things stop sucking soon.

[bipolarbaby.livejournal.com]

damn sucky people!!! I hope you were able to go get some sleep, damn those window washing people. How's next wed the 27th for ya? are you free??!?!

[lunabee34.livejournal.com]

Dear Brad,

Picketh up thine sledgehammer and relieveth thyself of these nuisances. LOL

Love,

Your friend, the Overlord of all

[(Anonymous)]

do you want me to put a curse of bad luck on everyone who are upsetting you? i will break my rules (like i don't anyway) and do this just for you because i hate to hear that you are upset, it makes me want to do "fun" things to people. lol will talk to you wed or thurs.