![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
That's right, I'm completely done done done! It's over! I can't believe it! I'm using exclamation points because I'm so excited!
*ahem*
Because some of you think there is or isn't a character death and because some will freak out if it's imroperly marked, but because I don't want to spoil anyone that doesn't want to be, if you want to know if there's a charcater death, click the second livejournal link that says "Character Death, Yes or No" for your spoiler. Otherwise, this has been...wow, I just can't believe it's finally over. I hope you enjoy this FINAL CHAPTER!
Title: In Sunlight or Shadow (18/18)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17 overall
Feedback: It's my anti-drug. So unless you want me start abusing chocolate and crack, please leave some.
Notes: Vamp!Xander series; the usual applies: blood play, smut, schmoop and man-luvin.
Previous parts: here.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be cannon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
“Again, I ask: Where is it?” Xander interjected. And once again, he wished he could keep his mouth shut.
“We already possess it, I’m afraid,” Giles whispered, looking up at everyone. “You are the sword, Xander.”
“Absolutely fucking not, Xander,” Spike shouted, slamming the bathroom door, or what was left of it, behind them.
“Spike,” Xander shouted back, checked himself, and lowered his voice. “Spike, we don’t have any choice. I have to do this.”
“Like hell you do!” Spike continued to yell. “You can’t. I’m not going to let them kill you, Xander. I’m not going to let you go.” Though his voice was still quite loud, he was losing steam. Xander could see the lights dying in his usually vibrant eyes. Could see the slight dip of the shoulders, the tiny drop in posture.
Xander stood from where he was leaning against the sink, reaching out to Spike. For a moment, Spike flinched – the spark of something still unkindled. Yet it was only brief, and Xander quickly found himself wrapped tightly in Spike’s arms with the older vampire rocking them slowly. The leather body he was mashed against quivered slightly, and Xander felt more than heard trembling lips singing out a soft lullaby, ancient and irksome.
"If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me, I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me…”
“I do love you, Spike,” Xander whispered. “Love you soo…love you enough to die once, remember?”
No words escaped the cold lips that continued to tremble against Xander’s neck and cheek. He was about to ask again, but finally Spike nodded. Slow, weary…wavering.
“That’s how much I love you, Spike. I gave my life for you,” Xander explained, running his fingers through unruly blond and brunette curls. “I gave my life to you. And then you brought me…back. And, Spike? I’ve never regretted it. You believe me, don’t you?”
Still no words, no movement, save for another faint nod. Xander felt wet against his flesh, realized that Spike was crying against his shoulder. And suddenly he wanted to laugh, laugh at all the watchers and slayers who thought demons couldn’t love – who thought demons had no hearts. Because right now, here, he felt his exploding with a protective fury that no fire could match and no winter could freeze. The love he felt for this vampire, this man that had given everything to him, had saved him, had taught him – this love was real. This love was…forever.
“I died for you once, Spike.” Xander whispered against tender flesh. “I’ll die for you again.”
“But…” Spike tried, raising his head and matching gazes with the man that had changed him from beast to lover. “What am I going to do?”
“You’ll do what you do best, Spike,” Xander answered, wiping the tears from Spike’s cheek with his thumbs. “You’ll remember; you’ll remember and you’ll love. You’ll remember and you’ll protect my family.”
“I love you, Xan. I know way back…I know I was a bastard. I know…I know I hurt you, hurt your friends,” Spike started to ramble, plunged into memories of days before the chip and before the soliders. Days before mortals and being kept. Days before…before he knew how nice it was to be loved. Loved this way. Loved this hard.
“Spike, you don’t have to say it,” Xander interrupted him by placing a finger against his lips. “I know everything, love. I know…I know I was hard to love. I know I wasn’t easy to even be around. I know that. You don’t owe me any apologies, Spike. You don’t owe me anything. You’ve…you’ve shown me more than I thought I would ever see. You’ve shown me…You’ve shown me the shadows -”
“And you’ve shown me the sunlight,” Spike finished. The tears were gone, and in their place were vibrant diamonds of pride and love, laughter and sorrow.
They melted together suddenly, like twin pillars of wax left to back in the sun. They found each other as if they’d been lost forever, and at the same time it felt they’d never parted. Lips against lips and flesh against flesh, they tasted themselves on each other; they tasted each other on themselves. With no heat from inside them, the fire that burned between them was one of ice, and yet it was more comforting, more enveloping, more natural than any flame or any heat could ever hope to obtain. Because this was them.
“Besides,” Xander morbidly joked when they broke their kiss, “it didn’t say I was going to die.”
“Xander, it’s an apocalypse – someone always has to die,” Spike reminded him, though with a faint smile in his eyes, soft laughter in his voice.
“Got me, there,” Xander admitted. “Come on, let’s go get the gang and kick some shifty shadowy darkness butt.”
”Xander, are you sure about this?” Buffy asked, pacing the living room and weaving in and out of piles of debris. “I mean, you don’t know…you could die.”
“Giles said possibly!” Willow yelped, hopping up from the couch. She realized there was nothing to do and shakily sat back down and balled her fists together in her lap.
“Quite right,” Giles interjected, rubbing his fingers against his temples absently. “The texts are not clear about what the results of…sacrifice could be.”
“Giles, be serious,” Buffy snapped. “Do you think Xander can survive this? Don’t tell me what you hope and don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Can he survive this?”
Giles was hesitant a moment, keeping his eyes downcast and covered with shadow. After a pause, he brought his head up to meet her blazing gaze.
“No, I don’t think so,” the watcher said sadly.
“It doesn’t matter, Buff,” Xander said stiffly. “It’s the only way.”
“I am not going to let you do this, Xander!” Buffy screamed, stomping ruefully towards him with a finger pointed wildly at him. “I am not going to let you die. There has to be another way, Giles.”
“I’m afraid there isn’t, Buffy. I wish there was, but there just isn’t…” Giles’ voice sounded so far away, full of static like a broken radio signal. His eyes, too, were peering out on an ocean of lost memories, of a son that wasn’t his and a man that was willing give the ultimate sacrifice.
“And you’re just going to let him, Spike?” Buffy shrieked, her face contorted in a caricature of pain and anger. “You’re going to let him…die?”
“I’d rather let you use me for a splinter pincushion than let him do it, Buffy,” Spike replied truthfully. “But there’s nothing you, nor I, can do about it.”
“He’s right, Buffy. I’ve made up my mind,” Xander stated.
For a single moment, it seemed like Buffy was gone. Her face became tranquil and her lips stopped quivering. Her eyes turned from blue to violet to blue, and finally a tear appeared there, on the apple of her cheek. Nodding her head slowly, unsurely, she went to Xander and put her arms tenderly around him. And then she began to sob.
Willow followed, entwining her arms between the others, holding on firmly to the only family she wanted, needed. She remembered a time, not long ago, that she had been jealous of Buffy because Xander loved her more. But now she realized that Xander’s love for her had been the reason he hadn’t succumbed to her ill-fated seduction. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And now, he was damning himself again to save her – to save them.
“I’m so sorry, Xander,” Buffy choked. “I don’t want to lose you. I wish…if only there was another way.”
“I think there is,” Tara half-whispered from the doorway.
They all turned to stare at her, shocked and confused. The witch’s hair was bright blonde now, almost glowing white - the color of sun, Xander realized - and her eyes were a bright shining emerald. She looked alive once more, and to their astonishment, she smiled widely at them.
“I think there’s another way,” she spoke.
"Are you sure this is going to work?” Buffy asked, wielding the torch in front of her and stopping at the mouth of the cave. Their trek back had been quiet and peaceful, and it put them all on edge.
“No,” Tara admitted. “But we have to try.”
“True enough,” Buffy remitted. “Are we ready?”
A quick check around the group revealed that everyone had their supplies. A moment of calm descended on them, and no one moved or even breathed as they looked from one to the next to the next person around them. No one mentioned the intense fear that was boiling within them or the alarming sense of faith that seemed to be slipping away like a lost ship at sea.
“Okay, I guess we’re going in. Remember, crowd around Tara until she gives the word. Then spread out as much as you can.”
They followed Buffy into the dark space again, and again they were met by that irksome silence that seemed wrong, somehow. And again, nothing attacked them as they made their way from room to room, space to space.
As planned before they left, they searched for and eventually found the chamber in which Giles had been held hostage. Buffy led them into the room, her axe held high and a bag of supplies slung over her shoulder. Behind her, Tara walked between Giles and Willow, her hair almost phosphorescent in the transcendent light of a lone gas lantern. Bringing up the back, Spike and Xander kept a watch behind them, alert to any sound or threat that might resound at any moment. Spike’s sword clinked mechanically against Xander’s own, metallic music for a nightmare soundtrack.
When they came to the center of the room, the five outer members circled Tara, their weapons held high and their chins held higher. Tara dropped to the floor of the chamber, throwing open her bag and splaying out the contents. The others dropped to one knee, turning their backs toward Tara and facing their invisible enemy. They emptied their bags on the floor in front of them. Each bag held a candle, a dagger, a crystal, and a vial of potion that Tara had mixed before they left.
In the center, Tara opened the vial, dripping the pasty liquid in a small circle in front of her. Inside the circle, she placed the crystal. She lit a match and touched it to the candle wick, passing it to the outer circle where first Buffy, then Giles, Willow, Spike and Xander lit their own candles. When the candle was returned, Tara drew a deep breath to steady herself.
“Get ready,” she whispered. The outer circle stood, their objects in hand.
“Ostendo sum res no absentis!” Tara boomed, her voice echoing through the room and into the other caverns. There was a sudden grumbling, and the floor beneath them began to roll slightly.
“Go, now!” Tara shouted as the rumbling grew to growling grew to thunder around them. The five members of the outer circle dispersed to the outer edges of the chamber, forming a larger circle around the room. Once there, they dropped to their knees and drew the potion circle in the dirt, placing the crystal within it.
“Ostendo sum res no absentis!” Tara screamed once more, and in less than an eye blink, the room was teaming with thousands upon thousands of the swirling black masses, diving and screeching at the victims come to be heroes.
Howling, screaming, flying, swooping, they came tearing at each of them, claws and shadows, death and darkness flying on wings made of nightmares. Yet still the candles burned, withstanding the assault and keeping the demons away from them for just a little while. More and more of the beasts came soaring into the now-claustrophobic cavern, filling the earth with noise and filling the air with darkness.
They’re like cockroaches, Xander thought for a moment, mesmerized by their teaming and writhing. Fucking insects, that’s all.
“Now!” He heard Tara scream through the explosions of sound around him. He raised his dagger and brought it down heavily on the crystal, piercing and severing it. A cloud of blue-green dust rose from it, and as he brought the candle down to the broken crystal, the cloud flared bright orange and violet, soaring to the ceiling of the room. The cloud turned to flame, reminding Xander of a Fourth of July firework he’d once set off in the basement.
Elsewhere in the cave, five other pillars of molten clouds streaked through the darkness, shooting towards the ceiling and wrapping around to meet each other. Above them, the ceiling that once had been stone now became a pulsing humming churning whirlpool of flame and smoke.
At once, the demons around them began to shriek louder, piercing everyone’s ears with the shrill needles of garish screams. And as soon as it was begun, the sound was stopped. The sound of dead space filled the room, for just a brief second before a loud sizzling and popping and finally a terrifying rrriiiiiiipppp made its way across the ceiling. The demons, silent but furious, swarmed like an angry hive of blood-seeking bees, launching straight at each member of the group. They did not succeed however, because the pillars of smoke and flame became a barrier they could not breech. Again, the room seemed to expand as still more and more of the beasts swelled and swirled around them.
Suddenly, the pillars began to flash, fading and returning, in and out like rolling blackouts. The churning spindle above them paused, started, stopped, started, and finally stopped completely, dissipating. The pillars and candles blew out and away like they had never been, turning the cavern again into a thunderous ruckus as the demons’ voices found themselves again. But now there was no barrier between them and their victims.
Knowing the impact, the weight of the decision, and the truth of the matter, Xander scrambled to where Spike was swearing and swinging his sword as the demons advanced upon him. Tripping, stumbling, falling and flailing, Xander finally found his mate in the darkness.
“It’s time, Spike!” He screamed over the roar. Spike’s eyes flashed upon him, wet with tears and dark with knowledge. They’d known that this was the only way. They’d known that it would come to this. Oblivious to the attackers, Spike reached to Xander, pulling his ears close to his lips.
“'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide,” Spike yelled. “I love you, Xander!”
“I love you too, Spike. Forever!” Xander called back, smashing their lips together possessively and instinctively. One more glance at those eyes that had started it all, and he was ready.
His gaze staid fixed on Spike’s as he stepped back a few paces. So fixated was he on the man he loved, he barely felt it as the cold steel of the sword pierced his flesh, cutting deeply into his chest, through a heart that no longer beat, and came to rest against his spine.
Around them, it seemed a tempest had struck inside the cavern. Thunder struck and lightening flared, and Xander suddenly realized it was coming from within him. Snapping and lashing out from the sword in his chest, the storm was gathering its children, snatching the beasts back from a world that wasn’t theirs. The demons around them began to howl and cry ten-fold what they had before. But Xander couldn’t hear that. The only sound in his ears was that of Spike’s voice. Singing softly, deeply, as the shadows finally gave up their fight and began to funnel into him, through the weapon.
”the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so…”
There was silence, suddenly, as a bright light began to fill the room. Through the ivory light that seemed to whitewash everything in his vision, he could see his friends stumbling and running toward him. Willow was crying, held by a solemn-looking Tara. Buffy was screeching, sobbing, beating her fists against the floor of the cavern. Giles again had that far-away look on his face, like he wasn’t really here. But he was, had to be; tears were streaming freely down cheeks. But again, Spike’s voice called to him…from before, or from now, Xander couldn’t be sure…
”And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an ‘Ave’ there for me…”
Xander’s eyes found Spike’s once more, and to his pleasure, he found Spike smiling, almost laughing. His eyes, as bright as Xander could remember ever seeing them, were blazing and streaming tears that Xander wished he could wipe way. Wished for one more touch…one more day…
The light began to fade…or was it his vision? The room was going dark, still, quiet. He felt an overwhelming warmth spread through his limbs, and then there was only blackness. Only soft, fading words and trembling, quivering voice as he gave into the sensation of weightlessness that began to crawl over him…
“And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.”
...............
The End.
Yes
*ahem*
Because some of you think there is or isn't a character death and because some will freak out if it's imroperly marked, but because I don't want to spoil anyone that doesn't want to be, if you want to know if there's a charcater death, click the second livejournal link that says "Character Death, Yes or No" for your spoiler. Otherwise, this has been...wow, I just can't believe it's finally over. I hope you enjoy this FINAL CHAPTER!
Title: In Sunlight or Shadow (18/18)
Author:
chocgood84Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17 overall
Feedback: It's my anti-drug. So unless you want me start abusing chocolate and crack, please leave some.
Notes: Vamp!Xander series; the usual applies: blood play, smut, schmoop and man-luvin.
Previous parts: here.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be cannon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
“Again, I ask: Where is it?” Xander interjected. And once again, he wished he could keep his mouth shut.
“We already possess it, I’m afraid,” Giles whispered, looking up at everyone. “You are the sword, Xander.”
“Absolutely fucking not, Xander,” Spike shouted, slamming the bathroom door, or what was left of it, behind them.
“Spike,” Xander shouted back, checked himself, and lowered his voice. “Spike, we don’t have any choice. I have to do this.”
“Like hell you do!” Spike continued to yell. “You can’t. I’m not going to let them kill you, Xander. I’m not going to let you go.” Though his voice was still quite loud, he was losing steam. Xander could see the lights dying in his usually vibrant eyes. Could see the slight dip of the shoulders, the tiny drop in posture.
Xander stood from where he was leaning against the sink, reaching out to Spike. For a moment, Spike flinched – the spark of something still unkindled. Yet it was only brief, and Xander quickly found himself wrapped tightly in Spike’s arms with the older vampire rocking them slowly. The leather body he was mashed against quivered slightly, and Xander felt more than heard trembling lips singing out a soft lullaby, ancient and irksome.
"If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me, I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me…”
“I do love you, Spike,” Xander whispered. “Love you soo…love you enough to die once, remember?”
No words escaped the cold lips that continued to tremble against Xander’s neck and cheek. He was about to ask again, but finally Spike nodded. Slow, weary…wavering.
“That’s how much I love you, Spike. I gave my life for you,” Xander explained, running his fingers through unruly blond and brunette curls. “I gave my life to you. And then you brought me…back. And, Spike? I’ve never regretted it. You believe me, don’t you?”
Still no words, no movement, save for another faint nod. Xander felt wet against his flesh, realized that Spike was crying against his shoulder. And suddenly he wanted to laugh, laugh at all the watchers and slayers who thought demons couldn’t love – who thought demons had no hearts. Because right now, here, he felt his exploding with a protective fury that no fire could match and no winter could freeze. The love he felt for this vampire, this man that had given everything to him, had saved him, had taught him – this love was real. This love was…forever.
“I died for you once, Spike.” Xander whispered against tender flesh. “I’ll die for you again.”
“But…” Spike tried, raising his head and matching gazes with the man that had changed him from beast to lover. “What am I going to do?”
“You’ll do what you do best, Spike,” Xander answered, wiping the tears from Spike’s cheek with his thumbs. “You’ll remember; you’ll remember and you’ll love. You’ll remember and you’ll protect my family.”
“I love you, Xan. I know way back…I know I was a bastard. I know…I know I hurt you, hurt your friends,” Spike started to ramble, plunged into memories of days before the chip and before the soliders. Days before mortals and being kept. Days before…before he knew how nice it was to be loved. Loved this way. Loved this hard.
“Spike, you don’t have to say it,” Xander interrupted him by placing a finger against his lips. “I know everything, love. I know…I know I was hard to love. I know I wasn’t easy to even be around. I know that. You don’t owe me any apologies, Spike. You don’t owe me anything. You’ve…you’ve shown me more than I thought I would ever see. You’ve shown me…You’ve shown me the shadows -”
“And you’ve shown me the sunlight,” Spike finished. The tears were gone, and in their place were vibrant diamonds of pride and love, laughter and sorrow.
They melted together suddenly, like twin pillars of wax left to back in the sun. They found each other as if they’d been lost forever, and at the same time it felt they’d never parted. Lips against lips and flesh against flesh, they tasted themselves on each other; they tasted each other on themselves. With no heat from inside them, the fire that burned between them was one of ice, and yet it was more comforting, more enveloping, more natural than any flame or any heat could ever hope to obtain. Because this was them.
“Besides,” Xander morbidly joked when they broke their kiss, “it didn’t say I was going to die.”
“Xander, it’s an apocalypse – someone always has to die,” Spike reminded him, though with a faint smile in his eyes, soft laughter in his voice.
“Got me, there,” Xander admitted. “Come on, let’s go get the gang and kick some shifty shadowy darkness butt.”
”Xander, are you sure about this?” Buffy asked, pacing the living room and weaving in and out of piles of debris. “I mean, you don’t know…you could die.”
“Giles said possibly!” Willow yelped, hopping up from the couch. She realized there was nothing to do and shakily sat back down and balled her fists together in her lap.
“Quite right,” Giles interjected, rubbing his fingers against his temples absently. “The texts are not clear about what the results of…sacrifice could be.”
“Giles, be serious,” Buffy snapped. “Do you think Xander can survive this? Don’t tell me what you hope and don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Can he survive this?”
Giles was hesitant a moment, keeping his eyes downcast and covered with shadow. After a pause, he brought his head up to meet her blazing gaze.
“No, I don’t think so,” the watcher said sadly.
“It doesn’t matter, Buff,” Xander said stiffly. “It’s the only way.”
“I am not going to let you do this, Xander!” Buffy screamed, stomping ruefully towards him with a finger pointed wildly at him. “I am not going to let you die. There has to be another way, Giles.”
“I’m afraid there isn’t, Buffy. I wish there was, but there just isn’t…” Giles’ voice sounded so far away, full of static like a broken radio signal. His eyes, too, were peering out on an ocean of lost memories, of a son that wasn’t his and a man that was willing give the ultimate sacrifice.
“And you’re just going to let him, Spike?” Buffy shrieked, her face contorted in a caricature of pain and anger. “You’re going to let him…die?”
“I’d rather let you use me for a splinter pincushion than let him do it, Buffy,” Spike replied truthfully. “But there’s nothing you, nor I, can do about it.”
“He’s right, Buffy. I’ve made up my mind,” Xander stated.
For a single moment, it seemed like Buffy was gone. Her face became tranquil and her lips stopped quivering. Her eyes turned from blue to violet to blue, and finally a tear appeared there, on the apple of her cheek. Nodding her head slowly, unsurely, she went to Xander and put her arms tenderly around him. And then she began to sob.
Willow followed, entwining her arms between the others, holding on firmly to the only family she wanted, needed. She remembered a time, not long ago, that she had been jealous of Buffy because Xander loved her more. But now she realized that Xander’s love for her had been the reason he hadn’t succumbed to her ill-fated seduction. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And now, he was damning himself again to save her – to save them.
“I’m so sorry, Xander,” Buffy choked. “I don’t want to lose you. I wish…if only there was another way.”
“I think there is,” Tara half-whispered from the doorway.
They all turned to stare at her, shocked and confused. The witch’s hair was bright blonde now, almost glowing white - the color of sun, Xander realized - and her eyes were a bright shining emerald. She looked alive once more, and to their astonishment, she smiled widely at them.
“I think there’s another way,” she spoke.
"Are you sure this is going to work?” Buffy asked, wielding the torch in front of her and stopping at the mouth of the cave. Their trek back had been quiet and peaceful, and it put them all on edge.
“No,” Tara admitted. “But we have to try.”
“True enough,” Buffy remitted. “Are we ready?”
A quick check around the group revealed that everyone had their supplies. A moment of calm descended on them, and no one moved or even breathed as they looked from one to the next to the next person around them. No one mentioned the intense fear that was boiling within them or the alarming sense of faith that seemed to be slipping away like a lost ship at sea.
“Okay, I guess we’re going in. Remember, crowd around Tara until she gives the word. Then spread out as much as you can.”
They followed Buffy into the dark space again, and again they were met by that irksome silence that seemed wrong, somehow. And again, nothing attacked them as they made their way from room to room, space to space.
As planned before they left, they searched for and eventually found the chamber in which Giles had been held hostage. Buffy led them into the room, her axe held high and a bag of supplies slung over her shoulder. Behind her, Tara walked between Giles and Willow, her hair almost phosphorescent in the transcendent light of a lone gas lantern. Bringing up the back, Spike and Xander kept a watch behind them, alert to any sound or threat that might resound at any moment. Spike’s sword clinked mechanically against Xander’s own, metallic music for a nightmare soundtrack.
When they came to the center of the room, the five outer members circled Tara, their weapons held high and their chins held higher. Tara dropped to the floor of the chamber, throwing open her bag and splaying out the contents. The others dropped to one knee, turning their backs toward Tara and facing their invisible enemy. They emptied their bags on the floor in front of them. Each bag held a candle, a dagger, a crystal, and a vial of potion that Tara had mixed before they left.
In the center, Tara opened the vial, dripping the pasty liquid in a small circle in front of her. Inside the circle, she placed the crystal. She lit a match and touched it to the candle wick, passing it to the outer circle where first Buffy, then Giles, Willow, Spike and Xander lit their own candles. When the candle was returned, Tara drew a deep breath to steady herself.
“Get ready,” she whispered. The outer circle stood, their objects in hand.
“Ostendo sum res no absentis!” Tara boomed, her voice echoing through the room and into the other caverns. There was a sudden grumbling, and the floor beneath them began to roll slightly.
“Go, now!” Tara shouted as the rumbling grew to growling grew to thunder around them. The five members of the outer circle dispersed to the outer edges of the chamber, forming a larger circle around the room. Once there, they dropped to their knees and drew the potion circle in the dirt, placing the crystal within it.
“Ostendo sum res no absentis!” Tara screamed once more, and in less than an eye blink, the room was teaming with thousands upon thousands of the swirling black masses, diving and screeching at the victims come to be heroes.
Howling, screaming, flying, swooping, they came tearing at each of them, claws and shadows, death and darkness flying on wings made of nightmares. Yet still the candles burned, withstanding the assault and keeping the demons away from them for just a little while. More and more of the beasts came soaring into the now-claustrophobic cavern, filling the earth with noise and filling the air with darkness.
They’re like cockroaches, Xander thought for a moment, mesmerized by their teaming and writhing. Fucking insects, that’s all.
“Now!” He heard Tara scream through the explosions of sound around him. He raised his dagger and brought it down heavily on the crystal, piercing and severing it. A cloud of blue-green dust rose from it, and as he brought the candle down to the broken crystal, the cloud flared bright orange and violet, soaring to the ceiling of the room. The cloud turned to flame, reminding Xander of a Fourth of July firework he’d once set off in the basement.
Elsewhere in the cave, five other pillars of molten clouds streaked through the darkness, shooting towards the ceiling and wrapping around to meet each other. Above them, the ceiling that once had been stone now became a pulsing humming churning whirlpool of flame and smoke.
At once, the demons around them began to shriek louder, piercing everyone’s ears with the shrill needles of garish screams. And as soon as it was begun, the sound was stopped. The sound of dead space filled the room, for just a brief second before a loud sizzling and popping and finally a terrifying rrriiiiiiipppp made its way across the ceiling. The demons, silent but furious, swarmed like an angry hive of blood-seeking bees, launching straight at each member of the group. They did not succeed however, because the pillars of smoke and flame became a barrier they could not breech. Again, the room seemed to expand as still more and more of the beasts swelled and swirled around them.
Suddenly, the pillars began to flash, fading and returning, in and out like rolling blackouts. The churning spindle above them paused, started, stopped, started, and finally stopped completely, dissipating. The pillars and candles blew out and away like they had never been, turning the cavern again into a thunderous ruckus as the demons’ voices found themselves again. But now there was no barrier between them and their victims.
Knowing the impact, the weight of the decision, and the truth of the matter, Xander scrambled to where Spike was swearing and swinging his sword as the demons advanced upon him. Tripping, stumbling, falling and flailing, Xander finally found his mate in the darkness.
“It’s time, Spike!” He screamed over the roar. Spike’s eyes flashed upon him, wet with tears and dark with knowledge. They’d known that this was the only way. They’d known that it would come to this. Oblivious to the attackers, Spike reached to Xander, pulling his ears close to his lips.
“'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide,” Spike yelled. “I love you, Xander!”
“I love you too, Spike. Forever!” Xander called back, smashing their lips together possessively and instinctively. One more glance at those eyes that had started it all, and he was ready.
His gaze staid fixed on Spike’s as he stepped back a few paces. So fixated was he on the man he loved, he barely felt it as the cold steel of the sword pierced his flesh, cutting deeply into his chest, through a heart that no longer beat, and came to rest against his spine.
Around them, it seemed a tempest had struck inside the cavern. Thunder struck and lightening flared, and Xander suddenly realized it was coming from within him. Snapping and lashing out from the sword in his chest, the storm was gathering its children, snatching the beasts back from a world that wasn’t theirs. The demons around them began to howl and cry ten-fold what they had before. But Xander couldn’t hear that. The only sound in his ears was that of Spike’s voice. Singing softly, deeply, as the shadows finally gave up their fight and began to funnel into him, through the weapon.
”the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so…”
There was silence, suddenly, as a bright light began to fill the room. Through the ivory light that seemed to whitewash everything in his vision, he could see his friends stumbling and running toward him. Willow was crying, held by a solemn-looking Tara. Buffy was screeching, sobbing, beating her fists against the floor of the cavern. Giles again had that far-away look on his face, like he wasn’t really here. But he was, had to be; tears were streaming freely down cheeks. But again, Spike’s voice called to him…from before, or from now, Xander couldn’t be sure…
”And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an ‘Ave’ there for me…”
Xander’s eyes found Spike’s once more, and to his pleasure, he found Spike smiling, almost laughing. His eyes, as bright as Xander could remember ever seeing them, were blazing and streaming tears that Xander wished he could wipe way. Wished for one more touch…one more day…
The light began to fade…or was it his vision? The room was going dark, still, quiet. He felt an overwhelming warmth spread through his limbs, and then there was only blackness. Only soft, fading words and trembling, quivering voice as he gave into the sensation of weightlessness that began to crawl over him…
“And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.”
...............
The End.
Yes
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From:
no subject
I loved Tara's characterization throughout. She is such a goddess here and I give her little Lorraine kisses everywhere. *g*
Finally, this ending was very brave of you. I know you were afraid to kill Xander off, but I think you have to do what the fic wants and it wanted this. Brilliant job, luv. I'm proud of you for a great read.
From:
no subject
LOL. To bad I didn't save those, could publish them on their own. hehehe.
I think your use of "Danny Boy" is fucking brilliant and god-damn heartbreaking.
Thank you so so so much, luv. From the first time I heard Megan sing it, I knew I had to do something with it. Who could have guessed, eh?
I loved Tara's characterization throughout.
For me, there so much more that could have been done with Tara than just a vehicle for addiction consequences. I just loved her character so much on the show, and they didn't do her justice at all. I'm glad you like my Tara:)
Brilliant job, luv. I'm proud of you for a great read.
Thank you again, luv. Could NOT have done it without you. *huge hugs and sloppy snogs*
From:
no subject
"Xander’s eyes found Spike’s once more[...]" <--my favourite paragraph. makes me just want to curl up in bed cry, cause all those people ive ever cared about... how should i know if they realise that things here are fine?
heh. im sorry. i cant at all articulate this right now. lack of eloquence. overflow of emotion. you understand...
From:
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You owe me a Kleenex. And possibly a sequel. (But I highly doubt that last one, because this one just ended so perfectly.)
Love you bunches sweetie.
~Nebula
From:
no subject
Then my job here is done! *whoot*
*gives you a whole box of Puffs*
Thank ya muchly, babe. *hugs*
From:
the ending.... WWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
From:
Re: the ending.... WWAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
But thanks for sticking with it!
From:
no subject
Thanks for such a lovely fic.
From:
no subject
I'm so glad you liked it - the ending took a lot out of me, because I worried so much, but I think it was the right way to go.
Thank you so so much!
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Thank you, luv.
From:
no subject
This story was one word: touching.
And a whole lot of goodness. Thank you for writing this. It was beautiful.
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