Matthew Shepard

[synapticjava]

stonering's offer to knit me a scarf, the "Matt" scarf in memory of Matthew Shepard has stirred up a lot more feelings than I can physically handle right now.

Why us? Why him? Why can't people just accept it? Why do so many of us get bashed or killed, or kill ourselves? Why does it have to hurt so much because a great majority of us can't be honest with those who pretend to love us, can't be honest with ourselves?

It doesn't make sense to me - I don't understand it. Maybe someone can explain it to me, because it doesn't seem psychologically correct to hate a group of people with such a passion. It doesn't make sense to me that I can't walk down the street without fear. It doesn't sit well with me that though things are changing, that there's a *need* for things to change. Can someone please explain this to me? Can someone tell me why people hate at all?

Not just those in my community, but everywhere. Why do so many people get disgusted when a black person and a white person kiss? When a man and a man or a woman and a woman show affection?

Maybe I don't understand because I'm on the recieving end. Maybe I don't understand because there's something wrong with me. I just don't get it - why is it okay to beat the queer boy in the lunchroom or at recess until he has blood running down his face and scars so deep no surgeon or therapist can ever remove them. Why is it alright for a girl to be raped by some biggot who thinks he can show her the "right way"?

You know, one of the first things we're taught in psychology is that Hate is not a natural emotion - it is a learned emotion. It is a socially dependent emotion. WHY does society teach it? Why do we subject our children and our selves to the notion that if we hate someone we are better than them? If we kick someone while they're down, that makes us superior? If we take the control away from them, if we make them beg, if we make them bleed, if we make them die - we're better. What is wrong with us? What is wrong with all of us?

Maybe I'm naive and maybe I'm a simple minded person, but maybe that's the way we should all be.

Comments

[lunabee34.livejournal.com]

Heee...whatever you want baybeee!

[chocgood84.livejournal.com]

yay!