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Psst...remember this story I wrote in which I promised a sequel? Good news and bad news. Good - here's part two. Bad - decided to turn it into a series, so there's god knows how many parts left. And, I'm testing the waters with this, so it's a little shorter than the last part. Course, you know, feedback kinda speeds the writing process along;)
Title: In Sunlight or in Shadow (2/?)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84 (chocgood84 @ livejournal.com)
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Notes: Sleeping Beauty fic, AU, character death
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be cannon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
The first thing he was aware of was a sweet, low, so very soft voice. Humming, whispering words to an ancient song. He felt strong arms crushing him, rocking him back and forth, softly, gently. His face felt wet, droplets of water falling upon it.
The soft voice was so amazing, so transforming, like liquid velvet to Xander’s ears. He wanted to listen to the words forever, so he stayed still. He said nothing, made no movement. He continued to be cradled in the arms of this strong creature, listening to the words he knew but never cared about until now.
“…back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so…”
The voice paused as the man gasped for air, and Xander could feel the cold breath of a shiver running through body he rested on. The arms only clasped him tighter, squeezing him almost painfully. The song resumed after a moment of stifled sobbing.
“And…and if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an ‘Ave’ there for me…”
Another pause as the muscles around him flexed, loosening and tightening once more. Another rattling breath from the man with the golden voice, the lyrics now turning only to ghosts of whispers that Xander could only just make out.
“…I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me…”
“Oh God, love! Please come back to me! Come back to me, please, Xander! Don’t leave me here…please…please…” Xander realized that the drops on his face were tears. Then he realized, swimming out of the blackness, that they were Spike’s tears. Spike was…alive!
Xander struggled to open his eyes. It seemed as if his entire body was broken, stiff as if he’d been encased in plaster. He was so cold.
Suddenly it felt like someone had charged him with electric voltage, currents screaming though his body. He could feel every cell and particle in his body firing with raw energy, boiling and steaming through him at a million miles per second.
He could finally open his eyes, and as he did so, memory came gushing back to him: the demon, the temple, the alter, Spike!. He remembered…dying to save the vampire. But…he wasn’t dead.
His eyes fluttered but eventually stayed open to reveal the chamber as he’d last seen it, gold and light and darkness and shadows. Surreal yet too real, sharper somehow to his overly sensitive eyes.
More importantly, he saw above him the vampire he’d sacrificed his life for. Smooth white skin contorted in a fit of pain, of hatred and rage. Eyes sewn shut as tears poured forth, salting Xander’s flesh, cold and damp. Tiny sobs and heavy breaths escaped the vampire’s throat, squeezing past dried and cracked lips that were too pale, even for him.
He reached a trembling hand up to touch the cool flesh of Spike’s cheek, cupping it, caressing it, electrical jolt quickfiring through his body.
Spike gasped, his eyes bursting open to peer down at the man in his arms. At once the tears and the sobs resided, only to return at the beauty of the vision before him.
“Xan, love?” Spike choked, his throat raw.
“S-Spike…Spike?” Xander whispered, tiny stabs of pain deep in his chest. Tears rose in him as well.
“Oh God, Xander…” Spike began, choosing rather to pull Xander into a stone crushing embrace. Xander returned the gesture, clinging to this wonderful creature he had given his life for.
“Wait…” Xander realized, pulling back so he could see Spike’s face.
“Spike…Spike, does this mean that I’m…I’m like you?” Xander realized he wasn’t breathing. He looked to his hands on Spike’s shoulders – deathly white. His enquiring gaze returned to Spike’s sad face.
Blue eyes turned black, coals dancing with the reflected flame of the eternal torches. Black eyes cast down, head bowing.
“I…I’m so sorry, Xander. Couldn’t live without you. Didn’t – Didn’t want to. Please, love, please don’t leave me.” So much anguish and guilt in those words. Fresh tears stained his alabaster cheeks.
“Oh, Spike.” Xander thrust himself forward, enveloping the vampire in strong arms, comfortee becoming comforter.
They stayed there for some time, rocking slowly as they grieved together, silent tears carrying away the doubt, the pain, the guilt. Each cried for the loss of a human life and for the birth of an eternal love. Spike mourned for his fallen angel, Xander mourned for this hero’s guilt.
After a time, they both realized they were crying no more; they were empty of tears, had nothing left to cry.
“Spike, it’s okay. It’s okay. Look, I’m still me…I thought it changed you…But I’m still me.” Xander whispered, suddenly feeling the power rolling through his limbs. “Stronger, uh, paler. But, me.”
“God, Xander…” Spike buried his head against Xander’s neck, that tender area between shoulder and cheek. A silent shiver zipped through Xander’s body.
“Spike?” Xander asked, his voice small but in no way timid. The blonde vampire sighed against him, shuddering, shoulders heaving in silent sobs of anguished guilt.
“Spike,” Xander repeated, slight tinge of command in his voice. Spike looked up from he clanged to Xander’s arms, a puzzled look crossing those sharp features. “Spike…how long have I been, uh -”
“Two days, luv. I wasn’t sure if it…would work. Never done this before, and I th-thought –”
“It’s okay, love. Spike, I’m back. I’m alive. Okay, not alive, but not dead!”
As if he was trying to confirm it for himself, Spike’s hands made a thorough stroke and caress of every piece of Xander’s body. As if somehow he was real now, but moments before had been immaterial.
“Xander, luv…I-” Spike began, the tears and unneeded breaths finally slowing to nothing. “You shouldn’t have done that, pet. Shouldn’t have given your life. I didn’t want you t-to…”
“Spike, it’s okay. See? I’m fine. I just need…I need you, Spike. Couldn’t stand what I did…those things that I said to you. Those awful things. I didn’t mean it, Spike. I didn’t-”
“Yes you did, Xander.” Spike said, his gaze meeting, challenging the new vampire, his childe.
“I, okay, yeah. I meant it. At the time. But, I’ve been thinking since then. A lot. All the time. Spike, I don’t care anymore. Don’t care what they’ll say. Don’t care how I have you. I need you, Spike. I’m…God, I’m so sorry.” Now it was Xander’s turn to weep as thick drops of liquid pain ebbed and streaked down his ashen cheeks. And for once, he didn’t feel the need to hide them, didn’t want to hide them.
“Xander. Shit, Xander. I can’t…just stay, okay? Please, luv? Don’t – don’t leave me, pet. Please don’t leave me.” Spike’s eyes were wide, trusting.
Maybe it was his new enhanced vision, but for the first time Xander noticed that Spike’s eyes weren’t merely blue. At the epicenters were rings of violet and crimson, and at the outer edge of the irises existed a single tiny thread of silver. Xander shivered, feeling hypnosis crawling into his own eyes. He shook his head to be rid of the dizzying sensation.
“Won’t, Spike…” Xander pulled Spike closer as Spike’s own arms wrapped around him just a little tighter. He pressed his lips tight against the violent locks Spike’s head. Gently, softly, fiercely and savagely. Nothing was the same anymore. Nothing was as it was.
“Never leave you, Spike.” He whispered quietly against the scent of spice and smoke and iron. And again, he felt the tears pouring, driving the pain and fear and doubt away. Rafting what once had been his life and his death like a tide of thundering water and rushing wind.
They stayed like that for what felt like eternity, possessing and clinging to each other, making each other real. Trying to etch the memory of this moment into their retinas and the stone tableau of their minds. Trying to discern the difference between reality and what their new lives held in store for them.
Title: In Sunlight or in Shadow (2/?)
Author:
chocgood84 (chocgood84 @ livejournal.com)Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Notes: Sleeping Beauty fic, AU, character death
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be cannon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
The first thing he was aware of was a sweet, low, so very soft voice. Humming, whispering words to an ancient song. He felt strong arms crushing him, rocking him back and forth, softly, gently. His face felt wet, droplets of water falling upon it.
The soft voice was so amazing, so transforming, like liquid velvet to Xander’s ears. He wanted to listen to the words forever, so he stayed still. He said nothing, made no movement. He continued to be cradled in the arms of this strong creature, listening to the words he knew but never cared about until now.
“…back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so…”
The voice paused as the man gasped for air, and Xander could feel the cold breath of a shiver running through body he rested on. The arms only clasped him tighter, squeezing him almost painfully. The song resumed after a moment of stifled sobbing.
“And…and if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an ‘Ave’ there for me…”
Another pause as the muscles around him flexed, loosening and tightening once more. Another rattling breath from the man with the golden voice, the lyrics now turning only to ghosts of whispers that Xander could only just make out.
“…I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me…”
“Oh God, love! Please come back to me! Come back to me, please, Xander! Don’t leave me here…please…please…” Xander realized that the drops on his face were tears. Then he realized, swimming out of the blackness, that they were Spike’s tears. Spike was…alive!
Xander struggled to open his eyes. It seemed as if his entire body was broken, stiff as if he’d been encased in plaster. He was so cold.
Suddenly it felt like someone had charged him with electric voltage, currents screaming though his body. He could feel every cell and particle in his body firing with raw energy, boiling and steaming through him at a million miles per second.
He could finally open his eyes, and as he did so, memory came gushing back to him: the demon, the temple, the alter, Spike!. He remembered…dying to save the vampire. But…he wasn’t dead.
His eyes fluttered but eventually stayed open to reveal the chamber as he’d last seen it, gold and light and darkness and shadows. Surreal yet too real, sharper somehow to his overly sensitive eyes.
More importantly, he saw above him the vampire he’d sacrificed his life for. Smooth white skin contorted in a fit of pain, of hatred and rage. Eyes sewn shut as tears poured forth, salting Xander’s flesh, cold and damp. Tiny sobs and heavy breaths escaped the vampire’s throat, squeezing past dried and cracked lips that were too pale, even for him.
He reached a trembling hand up to touch the cool flesh of Spike’s cheek, cupping it, caressing it, electrical jolt quickfiring through his body.
Spike gasped, his eyes bursting open to peer down at the man in his arms. At once the tears and the sobs resided, only to return at the beauty of the vision before him.
“Xan, love?” Spike choked, his throat raw.
“S-Spike…Spike?” Xander whispered, tiny stabs of pain deep in his chest. Tears rose in him as well.
“Oh God, Xander…” Spike began, choosing rather to pull Xander into a stone crushing embrace. Xander returned the gesture, clinging to this wonderful creature he had given his life for.
“Wait…” Xander realized, pulling back so he could see Spike’s face.
“Spike…Spike, does this mean that I’m…I’m like you?” Xander realized he wasn’t breathing. He looked to his hands on Spike’s shoulders – deathly white. His enquiring gaze returned to Spike’s sad face.
Blue eyes turned black, coals dancing with the reflected flame of the eternal torches. Black eyes cast down, head bowing.
“I…I’m so sorry, Xander. Couldn’t live without you. Didn’t – Didn’t want to. Please, love, please don’t leave me.” So much anguish and guilt in those words. Fresh tears stained his alabaster cheeks.
“Oh, Spike.” Xander thrust himself forward, enveloping the vampire in strong arms, comfortee becoming comforter.
They stayed there for some time, rocking slowly as they grieved together, silent tears carrying away the doubt, the pain, the guilt. Each cried for the loss of a human life and for the birth of an eternal love. Spike mourned for his fallen angel, Xander mourned for this hero’s guilt.
After a time, they both realized they were crying no more; they were empty of tears, had nothing left to cry.
“Spike, it’s okay. It’s okay. Look, I’m still me…I thought it changed you…But I’m still me.” Xander whispered, suddenly feeling the power rolling through his limbs. “Stronger, uh, paler. But, me.”
“God, Xander…” Spike buried his head against Xander’s neck, that tender area between shoulder and cheek. A silent shiver zipped through Xander’s body.
“Spike?” Xander asked, his voice small but in no way timid. The blonde vampire sighed against him, shuddering, shoulders heaving in silent sobs of anguished guilt.
“Spike,” Xander repeated, slight tinge of command in his voice. Spike looked up from he clanged to Xander’s arms, a puzzled look crossing those sharp features. “Spike…how long have I been, uh -”
“Two days, luv. I wasn’t sure if it…would work. Never done this before, and I th-thought –”
“It’s okay, love. Spike, I’m back. I’m alive. Okay, not alive, but not dead!”
As if he was trying to confirm it for himself, Spike’s hands made a thorough stroke and caress of every piece of Xander’s body. As if somehow he was real now, but moments before had been immaterial.
“Xander, luv…I-” Spike began, the tears and unneeded breaths finally slowing to nothing. “You shouldn’t have done that, pet. Shouldn’t have given your life. I didn’t want you t-to…”
“Spike, it’s okay. See? I’m fine. I just need…I need you, Spike. Couldn’t stand what I did…those things that I said to you. Those awful things. I didn’t mean it, Spike. I didn’t-”
“Yes you did, Xander.” Spike said, his gaze meeting, challenging the new vampire, his childe.
“I, okay, yeah. I meant it. At the time. But, I’ve been thinking since then. A lot. All the time. Spike, I don’t care anymore. Don’t care what they’ll say. Don’t care how I have you. I need you, Spike. I’m…God, I’m so sorry.” Now it was Xander’s turn to weep as thick drops of liquid pain ebbed and streaked down his ashen cheeks. And for once, he didn’t feel the need to hide them, didn’t want to hide them.
“Xander. Shit, Xander. I can’t…just stay, okay? Please, luv? Don’t – don’t leave me, pet. Please don’t leave me.” Spike’s eyes were wide, trusting.
Maybe it was his new enhanced vision, but for the first time Xander noticed that Spike’s eyes weren’t merely blue. At the epicenters were rings of violet and crimson, and at the outer edge of the irises existed a single tiny thread of silver. Xander shivered, feeling hypnosis crawling into his own eyes. He shook his head to be rid of the dizzying sensation.
“Won’t, Spike…” Xander pulled Spike closer as Spike’s own arms wrapped around him just a little tighter. He pressed his lips tight against the violent locks Spike’s head. Gently, softly, fiercely and savagely. Nothing was the same anymore. Nothing was as it was.
“Never leave you, Spike.” He whispered quietly against the scent of spice and smoke and iron. And again, he felt the tears pouring, driving the pain and fear and doubt away. Rafting what once had been his life and his death like a tide of thundering water and rushing wind.
They stayed like that for what felt like eternity, possessing and clinging to each other, making each other real. Trying to etch the memory of this moment into their retinas and the stone tableau of their minds. Trying to discern the difference between reality and what their new lives held in store for them.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
From:
no subject
That is so good it hurts. Love that Spike turned Xander and Xander's happy with it. They're together and they can make a new future for themselves and it's just great!
From:
no subject
Oh! *tear* Thank you, luv!
More coming soon! Maybe even tomorrow night (although no promises)!!!
From:
no subject
SO happy you wrote more of this!
~Nebula
From:
no subject
Isn't that a gorgeous song!? And *so* perfect for a turning!fic.
can you blame me when it's fantastic?
Awww! Thank you so much, honey! *bounce* *hugs*
More soon!
From:
no subject
Interesting developement!!
*bounce*
Nice stuff, bay-bee.
From:
no subject
Thanks, bebe! *bounces with you*
From:
no subject
More, please!
From:
no subject
Actually, just posted part three if you didn't see it!
Thanks, luv - more soon *g*
From:
no subject
I think your icons purdy, too. :)
From:
no subject
Been there, done that more than I care to admit *g*
Thanks:)