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Hey all
Title: Secrets and Cages (pt. 3, finale)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84 (chocgood84 @ livejournal.com)
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17 (this part)
Notes: AU, schmoop, sex, and drugs.
Previous Parts found here.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be canon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
The last guest left about an hour later, just before the clock struck three. Giles closed the door, and all eight of them collapsed where they were, some onto nearby chairs or stools, a few right to the floor.
“Oh dear, look at this mess,” Giles sighed. The place was pretty messed up. Plastic party cups everywhere, plates with cake and pretzels and assortments of candy wrappers laying on various ledges and littering the floor and stairs. Knocked over candles with spilt wax covering quite a bit of the woodwork. Giles sighed again.
“Don’t worry, Giles. We’ll clean it up.” Willow offered from where she lay on the floor.
“Hey! Speak for yourself, Red. M’not cleaning anything.” Spike called from over by the windows.
“Shut up, Spike. Why were you even here anyway? Giles, we’ll stay until everything is cleaned up.” Buffy called out from her position on top of the card table, having cleared everything off onto the floor, her arms and legs dangling off the sides.
“No!” Giles said a bit too enthusiastically. “I mean, no, that’s quite alright. I’ll clean up tomorrow. I think tonight I’ll just load the dishwasher with the first round of dishes, and go to sleep. For a rather long time, I might add.”
“Well, the least we can do is help move the furniture back down from the loft,” Oz said from his place on the stairs. “Come on, Angel, woops, I mean Spike –“
“You’re about two words from getting that nasty little full moon problem taken care of, Wolf; permanently.” Spike growled. “’Sides, I got much better hair than that ponce.” The rest of them just groaned. Much to everyone’s surprise, Spike actually did get up and walk up the stairs with Oz to start bringing the furniture down.
Tara cleared her throat rather loudly, and nudged Xander in the ribs with her elbow. Xander glared at her, but he knew she was right. Now or never, I guess.
“Uh, hey guys?” Xander asked, moving out of the way as Oz and Spike set down the couch where him and Tara were previously sitting. Spike just looked at him and smiled, which gave Xander all the confidence he needed. “I kinda need to talk to you about something. Sort of important.”
Buffy perked her head up and groaned as she got up from the table, coming over and making the “oof” sound as she fell into the couch. Willow and Anya followed suit, and Giles pulled himself away from the wall he was leaning against and came to lean against the back of the couch. Tara stood in the corner, until Oz brought down a chair for her to sit in, followed by Spike with the coffee table.
“Uh, well. It’s not easy to say, so uh, hear me out, okay?” Xander said, avoiding eye contact. He could tell everyone was looking at him, concern on their faces, not a single one of them tired anymore. He looked up as Spike and Oz brought down the desk, the last of the big stuff, and hopped up on it. Spike again just looked at him, smiling warmly with that little star in his eye.
“Sure Xander, just spit it out.” Buffy said. Willow nodded and Anya shrugged. Giles said and did nothing, but he had a knowing look on his face.
“Uh, well, okay. Well, you know we’ve all kind of been doing our own thing the last year or so. And that’s cool and whatever, but we all know we’ve kind of uh, grown apart a little? Ever since you girls went to college,” Oz ahemed from where he sat next to Spike. “Ever since you and Oz went off to college, we don’t really hang out like we used to. I guess we’ve all got our own lives, now, and – “
“Oh God, Xander, I’m sorry. You don’t feel like we left you behind do you, Xander?” Willow said, a vague look of horror across her pale face. She almost reached out to touch him, but thought twice about it. Instead, she sat there and looked awkward, exchanging glances with the other girls.
“What, no? No, I mean, yeah, I did for a while. Until the whole Adam thing, but I got over it. We all gotta grow up, right? No, this isn’t about that. This is something different.”
“Well what is it, Xander? We haven’t got all night. Some of us would like to have sex before falling asleep,” Anya interjected, causing Spike to snort behind her.
Xander looked back at Tara, who just nodded and smiled at him. Spike did the same.
“Well, I had this whole speech prepared and everything, but if you’ve got more important things to do, I’ll cut straight to it. Heh, no pun intended.” Xander laughed nervously. “See, the thing is –“
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you!?” Anya shouted. Willow, Buffy, and Giles all looked at her like she was crazy.
“What!? No, no, I’m not pregnant.” Xander squeaked.
“Not you, her.” Anya replied, gesturing towards Tara who was laughing pretty hard. Spike and Oz, too, were laughing. Xander had to try hard not to.
“No, no, Tara isn’t pregnant. At least not that I know of. Besides, we’re just friends…we met at a group at UCSD called the ‘Scarlet Letters’. I went there after I realized I’m gay.” He finally just spit it out.
Four jaws and eight eyes gaped at him, no one sure quite what to say. Willow was doing a pretty good imitation of a fish, and Buffy looked like she’d just taken her French final.
“Gay?” Willow asked. Xander nodded.
“So, what, you like boys? Welcome to club, Xander Harris. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got my own boy to do fun things to.” Anya said, seeming somewhat put out by his explanation. “And next time you’ve got some secret, just say it. Jesus, we have lives, you know.” And with that, she grabbed her coat off the rack by the door, which she slammed behind her on her way out.
“Gay?” Willow asked again. Xander nodded again.
Giles started to say something, but went into Britspeak that Xander didn’t quite catch. The gist of it seemed to be okay, though. Buffy was still staring at him with that blank look on her face. No one said anything for a second.
“Gay?” Willow repeated. Xander repeated his response. Again.
“Okay, so you’re gay. Okay, I can deal. As long as you’re happy, Xander. You’re happy, right?” Buffy asked. Well look who finally joined the party, Xander thought.
“I am…But there’s more.” Xander looked up and found Spike smiling proudly at him. Oz gave him a thumbs up, and Tara had joined the two of them, he head resting on Oz’s shoulder. She was grinning to, and nodded to him. “You’re so not going to like this, but uh, me and Spike…we’re, together, I guess?” Spike nodded to him. “Yeah, together.”
“Spike’s gay?” Willow asked. Xander gave the usual reply.
“Xander, have you lost your mind?” Giles asked. “You are aware that’s the same vampire that’s tried to kill you at least ten times, right?”
“Fourteen, actually.” Xander corrected.
Giles huffed, and meanwhile Buffy had retreated to Blank Face™.
“So that make’s it better?” Spike snarled, causing Giles to make his way around to the side of the couch, instead of having his back turned to the vampire.
“Actually, no, Giles, it doesn’t. But we’ve talked about all that now, and, I know he won’t hurt me. He loves me, Giles. I love him too.”
“You’re both gay?” Willow stuttered. Xander nodded.
“Well, you’re going to do what you want, but I want to go on record as saying I think this is a bad idea, Xander. I don’t agree with your choice in partners, but thank you for telling us.” Giles said, extending his hand. Xander took it, and pulled the older man into a hug. The hug was returned, and Xander gave a huge sigh of relief.
“Uh, what he said.” Buffy said, still staring off into space, but pointing towards Giles. “I guess…I mean, I sooo don’t approve of the Bleached Menace being allowed to touch you in your no-no, and dear God someone stop me before I finish that sentence.” And Buffy was back with the literate. Yay!
She got up from her place on the couch and came over and gave Xander a hug too, this one hard enough for him to make a “squeak” noise. Buffy blushed, and backed off a little.
“You are gay. Spike is gay. Oz is gay.” Willow muttered, still doing the old fish routine.
“Actually, I’m bi, Willow.” Oz called from where he sat. Everyone turned to look at him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Meanwhile, Tara was practically bouncing with delight, so happy for Xander.
“You’re gay. Spike is gay. And Oz likes boys and girls.” Xander nodded.
“No.” She said, simply. Everyone turned to look at her like she’d finally popped her top.
“Huh?” Xander asked.
“I said, no. No, Xander you’re not gay.” Willow said, matter-of-factly.
“Um, Wills? S’not really a yes or no kind of a thing.”
“You can’t be gay, Xander. You and my ex-boyfriend cannot both be gay. Spike, yeah, I kinda figured, but you cannot be gay.”
“Once again, not making with the gay,” Oz called. Tara turned and clasped a hand over his mouth, shushing him.
“Uh, well, I am, Willow.”
“No, you can’t be, Xander. What about Cordelia? What about me? What everything in High School? What was all that?”
Xander shrank back a little before he said “Um, experimenting?”
To which Willow started shrieking. She jumped up off the couch, screaming at Xander.
“No, Xander Harris, I can’t accept that. I’ve known you all my life, and if you’re gay, I would have known. You can’t just ‘turn gay’, Xander.” She shouted in his face. Xander saw Spike start to stand, but Tara held his arm, trying to stop him.
“Wills, look. I didn’t even know back then, there’s now way you could have known. But I’m telling you now. If this is about the Spike thing, it just kind of happened. I mean, come on, we’ve been friends for-“
“Exactly, Xander. We’ve been friends since we could walk. Evidently, that doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me.” Willow was furious, and the air around her buzzed with energy. Xander could practically see the sparks sizzling out of thin air above her head.
“Come on, Willow. We haven’t exactly been there for Xander the last few mo-“ Buffy began.
“Don’t you dare, Buffy. Don’t you try to make excuses for him. Just because you both seem to have a thing for vampires.”
“That’s a fucking low blow, Red. You better shut your mouth; you’ve no idea how hard it is for him to tell you.” Spike exclaimed, Tara still holding fast to his arm. Giles just stood there gawking at the scene taking place in his living room, and Oz looked so dejected. Wonder if she took it this bad when he told her, Xander wondered.
“Shut up, Spike. No one fucking asked you.” Willow snapped at him. “You don’t know. Don’t you remember, you were the one destroyed everything, anyway. Or don’t you remember, Xander?” Willow turned to him, bright red flashing in her dark eyes.
“Don’t go there, Willow. That’s not something you want to bring up right now.” Xander managed through gritted teeth.
“Willow, really, I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up past mistakes in the face of this…er, right now.” Giles stated.
Xander could tell that Buffy was starting to get heated as well, and as he looked around, he was both proud and anguished at the scene. Everyone had taken his being gay, and hell, even his relationship with Spike, well. Everyone, that is, except the one person who at one time had been as close as a sister. Those days are gone, he thought sourly.
“What, so this is how it is? This is how everyone’s going to act, now? Everyone’s ganging up on me instead of the one who’s lying? I don’t need this,” Willow screamed. She stormed over to the door, grabbed her coat. Xander ran after her, stopping her as she grabbed the knob.
“Willow, no one’s ganging up on you. No one here is against you. We’re all just…upset, that’s all. I still love you, Wills, you know that. This is just something that you have to…accept. It took a look time for me to accept it, and I don’t expect you to do it overnight. Just, please, tell me we’ll be okay?” Xander pleaded, surprised yet comforted by the strong arm on his shoulder and a soft hand on his forearm.
“You know, Xander, after everything, after all we’ve been through. I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” Willow said, still facing away, her voice waivering.
She opened the door and ran out, leaving it open. Xander was barely aware of Oz coming to Xander and telling him he’d go after her, talk to her, and leaving. The only thing Xander knew was the comfort of Spike’s crushing embrace, the soft words of Tara in his ear, and the hole that Willow had put in his chest.
****
It was almost dawn by the time they reached Xander’s apartment. Neither Spike nor Xander had spoken the entire drive home. A tight hug and chaste “Xander? Call me later, okay? Please?” from Tara when they dropped her off at the dorm. Right now all Xander wanted was to crawl into his bed and curl up against Spike and fall asleep and never wake up. Fall asleep and never move from his place next to Spike.
Once locked inside his apartment, Xander went through the motions of taking off his clothes, starting the water for the shower, turning down his bed. He found Spike in the kitchen, hunched over a hot mug of blood, his costume still on.
Xander went straight to him, and hugged him tight, leaning down to kiss the vampire. Spike looked up, smiling, and Xander returned the smile, though his was broken and tear-stained. He said nothing, and went in to take his shower.
When he came out, he found the door unlocked, and Spike gone. A slight stab of fresh pain ran through him, when he thought maybe Spike had run off instead of dealing with this. But he found a note on the table:
“Out of fags, ran out to get some, Spike”
Xander realized with a start that Spike’s costume wasn’t here, which meant he was still wearing it. He laughed at that, a brittle and hurtful laugh.
He debated whether to wait in the kitchen for him, but decided on heading into the bedroom. He went through the apartment turning off lights and closing all the shades, making it vampire-friendly. No way did I go through all of that to find a pile of ashes where my boyfriend used to be, in the morning.
He shrugged off the bathrobe and crawled under the soft comforter, enjoying the warmth of the electric blanket. Wow, I’ve had this place rigged up for a vampire live-in for quite a while, apparently. He gave a genuine chuckle at that.
He was just dosing off when he heard the door open and close, the lock turn. He heard Spike’s Doc Martens hit the floor one at a time kaplunk kaplunk. A minute later, Spike came to the bedroom door holding a brown paper bag and still wearing his costume.
“How ya feeling, pet?” He asked from the doorway.
“Better, now. Right now, though, I think sleep is good. Gonna get in bed with me?” Xander asked, noting the flash of gold that ran through Spike’s eyes.
“In just a bit, pet. Wanna show you what I bought.”
Xander sat up in bed, a smile on his weary face. “What’dya buy?”
“Now, now, have patience, love.” Spike smirked. He reached slowly into the bag and pulled out a carton of menthols.
“Oh boy, Spike! Cigarettes, yay!” Xander feigned excitement. Spike flipped him off.
“Be good, or no surprise treat for you.” Another sexy smirk.
“Oooh, a surprise?” Xander perked up.
Spike pulled out a rather large Hershey’s bar, and tossed it to Xander who was bouncing like…well, like Xander who had been given chocolate.
“Anything else?” Xander asked, tearing open the foil wrapper and shoving a huge piece of chocolate into his mouth.
“Just a moment, love.” And Spike disappeared from the door. Xander could hear the crinkling of the bag in the hallway, and the sound of a zipper. When he reappeared in the doorway, Xander almost choked on his chocolate.
There in the doorway stood Spike in his costume from the party, with a few alterations. The white leather harness over his bare chest was still in place, as well s the feather wings. Only, instead of the white feather halo he had been wearing earlier, there were two red horns, and instead of the white leather chaps he had been wearing, Spike was wearing a silver-studded black leather thong with a rather obvious bulge.
“Now that’s what I call an angel,” Xander managed to say, though it was difficult considering all the blood had rushed out of his head, at least the one with the brain.
Spike strutted over achingly slow to stand directly in front of Xander.
“So, pet, ever made love to a fallen angel before?” Spike uttered, pure sex rolling off his tongue like dew off a melon. A well-built alabaster melon with perfect pecs, Xander managed to think. And why am I thinking, again?
Xander threw the chocolate to the floor, flung away the covers, and grabbed Spike’s hands, pulling him down on top of him, crushing their mouths together. Spike sighed into Xander’s chocolate kiss, his hands beginning to roam and explore the human’s body.
They lay like that for a few moments, tasting and mapping each other’s mouths, while their hands learned every crevice and every bump and every dip in each other’s body. Hot met cold and dark met light, melting together.
Spike began a slow grinding against Xander’s naked body, his hands tugging softly on Xander’s hair. Xander let out a sharp gasp when Spike leaned down to lick his neck from shoulder to earlobe, stopping to nibble softly on that tender sensuous flesh. He moved lower and lower down Xander’s body, stopping every few kisses to nibble and taste and caress with his hands, lathing Xander’s nipples and touching every piece of human flesh he could. Xander writhed in ecstasy at the vampire’s touch, moaning and ranting of gods and pleasure.
Spike inhaled Xander’s cock in one downward nod of his head, causing the human to scream loudly. Up and down and back and forth, and Xander felt like all of his senses had come alive and that he was slowly losing his mind. Losing it to the pleasure Spike was giving him.
He screamed aloud again as Spike entered him slowly with one long nimble finger, pressing deep into him. Spike pulled out so slow while dipping his head slower and deeper, in and out and up and down. A second finger and Xander gasped, clawing at the sheets, and Spike’s hair, at anything he could touch and grasp. A third finger and Spike began to suck harder.
“Spike, Spike I’m close, no please, stop, I want to wait for you. Please, oooohhhh God Spike!” So very close, and the vampire stopped moving completely, stopped pressing and stopped sucking. Xander thought he had gone insane because there was no movement, no sound besides his own erratic breathing, his own thundering heartbeat.
Spike stood up, removing the thong and Xander gasped at the beauty that was his vampire, screaming at him to “Fuck, me, Spike, please, fuck me!”
Spike leant down and crushed Xander into another kiss, this one desperate and hard, bruising Xander’s lips. Xander didn’t care, all he wanted was THAT!, he screamed inside his head as Spike thrust into him, pelvis to pelvis, flesh to flesh, love to love. Xander screamed again as Spike pounded back into him, hard and fast. Again and again Xander screamed and shouted as again and again Spike pulled and pushed and pounded and thrust, until finally Xander could scream no more, could only gasp and moan and repeat his lovers name over and over again.
At last, Spike began to speed up, going harder and faster, gripping Xander’s hip in one hand hard enough to bruise, and stroking Xander’s cock with the other. Thrust in, stroke up, thrust out, stroke down until finally they both cried out their final profession of ecstasy as Xander exploded onto his chest, his face coated in his own cum, and felt Spike spasm inside him, filling Xander with what felt like gallons of his seed.
Spike pulled out of Xander and collapsed on top of the human. He stuck out his tongue, licking the stuff off Xander’s chin, and pulling Xander in for another hard kiss, exchanging the taste of him. Both men were breathing and gasping for air, and after a bit, Xander’s breathing slowed to at least a safe level and Spike’s ceased.
Spike still lay on top of Xander, who was caressing the vampire’s back with his hands, slick with sweat and cum.
“God, love. That was…that was…fucking fantastic!” Spike managed to get out.
“I uh, I, um, uh,” was all Xander could manage as far as the English language went, so he went back to making idle patterns on his lover’s back and shoulders, enjoying the weight on top of him and the soft kisses Spike was placing anywhere he could reach.
Sometime later, they fell asleep, wrapped in each others’ arms.
****
Xander was woken in the late afternoon by the phone ringing. He found that Spike was still on top of him. When he tried to roll them over, he found they were stuck together. Hmmm…that’s kind of gross, Xander thought, despite the twitch his cock gave at the memory of the act.
Deciding not to wake Spike up by prying himself away, and wanting more sleep anyway, Xander ignored the phone and passed out once more.
****
When he next woke, it was to Spike smiling down at him. Xander smiled and reached up to place a kiss on the vampire’s lips.
“Was wondering when you were gonna wake up. I wanna smoke a fag, but we’re – “
“I know. We’re stuck together. I noticed earlier, but didn’t want to wake you.” Xander replied.
“Don’t know how you could sleep. That damned phone has been ringing all afternoon,” Spike said, still smiling at his human.
“Well, Spike. Now that we’re both awake, how about we pry ourselves away, literally, take a shower, and see what’s to eat.”
“Sounds good to me, love. I’m starving. Although, I wouldn’t mind staying like this for a few more centuries.” Spike said, kissing Xander again. Xander could feel them both starting to get hard again, and he was instantly aware of being human.
“Get off, Spike!” Xander half-shouted, surprising Spike. He pushed the vampire up quickly, wincing at the “riiiiippppp” sound their skin made as they pulled apart.
He ran into the bathroom and barely made it in time. Spike came sauntering in a moment later, laughing softly to himself, walking to the shower and starting the water.
“What’s so funny?” Xander asked, not even half way done.
“You’re like a bloody racehorse, you know that?” Spike asked.
“Well, uh, gosh, thanks,” Xander blushed.
“Not that, although, okay, that too, but I mean every morning it seems like you have to take a piss for ten minutes.”
“Oh, yeah.” Xander shrugged, shaking himself off and flushing the toilet. “Kind of a human thing, remember?”
“I was never like that.”
“Well, then, see, you’ve always been a freak of nature.” Xander said, stepping into the shower, one blonde vampire following quickly behind.
****
An hour and a half and the extinction of the hot water for the city of Sunnydale later, Xander came out of the bedroom in his bathrobe, and Spike followed, still wearing his horns and nothing else. Xander went straight to the answering machine and pressed play. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a mug for coffee, freezing in place when the first message started and Willow’s voice filled the apartment.
“Xander? Xander, are you there? Xander, it’s Willow. I just wanted to talk…I’ll try calling a little later. Maybe you and Spike grabbed something to eat. Bye.”
…beep…
“Hello, Xander? Come on, Xander, pick up the phone. Maybe you’re not home yet. I’ll try later.”
…beep…
“Xander, please. Pick up the phone, Xander. It’s Willow. We need to talk about this. Please? Bye.”
…beep…
“Alright, Xander. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I was such jerk. Please forgive me. Are you there? Bye.”
…beep…
“Hello? Alright, Xander, I get it. You don’t wanna talk to me. I get that. I wouldn’t either, I was a big old meanie-head. Remember that, Xander? When we were kids, you’d call me that when I hogged the orange crayons. Anyway…I’m sorry. I guess I just wanted you to know that. I’ll stop calling, but, Xander, I’m sorry. I hope you’re happy. I hope Spike’s being okay to you. Cuz you know, the shovel? I still have it. Hehehe. Anyway, call me sometime? Please?”
…beep…
“There are no more messages. Press delete to erase these messages, or press Save to save them for three more weeks.”
Spike was waiting in the living room as Xander came out of the kitchen and went to the machine, finger wavering between “Delete” and “Save”.
“Love? You gonna be all right, pet?” Spike asked, concern in his voice.
“I will be,” Xander replied, pressing “Save”.
The End
Title: Secrets and Cages (pt. 3, finale)
Author:
chocgood84 (chocgood84 @ livejournal.com)Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: NC-17 (this part)
Notes: AU, schmoop, sex, and drugs.
Previous Parts found here.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Spike, Xander, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I did, this wouldn’t be fanfic, it’d be canon. These belong to Mutant Enemy and its creator, Joss Whedon. No harm, no foul.
The last guest left about an hour later, just before the clock struck three. Giles closed the door, and all eight of them collapsed where they were, some onto nearby chairs or stools, a few right to the floor.
“Oh dear, look at this mess,” Giles sighed. The place was pretty messed up. Plastic party cups everywhere, plates with cake and pretzels and assortments of candy wrappers laying on various ledges and littering the floor and stairs. Knocked over candles with spilt wax covering quite a bit of the woodwork. Giles sighed again.
“Don’t worry, Giles. We’ll clean it up.” Willow offered from where she lay on the floor.
“Hey! Speak for yourself, Red. M’not cleaning anything.” Spike called from over by the windows.
“Shut up, Spike. Why were you even here anyway? Giles, we’ll stay until everything is cleaned up.” Buffy called out from her position on top of the card table, having cleared everything off onto the floor, her arms and legs dangling off the sides.
“No!” Giles said a bit too enthusiastically. “I mean, no, that’s quite alright. I’ll clean up tomorrow. I think tonight I’ll just load the dishwasher with the first round of dishes, and go to sleep. For a rather long time, I might add.”
“Well, the least we can do is help move the furniture back down from the loft,” Oz said from his place on the stairs. “Come on, Angel, woops, I mean Spike –“
“You’re about two words from getting that nasty little full moon problem taken care of, Wolf; permanently.” Spike growled. “’Sides, I got much better hair than that ponce.” The rest of them just groaned. Much to everyone’s surprise, Spike actually did get up and walk up the stairs with Oz to start bringing the furniture down.
Tara cleared her throat rather loudly, and nudged Xander in the ribs with her elbow. Xander glared at her, but he knew she was right. Now or never, I guess.
“Uh, hey guys?” Xander asked, moving out of the way as Oz and Spike set down the couch where him and Tara were previously sitting. Spike just looked at him and smiled, which gave Xander all the confidence he needed. “I kinda need to talk to you about something. Sort of important.”
Buffy perked her head up and groaned as she got up from the table, coming over and making the “oof” sound as she fell into the couch. Willow and Anya followed suit, and Giles pulled himself away from the wall he was leaning against and came to lean against the back of the couch. Tara stood in the corner, until Oz brought down a chair for her to sit in, followed by Spike with the coffee table.
“Uh, well. It’s not easy to say, so uh, hear me out, okay?” Xander said, avoiding eye contact. He could tell everyone was looking at him, concern on their faces, not a single one of them tired anymore. He looked up as Spike and Oz brought down the desk, the last of the big stuff, and hopped up on it. Spike again just looked at him, smiling warmly with that little star in his eye.
“Sure Xander, just spit it out.” Buffy said. Willow nodded and Anya shrugged. Giles said and did nothing, but he had a knowing look on his face.
“Uh, well, okay. Well, you know we’ve all kind of been doing our own thing the last year or so. And that’s cool and whatever, but we all know we’ve kind of uh, grown apart a little? Ever since you girls went to college,” Oz ahemed from where he sat next to Spike. “Ever since you and Oz went off to college, we don’t really hang out like we used to. I guess we’ve all got our own lives, now, and – “
“Oh God, Xander, I’m sorry. You don’t feel like we left you behind do you, Xander?” Willow said, a vague look of horror across her pale face. She almost reached out to touch him, but thought twice about it. Instead, she sat there and looked awkward, exchanging glances with the other girls.
“What, no? No, I mean, yeah, I did for a while. Until the whole Adam thing, but I got over it. We all gotta grow up, right? No, this isn’t about that. This is something different.”
“Well what is it, Xander? We haven’t got all night. Some of us would like to have sex before falling asleep,” Anya interjected, causing Spike to snort behind her.
Xander looked back at Tara, who just nodded and smiled at him. Spike did the same.
“Well, I had this whole speech prepared and everything, but if you’ve got more important things to do, I’ll cut straight to it. Heh, no pun intended.” Xander laughed nervously. “See, the thing is –“
“You’re pregnant, aren’t you!?” Anya shouted. Willow, Buffy, and Giles all looked at her like she was crazy.
“What!? No, no, I’m not pregnant.” Xander squeaked.
“Not you, her.” Anya replied, gesturing towards Tara who was laughing pretty hard. Spike and Oz, too, were laughing. Xander had to try hard not to.
“No, no, Tara isn’t pregnant. At least not that I know of. Besides, we’re just friends…we met at a group at UCSD called the ‘Scarlet Letters’. I went there after I realized I’m gay.” He finally just spit it out.
Four jaws and eight eyes gaped at him, no one sure quite what to say. Willow was doing a pretty good imitation of a fish, and Buffy looked like she’d just taken her French final.
“Gay?” Willow asked. Xander nodded.
“So, what, you like boys? Welcome to club, Xander Harris. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got my own boy to do fun things to.” Anya said, seeming somewhat put out by his explanation. “And next time you’ve got some secret, just say it. Jesus, we have lives, you know.” And with that, she grabbed her coat off the rack by the door, which she slammed behind her on her way out.
“Gay?” Willow asked again. Xander nodded again.
Giles started to say something, but went into Britspeak that Xander didn’t quite catch. The gist of it seemed to be okay, though. Buffy was still staring at him with that blank look on her face. No one said anything for a second.
“Gay?” Willow repeated. Xander repeated his response. Again.
“Okay, so you’re gay. Okay, I can deal. As long as you’re happy, Xander. You’re happy, right?” Buffy asked. Well look who finally joined the party, Xander thought.
“I am…But there’s more.” Xander looked up and found Spike smiling proudly at him. Oz gave him a thumbs up, and Tara had joined the two of them, he head resting on Oz’s shoulder. She was grinning to, and nodded to him. “You’re so not going to like this, but uh, me and Spike…we’re, together, I guess?” Spike nodded to him. “Yeah, together.”
“Spike’s gay?” Willow asked. Xander gave the usual reply.
“Xander, have you lost your mind?” Giles asked. “You are aware that’s the same vampire that’s tried to kill you at least ten times, right?”
“Fourteen, actually.” Xander corrected.
Giles huffed, and meanwhile Buffy had retreated to Blank Face™.
“So that make’s it better?” Spike snarled, causing Giles to make his way around to the side of the couch, instead of having his back turned to the vampire.
“Actually, no, Giles, it doesn’t. But we’ve talked about all that now, and, I know he won’t hurt me. He loves me, Giles. I love him too.”
“You’re both gay?” Willow stuttered. Xander nodded.
“Well, you’re going to do what you want, but I want to go on record as saying I think this is a bad idea, Xander. I don’t agree with your choice in partners, but thank you for telling us.” Giles said, extending his hand. Xander took it, and pulled the older man into a hug. The hug was returned, and Xander gave a huge sigh of relief.
“Uh, what he said.” Buffy said, still staring off into space, but pointing towards Giles. “I guess…I mean, I sooo don’t approve of the Bleached Menace being allowed to touch you in your no-no, and dear God someone stop me before I finish that sentence.” And Buffy was back with the literate. Yay!
She got up from her place on the couch and came over and gave Xander a hug too, this one hard enough for him to make a “squeak” noise. Buffy blushed, and backed off a little.
“You are gay. Spike is gay. Oz is gay.” Willow muttered, still doing the old fish routine.
“Actually, I’m bi, Willow.” Oz called from where he sat. Everyone turned to look at him, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Meanwhile, Tara was practically bouncing with delight, so happy for Xander.
“You’re gay. Spike is gay. And Oz likes boys and girls.” Xander nodded.
“No.” She said, simply. Everyone turned to look at her like she’d finally popped her top.
“Huh?” Xander asked.
“I said, no. No, Xander you’re not gay.” Willow said, matter-of-factly.
“Um, Wills? S’not really a yes or no kind of a thing.”
“You can’t be gay, Xander. You and my ex-boyfriend cannot both be gay. Spike, yeah, I kinda figured, but you cannot be gay.”
“Once again, not making with the gay,” Oz called. Tara turned and clasped a hand over his mouth, shushing him.
“Uh, well, I am, Willow.”
“No, you can’t be, Xander. What about Cordelia? What about me? What everything in High School? What was all that?”
Xander shrank back a little before he said “Um, experimenting?”
To which Willow started shrieking. She jumped up off the couch, screaming at Xander.
“No, Xander Harris, I can’t accept that. I’ve known you all my life, and if you’re gay, I would have known. You can’t just ‘turn gay’, Xander.” She shouted in his face. Xander saw Spike start to stand, but Tara held his arm, trying to stop him.
“Wills, look. I didn’t even know back then, there’s now way you could have known. But I’m telling you now. If this is about the Spike thing, it just kind of happened. I mean, come on, we’ve been friends for-“
“Exactly, Xander. We’ve been friends since we could walk. Evidently, that doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me.” Willow was furious, and the air around her buzzed with energy. Xander could practically see the sparks sizzling out of thin air above her head.
“Come on, Willow. We haven’t exactly been there for Xander the last few mo-“ Buffy began.
“Don’t you dare, Buffy. Don’t you try to make excuses for him. Just because you both seem to have a thing for vampires.”
“That’s a fucking low blow, Red. You better shut your mouth; you’ve no idea how hard it is for him to tell you.” Spike exclaimed, Tara still holding fast to his arm. Giles just stood there gawking at the scene taking place in his living room, and Oz looked so dejected. Wonder if she took it this bad when he told her, Xander wondered.
“Shut up, Spike. No one fucking asked you.” Willow snapped at him. “You don’t know. Don’t you remember, you were the one destroyed everything, anyway. Or don’t you remember, Xander?” Willow turned to him, bright red flashing in her dark eyes.
“Don’t go there, Willow. That’s not something you want to bring up right now.” Xander managed through gritted teeth.
“Willow, really, I don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up past mistakes in the face of this…er, right now.” Giles stated.
Xander could tell that Buffy was starting to get heated as well, and as he looked around, he was both proud and anguished at the scene. Everyone had taken his being gay, and hell, even his relationship with Spike, well. Everyone, that is, except the one person who at one time had been as close as a sister. Those days are gone, he thought sourly.
“What, so this is how it is? This is how everyone’s going to act, now? Everyone’s ganging up on me instead of the one who’s lying? I don’t need this,” Willow screamed. She stormed over to the door, grabbed her coat. Xander ran after her, stopping her as she grabbed the knob.
“Willow, no one’s ganging up on you. No one here is against you. We’re all just…upset, that’s all. I still love you, Wills, you know that. This is just something that you have to…accept. It took a look time for me to accept it, and I don’t expect you to do it overnight. Just, please, tell me we’ll be okay?” Xander pleaded, surprised yet comforted by the strong arm on his shoulder and a soft hand on his forearm.
“You know, Xander, after everything, after all we’ve been through. I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” Willow said, still facing away, her voice waivering.
She opened the door and ran out, leaving it open. Xander was barely aware of Oz coming to Xander and telling him he’d go after her, talk to her, and leaving. The only thing Xander knew was the comfort of Spike’s crushing embrace, the soft words of Tara in his ear, and the hole that Willow had put in his chest.
****
It was almost dawn by the time they reached Xander’s apartment. Neither Spike nor Xander had spoken the entire drive home. A tight hug and chaste “Xander? Call me later, okay? Please?” from Tara when they dropped her off at the dorm. Right now all Xander wanted was to crawl into his bed and curl up against Spike and fall asleep and never wake up. Fall asleep and never move from his place next to Spike.
Once locked inside his apartment, Xander went through the motions of taking off his clothes, starting the water for the shower, turning down his bed. He found Spike in the kitchen, hunched over a hot mug of blood, his costume still on.
Xander went straight to him, and hugged him tight, leaning down to kiss the vampire. Spike looked up, smiling, and Xander returned the smile, though his was broken and tear-stained. He said nothing, and went in to take his shower.
When he came out, he found the door unlocked, and Spike gone. A slight stab of fresh pain ran through him, when he thought maybe Spike had run off instead of dealing with this. But he found a note on the table:
“Out of fags, ran out to get some, Spike”
Xander realized with a start that Spike’s costume wasn’t here, which meant he was still wearing it. He laughed at that, a brittle and hurtful laugh.
He debated whether to wait in the kitchen for him, but decided on heading into the bedroom. He went through the apartment turning off lights and closing all the shades, making it vampire-friendly. No way did I go through all of that to find a pile of ashes where my boyfriend used to be, in the morning.
He shrugged off the bathrobe and crawled under the soft comforter, enjoying the warmth of the electric blanket. Wow, I’ve had this place rigged up for a vampire live-in for quite a while, apparently. He gave a genuine chuckle at that.
He was just dosing off when he heard the door open and close, the lock turn. He heard Spike’s Doc Martens hit the floor one at a time kaplunk kaplunk. A minute later, Spike came to the bedroom door holding a brown paper bag and still wearing his costume.
“How ya feeling, pet?” He asked from the doorway.
“Better, now. Right now, though, I think sleep is good. Gonna get in bed with me?” Xander asked, noting the flash of gold that ran through Spike’s eyes.
“In just a bit, pet. Wanna show you what I bought.”
Xander sat up in bed, a smile on his weary face. “What’dya buy?”
“Now, now, have patience, love.” Spike smirked. He reached slowly into the bag and pulled out a carton of menthols.
“Oh boy, Spike! Cigarettes, yay!” Xander feigned excitement. Spike flipped him off.
“Be good, or no surprise treat for you.” Another sexy smirk.
“Oooh, a surprise?” Xander perked up.
Spike pulled out a rather large Hershey’s bar, and tossed it to Xander who was bouncing like…well, like Xander who had been given chocolate.
“Anything else?” Xander asked, tearing open the foil wrapper and shoving a huge piece of chocolate into his mouth.
“Just a moment, love.” And Spike disappeared from the door. Xander could hear the crinkling of the bag in the hallway, and the sound of a zipper. When he reappeared in the doorway, Xander almost choked on his chocolate.
There in the doorway stood Spike in his costume from the party, with a few alterations. The white leather harness over his bare chest was still in place, as well s the feather wings. Only, instead of the white feather halo he had been wearing earlier, there were two red horns, and instead of the white leather chaps he had been wearing, Spike was wearing a silver-studded black leather thong with a rather obvious bulge.
“Now that’s what I call an angel,” Xander managed to say, though it was difficult considering all the blood had rushed out of his head, at least the one with the brain.
Spike strutted over achingly slow to stand directly in front of Xander.
“So, pet, ever made love to a fallen angel before?” Spike uttered, pure sex rolling off his tongue like dew off a melon. A well-built alabaster melon with perfect pecs, Xander managed to think. And why am I thinking, again?
Xander threw the chocolate to the floor, flung away the covers, and grabbed Spike’s hands, pulling him down on top of him, crushing their mouths together. Spike sighed into Xander’s chocolate kiss, his hands beginning to roam and explore the human’s body.
They lay like that for a few moments, tasting and mapping each other’s mouths, while their hands learned every crevice and every bump and every dip in each other’s body. Hot met cold and dark met light, melting together.
Spike began a slow grinding against Xander’s naked body, his hands tugging softly on Xander’s hair. Xander let out a sharp gasp when Spike leaned down to lick his neck from shoulder to earlobe, stopping to nibble softly on that tender sensuous flesh. He moved lower and lower down Xander’s body, stopping every few kisses to nibble and taste and caress with his hands, lathing Xander’s nipples and touching every piece of human flesh he could. Xander writhed in ecstasy at the vampire’s touch, moaning and ranting of gods and pleasure.
Spike inhaled Xander’s cock in one downward nod of his head, causing the human to scream loudly. Up and down and back and forth, and Xander felt like all of his senses had come alive and that he was slowly losing his mind. Losing it to the pleasure Spike was giving him.
He screamed aloud again as Spike entered him slowly with one long nimble finger, pressing deep into him. Spike pulled out so slow while dipping his head slower and deeper, in and out and up and down. A second finger and Xander gasped, clawing at the sheets, and Spike’s hair, at anything he could touch and grasp. A third finger and Spike began to suck harder.
“Spike, Spike I’m close, no please, stop, I want to wait for you. Please, oooohhhh God Spike!” So very close, and the vampire stopped moving completely, stopped pressing and stopped sucking. Xander thought he had gone insane because there was no movement, no sound besides his own erratic breathing, his own thundering heartbeat.
Spike stood up, removing the thong and Xander gasped at the beauty that was his vampire, screaming at him to “Fuck, me, Spike, please, fuck me!”
Spike leant down and crushed Xander into another kiss, this one desperate and hard, bruising Xander’s lips. Xander didn’t care, all he wanted was THAT!, he screamed inside his head as Spike thrust into him, pelvis to pelvis, flesh to flesh, love to love. Xander screamed again as Spike pounded back into him, hard and fast. Again and again Xander screamed and shouted as again and again Spike pulled and pushed and pounded and thrust, until finally Xander could scream no more, could only gasp and moan and repeat his lovers name over and over again.
At last, Spike began to speed up, going harder and faster, gripping Xander’s hip in one hand hard enough to bruise, and stroking Xander’s cock with the other. Thrust in, stroke up, thrust out, stroke down until finally they both cried out their final profession of ecstasy as Xander exploded onto his chest, his face coated in his own cum, and felt Spike spasm inside him, filling Xander with what felt like gallons of his seed.
Spike pulled out of Xander and collapsed on top of the human. He stuck out his tongue, licking the stuff off Xander’s chin, and pulling Xander in for another hard kiss, exchanging the taste of him. Both men were breathing and gasping for air, and after a bit, Xander’s breathing slowed to at least a safe level and Spike’s ceased.
Spike still lay on top of Xander, who was caressing the vampire’s back with his hands, slick with sweat and cum.
“God, love. That was…that was…fucking fantastic!” Spike managed to get out.
“I uh, I, um, uh,” was all Xander could manage as far as the English language went, so he went back to making idle patterns on his lover’s back and shoulders, enjoying the weight on top of him and the soft kisses Spike was placing anywhere he could reach.
Sometime later, they fell asleep, wrapped in each others’ arms.
****
Xander was woken in the late afternoon by the phone ringing. He found that Spike was still on top of him. When he tried to roll them over, he found they were stuck together. Hmmm…that’s kind of gross, Xander thought, despite the twitch his cock gave at the memory of the act.
Deciding not to wake Spike up by prying himself away, and wanting more sleep anyway, Xander ignored the phone and passed out once more.
****
When he next woke, it was to Spike smiling down at him. Xander smiled and reached up to place a kiss on the vampire’s lips.
“Was wondering when you were gonna wake up. I wanna smoke a fag, but we’re – “
“I know. We’re stuck together. I noticed earlier, but didn’t want to wake you.” Xander replied.
“Don’t know how you could sleep. That damned phone has been ringing all afternoon,” Spike said, still smiling at his human.
“Well, Spike. Now that we’re both awake, how about we pry ourselves away, literally, take a shower, and see what’s to eat.”
“Sounds good to me, love. I’m starving. Although, I wouldn’t mind staying like this for a few more centuries.” Spike said, kissing Xander again. Xander could feel them both starting to get hard again, and he was instantly aware of being human.
“Get off, Spike!” Xander half-shouted, surprising Spike. He pushed the vampire up quickly, wincing at the “riiiiippppp” sound their skin made as they pulled apart.
He ran into the bathroom and barely made it in time. Spike came sauntering in a moment later, laughing softly to himself, walking to the shower and starting the water.
“What’s so funny?” Xander asked, not even half way done.
“You’re like a bloody racehorse, you know that?” Spike asked.
“Well, uh, gosh, thanks,” Xander blushed.
“Not that, although, okay, that too, but I mean every morning it seems like you have to take a piss for ten minutes.”
“Oh, yeah.” Xander shrugged, shaking himself off and flushing the toilet. “Kind of a human thing, remember?”
“I was never like that.”
“Well, then, see, you’ve always been a freak of nature.” Xander said, stepping into the shower, one blonde vampire following quickly behind.
****
An hour and a half and the extinction of the hot water for the city of Sunnydale later, Xander came out of the bedroom in his bathrobe, and Spike followed, still wearing his horns and nothing else. Xander went straight to the answering machine and pressed play. He made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a mug for coffee, freezing in place when the first message started and Willow’s voice filled the apartment.
“Xander? Xander, are you there? Xander, it’s Willow. I just wanted to talk…I’ll try calling a little later. Maybe you and Spike grabbed something to eat. Bye.”
…beep…
“Hello, Xander? Come on, Xander, pick up the phone. Maybe you’re not home yet. I’ll try later.”
…beep…
“Xander, please. Pick up the phone, Xander. It’s Willow. We need to talk about this. Please? Bye.”
…beep…
“Alright, Xander. I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I was such jerk. Please forgive me. Are you there? Bye.”
…beep…
“Hello? Alright, Xander, I get it. You don’t wanna talk to me. I get that. I wouldn’t either, I was a big old meanie-head. Remember that, Xander? When we were kids, you’d call me that when I hogged the orange crayons. Anyway…I’m sorry. I guess I just wanted you to know that. I’ll stop calling, but, Xander, I’m sorry. I hope you’re happy. I hope Spike’s being okay to you. Cuz you know, the shovel? I still have it. Hehehe. Anyway, call me sometime? Please?”
…beep…
“There are no more messages. Press delete to erase these messages, or press Save to save them for three more weeks.”
Spike was waiting in the living room as Xander came out of the kitchen and went to the machine, finger wavering between “Delete” and “Save”.
“Love? You gonna be all right, pet?” Spike asked, concern in his voice.
“I will be,” Xander replied, pressing “Save”.
The End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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A perfect ending to a perfect story, and let me just tell you that the costume was perfection. Especially what he did with it afterwards, LOL
~Nebula
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Glad you liked the costume - that was a prompt from
Glad you liked it, luv. Thanks so very much!
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Willow got stuck - somebody needed to smack her on the back!
*snerk*
"Alabaster melon"
Dude.
:)
*bounce*
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Yeah, suppose that was kinda cheezy. Ah well, *shrugs*
*G*
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Glad you liked it!
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Love this story.
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And don't feel bad, that was my point - trying not to let people figure out the costume until this last part:)
Thank you!
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*snerk* If you only knew...*eg*
So glad you liked it!