Drunk again...

Only not very. Just needed something to take the edge off. Tomorrow is graduation, which means life as I know it is...different. I don't want to say over, because it isn't. Nothing is ever over because it's always there, inside of you. But either way it really sucks because I feel like I'm losing so much. This is the place that tought me who I am and how to be the person I want to be. This is the place that me and Chris met and loved together at. Barat is so special to me, and it's killing me that it's over. I haven't let myself feel anything about it up until now, and now it feels like...it feels like I'm Peter Pan being forced out of Neverland. And I hate it.

Chris is here now, and I think that hurts more than anything. He can't even look at me. When we all went to the Moon, he wouldn't even speak to me, and I know it's stupid, but I feel like it was something *I* did. Like, maybe I did something that has made him hate me. And it hurts soo much that we can't even be friends anymore.

I guess this is where I get all cliche and wish that things would never change and that I didn't have to grow up and didn't have to be alone.

I hurt so much right now.

And now I'm crying.

Well, it's over...

Commencement just ended, and they're kicking us out in a few hours. Won't even say how hard I cried and how much I cheered. Can't help but be just a bit bitter; the tradition I came here for I'm not allowed into anymore.

Just typing a quick note to let you all know that I'll be in my apartment full time as of this afternoon. I have no clue how long it will take to get internet acess there, so it could be a few days or maybe even a few weeks. I'll try to remote update when I can, and I will be able to check my email via DePaul's Student Center. So if you need me for something, you can reach me there.

lunabee34, I should have asked before, but are you okay with taking on club_joss until I get back? Hope so. If not, let me know, and we'll figure something out.

Now I'm going to go join the party outside and say goodbye to everyone, everything.