stoled from everyone

Come on now, who didn't see this coming?

You scored as Xander Harris. You're quite the character. Though you tend to over react you're never one to back down when something needs to be done. You are however quite the slacker, but you're loving, caring heart more than makes up for it. </td> Xander Harris 71% Buffy Summers 63% Dawn Summers 58% Anya 58% Spike 54% Rupert Giles 50% Willow Rosenberg 50% Tara Maclay 50% Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer Character Are You Most Like!? created with QuizFarm.com

ahhhhhhhhhh!

Raise your hand if your already/again freaking out.

*raises both*

One crises adverted...

I lost my Electronic FAFSA pin, and I don't have the paperwork to do a paper copy, so I was flipping out. Turns out you can just request a new one to be sent to you. So I can do my FAFSA in a week or two *whew*. The FAFSA always freaks me out - it kind of controls whether or not I can go to school the following year or not. So...yay.

And now my list of things I *have* to get done no later than tomorrow night:

• Read ALL of my child psych book - midterm Tuesday


• Also must start/finish papers for that class.


• Also must find research articles for next article project for that class



• Must complete "M'egg" project - I don't know what the hell to do, I'm not a very "representational" kind of guy.


• Also must read last two chapters for Counseling Theories - midterm Tuesday night


• Also *really* need to rent/watch One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and get started on my analysis



• Must read for Research Methods - midterm Thursday (it was pushed back a day)



• Must start hauling ass on finding research for Leukemia for my research paper for BIO.

Now do you see why I'm friggen freakin flipping out?

FREAK THE FUCK OUT

Well, this was quite possibly the least productive weekend, um, ever?

I got done absolutely none of what I wanted to get done, and certainly nothing that I *needed* to get done. I really should go to counseling to find out why I engage in so much self-destructive behavior. I mean, eegads! Midterms in less than 48 hours and what have I done? NOTHING. Actually I did finish my egg - I'm calling him "Darb". He's a cutie.

( cut for me flipping out about...well, just about everything. )

Jesus, I think I need some sort of anti-freak out meds. This is really getting just plain disasterous. I'm just starting to feel again that I'm comletely alone and that no one understand. That no one can possibly give two cents about me. I don't exactly have the best track records with friends and lovers and family. I always end up running away or letting go, or choosing to forget the people that did love me at one point. Maybe all my past relationships didn't work because I didn't let them. Maybe I've lost touch and lost relationships with the people I once cared so much about because I'm afraid. I mean, jesus, do you know the last time I spoke to Lisa was almost a year ago? We used to go out once a month. I never call Shelly anymore. I can't remember the last time I saw Jen. I don't talk to Grace anymore. I don't even write my grandmother - she used to be the person I cared about most in the world. All I do is remember how things used to be and then pretend it was never like that.

I've got some serious fucking issues and I need to fucking work through them. How the fuck am I ever supposed to help people if I can't even fucking help myself?