Stupid snow...

Stupid snow...I hate weather like this. Makes you feel all yucky. Man, I'll be so glad when things start to calm down. Maybe then I won't be feeling like I have been...I haven't been well the past week or so. I'm just under so much stress and pressure and I'm going through so much right now and just having a really hard time with everything. What's worse is that it just doesn't seem like it's going to stop. I'm going to un-private my last post. But first, sorry to Shawna for what I said in it. Sometimes I do feel like that but I *know* it's not for real and that day was not a good day for me. I know there's some people that are wondering what's going on, but I just feel like I *can't* talk about it with anyone and I feel like no one can understand what I'm going through right now...

In other news, Res. Life asked me to be in their viewbook.They're only asking certain people, so I should be honored. I'm not all that sure I'm going to do it though...As unhappy as I am with everything about this place lately I don't know if it would be right. I don't know. I might do it. Plus, I really want to look good for the selection committee. The acceptance/denial letters come out this Friday, so I really have to do my best to hold myself together until then, as well as show-off somewhat. I'm pretty sure I've got the job, but I really need to be sure. But then again I'd feel like a total dumbass if I have done all of this stuff for nothing. I really need this job, and I don't know what will happen if I don't get it. I know I probably won't be able to come back. And for all it's problems, this is the place that I've been the happiest of my entire life. But then again, one of my biggest fantasies about going to college was disapearing into a crowd where no one knows me, and I certainly can't do that here. I don't know...I guess I'll find out.