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Well, here's the third and final part of the "What The?" series. I hope you enjoy. Please leave fb if you can. I definetely want it on this because it's another first - there's some sort of smut in it.
Title: Sockless
Pairing: S/X
Rating: NC-17 for some smut
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but enjoy playing.
Hummina hummina hummina what? Why is he so close? What does he mean with that? Why is my arm so cold? Oh, his hand…Strooonnng hands. Nice hands. EVIL hands. Gah, I might as well just throw that one completely out. How can someone who looks this good and sound *that* sexy be evil? Uh, wait, aren’t all the villains always good looking? I think they are. But…Ah hell.
“S-spike, I thought we were gonna talk?” Hello Mr. Voice. Where did you go to? Oh, and now the hand is moving. Up. Up is nice. Kind of like *eek!* now the other one!
“And talk we will, love. Soon as I get some warmth…” Uh oh! He’s assuming kiss position. Head-tilt – CHECK, hand behind head – CHECK, socked feet about shoulder width apart – CHECK, eyes half-closed – CHECK. And now he’s going for the dive! Brace yourself!!! Land ho-ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is nice. And by nice I mean Stage 4 nice. Hershey’s nice. Krispy Kreme double chocolate stuffed drizzled glaze nice. Just…wow. I’m forgetting something. Something’s happening. Oh right, open mouth and *CRIPES* it’s like I’m on fire, only it’s cold so it can’t be fire, but it’s burning me up and I can’t take it anymore!
“Ssssspike!” Forget talking. Who need’s talk? I could go forever without talking. Well maybe not forever, but a long long time. Okay, so I really can’t not talk but, huh, what was I talking about? Oh right… “Spike!”
“S’matter? Don’t you want it?” Oh yeah…keep…keep doing that. OH MY GOD!!! Breathe Xander!
“Ye-yeah, I want it. But, bu-ooooo. Jesus, Spike! Don’t not do that. OH!” Cripes! It wasn’t like this with – and that thought isn’t getting a chance to see the light of day. Back to…mmmmm.
“Sorry, pet. Did you say something?” Oh, now he’s nibbling the ears. Not the ears, anything but the…yeah, the ears. Oh! Just…wow.
“Uh, just uh…just…umm…Yeah, no! I mean. *sigh* Now would be a good…uh, time, for the, you know, bed.” Hey, what do you know – Spike can pick me up! And that had to be an Olympic record for speed. And suddenly very cold. Huh? How’d he get my jeans off so damn fast? Oh right, vampire ability. Ha. Right. Just a horny guy. A massively hot horny nekkid vampire. Kneeling between my legs. A massively hot horny nekkid vampire between my legs that does *not* have to breath and *(&!%$@^#!*! Holly gods and even the unholy ones! And JESUS!!!
Ah! He stopped! Where’d he go? Huh? What’s that –
“OHMYGODSPIKEDON’TSTOPWHATYOUREDOING!!!!” Whatever he’s doing he can keep – oh yeah. Uhhhhhhh so that’s what he’s doing…mmm…
“Like that, pet?”
“Uh I mmmn burr..uhhh.”
“Thought so.” Snickering vampire makes for fun – um. Ah, whatever. Just – oh oh oh! “Think you’re ready?” Mmm…yeah ready to die now. Could die happy. But only if it means this is heaven.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Please, Spike. Want you so much.”
“Alright. Just focus on my eyes, Pet. Don’t try to fight it, it’ll just hurt. Just-”
“I know, Spike. I’ve done this before. Just get on with it, okay?” And isn’t that a funny look on Mr. Badass Snarky Vampire? Looks like I’ve got the cat’s tongue. Heh.
“You have?” And why do his eyes suddenly look gold? “Then how do you want it, Xander?” Oh his voice is so sexy.
“I want it *now*” Oh yeah, that’s me whining. Begging for it. And why does it seem like he knows that makes it even hotter? Jeeze, Xander. Is there anything *left* of the box anymore? Nope, got lost somewhere around the time the Raphael and Michelangelo and the boys disappeared. Surfs up!
“Right. Here goes then, mate.” Holy Crap! It’s like firecrackers and and Christmas and Star Trek Limited Edition Action Figure Collection and everything else that’s ever been even mildly good all rolled in one. It’s…it’s Spike. Spike. In me, apart of me. Kissing me, stroking me, crushing me and loving me. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It…it just is. Oh god this is the best thing in the world. Hell, the best thing in this *dimension*! I can’t believe it. And and…oh god… if he doesn’t sop I’ll, I’ll…
“Sssppiiike…I’m going to, Spike, I uh, oh, God, SPIKE!!!” … Whoa. Wow. Damn. And I’m burning freezing inside. Look at his face. His eyes all scrunched up. Gods. Fuck the box, give me this. Everyday. All day. All the time. I want this, and everything else! That was just…that was… “Amazing. Jesus Spike, where did you learn that?”
“’M a vampire, aren’t I? Been around a long time. Kinda comes with the territory, doesn’t it? ‘Sides, not so bad yourself.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. Wait a second…” Oh that’s funny. That’s perfect. Oh my god!
“Oi! Why are you laughing?
Oh my god, it’s hilarious!!! Ouch, it hurts it hurts, but I can’t stop laughing! Oh my god, it’s the best. Simply. The. Funniest. Thing. Ever. Why didn’t I notice that before? That’s just great!
“What’s so funny, whelp?” Awww…wittle iddy bitty whiney vampire throwing a fit. How cute is that?
“Nothing, Spike. It’s just…um…Spike, is that Winnie the Pooh on your socks?”
The end.
Title: Sockless
Pairing: S/X
Rating: NC-17 for some smut
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but enjoy playing.
Hummina hummina hummina what? Why is he so close? What does he mean with that? Why is my arm so cold? Oh, his hand…Strooonnng hands. Nice hands. EVIL hands. Gah, I might as well just throw that one completely out. How can someone who looks this good and sound *that* sexy be evil? Uh, wait, aren’t all the villains always good looking? I think they are. But…Ah hell.
“S-spike, I thought we were gonna talk?” Hello Mr. Voice. Where did you go to? Oh, and now the hand is moving. Up. Up is nice. Kind of like *eek!* now the other one!
“And talk we will, love. Soon as I get some warmth…” Uh oh! He’s assuming kiss position. Head-tilt – CHECK, hand behind head – CHECK, socked feet about shoulder width apart – CHECK, eyes half-closed – CHECK. And now he’s going for the dive! Brace yourself!!! Land ho-ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is nice. And by nice I mean Stage 4 nice. Hershey’s nice. Krispy Kreme double chocolate stuffed drizzled glaze nice. Just…wow. I’m forgetting something. Something’s happening. Oh right, open mouth and *CRIPES* it’s like I’m on fire, only it’s cold so it can’t be fire, but it’s burning me up and I can’t take it anymore!
“Ssssspike!” Forget talking. Who need’s talk? I could go forever without talking. Well maybe not forever, but a long long time. Okay, so I really can’t not talk but, huh, what was I talking about? Oh right… “Spike!”
“S’matter? Don’t you want it?” Oh yeah…keep…keep doing that. OH MY GOD!!! Breathe Xander!
“Ye-yeah, I want it. But, bu-ooooo. Jesus, Spike! Don’t not do that. OH!” Cripes! It wasn’t like this with – and that thought isn’t getting a chance to see the light of day. Back to…mmmmm.
“Sorry, pet. Did you say something?” Oh, now he’s nibbling the ears. Not the ears, anything but the…yeah, the ears. Oh! Just…wow.
“Uh, just uh…just…umm…Yeah, no! I mean. *sigh* Now would be a good…uh, time, for the, you know, bed.” Hey, what do you know – Spike can pick me up! And that had to be an Olympic record for speed. And suddenly very cold. Huh? How’d he get my jeans off so damn fast? Oh right, vampire ability. Ha. Right. Just a horny guy. A massively hot horny nekkid vampire. Kneeling between my legs. A massively hot horny nekkid vampire between my legs that does *not* have to breath and *(&!%$@^#!*! Holly gods and even the unholy ones! And JESUS!!!
Ah! He stopped! Where’d he go? Huh? What’s that –
“OHMYGODSPIKEDON’TSTOPWHATYOUREDOING!!!!” Whatever he’s doing he can keep – oh yeah. Uhhhhhhh so that’s what he’s doing…mmm…
“Like that, pet?”
“Uh I mmmn burr..uhhh.”
“Thought so.” Snickering vampire makes for fun – um. Ah, whatever. Just – oh oh oh! “Think you’re ready?” Mmm…yeah ready to die now. Could die happy. But only if it means this is heaven.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Please, Spike. Want you so much.”
“Alright. Just focus on my eyes, Pet. Don’t try to fight it, it’ll just hurt. Just-”
“I know, Spike. I’ve done this before. Just get on with it, okay?” And isn’t that a funny look on Mr. Badass Snarky Vampire? Looks like I’ve got the cat’s tongue. Heh.
“You have?” And why do his eyes suddenly look gold? “Then how do you want it, Xander?” Oh his voice is so sexy.
“I want it *now*” Oh yeah, that’s me whining. Begging for it. And why does it seem like he knows that makes it even hotter? Jeeze, Xander. Is there anything *left* of the box anymore? Nope, got lost somewhere around the time the Raphael and Michelangelo and the boys disappeared. Surfs up!
“Right. Here goes then, mate.” Holy Crap! It’s like firecrackers and and Christmas and Star Trek Limited Edition Action Figure Collection and everything else that’s ever been even mildly good all rolled in one. It’s…it’s Spike. Spike. In me, apart of me. Kissing me, stroking me, crushing me and loving me. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted. It…it just is. Oh god this is the best thing in the world. Hell, the best thing in this *dimension*! I can’t believe it. And and…oh god… if he doesn’t sop I’ll, I’ll…
“Sssppiiike…I’m going to, Spike, I uh, oh, God, SPIKE!!!” … Whoa. Wow. Damn. And I’m burning freezing inside. Look at his face. His eyes all scrunched up. Gods. Fuck the box, give me this. Everyday. All day. All the time. I want this, and everything else! That was just…that was… “Amazing. Jesus Spike, where did you learn that?”
“’M a vampire, aren’t I? Been around a long time. Kinda comes with the territory, doesn’t it? ‘Sides, not so bad yourself.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. Wait a second…” Oh that’s funny. That’s perfect. Oh my god!
“Oi! Why are you laughing?
Oh my god, it’s hilarious!!! Ouch, it hurts it hurts, but I can’t stop laughing! Oh my god, it’s the best. Simply. The. Funniest. Thing. Ever. Why didn’t I notice that before? That’s just great!
“What’s so funny, whelp?” Awww…wittle iddy bitty whiney vampire throwing a fit. How cute is that?
“Nothing, Spike. It’s just…um…Spike, is that Winnie the Pooh on your socks?”
The end.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Now, see? That wasn't so bad, was it?
Innuendo without graphic...uh...graphics.
Hee.
“I know, Spike. I’ve done this before. Just get on with it, okay?” And isn’t that a funny look on Mr. Badass Snarky Vampire? Looks like I’ve got the cat’s tongue. Heh.
*snerk*
*bounce*
From:
heehee
Yeah, it probably wasn't...graphic...enough. But I revised it a few times and this is what I got. lol.
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Re: heehee
It's all good.
:)
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Re: heehee
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no subject
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Very nice. ;)
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*g*
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This was sooo funny.
*Taps foot and anxiously waits for more whipping boy*
Suki Blue
xxx
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it'll be back from the beta soon, and i'll have it up quick as candy.
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hee!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! *G*