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Ugh. Am I dead? Is that what this is about? Is this what death feels like?
Nah, can't be. If I were dead I wouldn't still be tired. Oh. my. god. I want to just crawl into my bed and die.
bah.
So, my insomnia is back. I haven't slept well or at all the past 4 nights. It takes me until at least dawn to get to sleep, usually a little later, and then when I do finally fall asleep, I wake up every ten minutes, or it's that half-sleep thing, or I dream things that wear me out. So in effect, I'm running on 4 days of no sleep. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't that I am on day 4 of 11days of work and that I work 2nd shift, and that a combination of everything led to a small (but bad) slight nervous breakdown last night at work. I threw my keys in the office, grabbed my jacket and clocked out and just left for a while. Of course then I had to deal with a bunch of "are you okays" and "what happeneds" and "what's the matters". Which of course made me question the reasons myself. And I don't know. All I do know is that I have a huge knot in my stomache that won't go away and I'm feeling not-so-emotionally-blanaced as of late. Either way, I really just want to stay in my bed and do nothing for the rest of my vacation.
Then things with P** went to a whole new level of uncomfortable confusion. Him and almost everyone else. I need to get the fuck out of here. I need to get back to my life up at school. Then I think I'll be fine. God I hope I'll be fine.
Nah, can't be. If I were dead I wouldn't still be tired. Oh. my. god. I want to just crawl into my bed and die.
bah.
So, my insomnia is back. I haven't slept well or at all the past 4 nights. It takes me until at least dawn to get to sleep, usually a little later, and then when I do finally fall asleep, I wake up every ten minutes, or it's that half-sleep thing, or I dream things that wear me out. So in effect, I'm running on 4 days of no sleep. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't that I am on day 4 of 11days of work and that I work 2nd shift, and that a combination of everything led to a small (but bad) slight nervous breakdown last night at work. I threw my keys in the office, grabbed my jacket and clocked out and just left for a while. Of course then I had to deal with a bunch of "are you okays" and "what happeneds" and "what's the matters". Which of course made me question the reasons myself. And I don't know. All I do know is that I have a huge knot in my stomache that won't go away and I'm feeling not-so-emotionally-blanaced as of late. Either way, I really just want to stay in my bed and do nothing for the rest of my vacation.
Then things with P** went to a whole new level of uncomfortable confusion. Him and almost everyone else. I need to get the fuck out of here. I need to get back to my life up at school. Then I think I'll be fine. God I hope I'll be fine.
