Bout to get ready for work, but I felt the need to post.  I went home last week to visit the family, afterall.  It was a pretty good trip, all the standard drama aside.  I got to hang out with Shawna, and Matt and go out and have fun and blow off steam.  All in all it turned out to be a pretty emotional up and down, cleansing trip.  The reason I even mention it is that just three nights ago I went out with a coworker for her birthday, and I wound up meeting a bunch of new, cool people.  I had lots of fun, mostly because I let myself go and just had fun.  What I realized, or rather remembered, is that I am a fun guy.  I'm fun to hang out with and be around, and I have things to offer people.  Somehow, when I was with Tom, I let a lot of that go and forgot about myself because I was caught up in the "we" and the "us."  So that when he left, I couldn't remember how to be a Me.  So continuing in my "things happen for a reason" I'm chalking this up to yet another growing experience.  I miss him, a lot.  But maybe I do need some more time to be me.  I'm looking forward to doing things again that I either couldn't or wouldn't do before.  I'm making a list of things to do this summer.  Among them are going canoeing because I haven't done that since I was a kid, go hiking and camping, be OUTSIDE, do a hot air balloon, and go bungee jumping.  I wanna shed some more of this baggage I carry.  I just have this incredible urge lately to LIVE and experience it.  I only have this one life, and I want to make it the best I can possibly have.


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