Well, in the spirit of tradition, Thanksgiving turned out to be one of the most dysfuntional days of the year. You know, there's nothing like going home to remind me why I left.

You know what - instead of a big detailed post, let's just simplify this: I got home, fought with my parents, went to a movie, came home, went to sleep. Woke up, fought with my Mom, went to my grandma's house as our family's rep (again), came home, fought with my mom, went to my other grandparents where the whole family fought with each other, ate a lot, and came home and fell asleep. Friday I woke up, got into a big fight with Mom, went shopping, came home and fought some more, she left for work and called to fight some more, I packed, went shopping, and left. Came back to Chicago, got smashed, and put my X-Mas tree.

The condensed synopsis: We fought, we ate, I left.

There were highlights, though. Got to hang out with my brother for a bit before I left. Got along with him, and with my sister for all 56 hours, which is a new record. Also, I got to see lots of friends from way back when while I was home. I met Julie's little girl last night, and she's about the most adorable thing I've ever seen. And I got to make my asshole cousin feel like shit for breathing. So now I'm going to put away this fucking turkey and not think about this pitiful excuse for a fucking "Holiday" for another year. I've already decided - unless something major happens - I'm not going home next year. And I'm debating skipping X-mas.

This'll probably be the last chance I get to say Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate it, so there it is. Me, personally, I hate the holiday, but I am a sheep.

However, I'm starting a new tradition this year. Since I'm going home tomorrow after I finish my final, I've decided to have my own little pre-thanksgiving dinner dinner. I'm making ham and stuffing, cranberry sauce, and biscuits. I'm very excited about it. And then I'm gong to sit down and eat it while watching the thanksgiving ep of Buffy. And then it's study time with intermittant breaks for cleaning, packing, and prepping myself for tomorrow.

Anyway, if I don't get a chance to say it again, Happy Thanksgiving to anyone that celebrates it. And as for the rest of the world, Happy Thursday.

So, I have my first exam in just over two hours, so I'm studying for it now. It's my history exam (ye gods). So I'm mapping everything out, marking in my book so I know where to turn to for which question. And all of a sudden, I get this blinding stabbing searing pain in my head.

Perfect time for a migraine to come storming in - first exam in two hours, and my second one is due at midnight tonight, which I'm only half done with. And I have another tomorrow and my last one's on Wednesday. Just pray that the 8 asprin that I just took will help knock the bitch out, because honestly - so not what I need right now.

Stupid brain.

Ohhhhh breathe, just breathe.

This is my new favorite song right now. It, for the moment, is me.

I'm a little drained. That's about 50% consisting of the shift I just worked, and about 50% the past few weeks catching up with me.

I think I'm okay with everything. The friends thing, the relationship/retardation thing, the apathy thing.

In the end, what else can you do but be okay with it? Can't change things that have already happened, so might as well do what you can to make good things happen in the future.

So now, I'm exhausted, and I have finals prepping to do all day tomorrow, so I think I'm going to smoke another cigarette and then go to bed. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight - last night I had some trouble with that.

Okay, you know what? If that's the game you want to play, fine. But leave me the hell out of it - I'm tired and I'm done. Obviously, there is something wrong here, and neither one of us can say anything about it. But I'll be GOD DAMNED if I'm screwed over again and made to feel like crap because of you. So this? Last time I ever want to hear about it or speak about it.

The end.

So...

Tonight I worked a party for Vogue Magazine. I served some of the world's best designers chilled hor d'ouerves. And all I can say is - there were some UGLY people with even worse outfits. How do these people get away with this stuff? Whatever. The event was for a new store opening up on Michigan Avenue - Dennis Basso. Damn.

So now, I'm going out. Because it's about 2degrees outside w/wind chill. And, because I want to.

g'nite.

Laid down at 5, just how got up - only because I have things to do. Was gonna go out tonight, but now I think I'll stay home and sleep.

Um.

As of tomorrow, this quarter is over. As in finished, completed, finito, the end. Well, except for my three exams, but those don't count.

Which means I just have to finish the paper I'm working on now, finish up my IS stuff, go to class in the morning and my meeting in the afternoon, and that's that.

Has this year flown by for anyone else, by any chance? I mean, do you realize that Thanksgiving is next week? Four weeks after that is Christmas. A week after that, it's new years. A month later is Valentines, a month later St. Patrick's Day, then Easter, then my birthday, and then I graduate. Jesus fuck. *whimper*

So if I dissapear for a while - they funny white men have taken me away in a hug-me jacket.

and just so we're clear.

i officially hate medieval history.

and more importantly: i hate medieval religious history.

thank you, that will be all.

why yes, I *am* working on my medieval religions paper

People are leaving for work
and there's a hustle and bustle that's deadly silent
- like rush hour on mute.
Soccer moms are brewing their coffee
and popping their prozac.
The fathers are waking,
filing things into their breifcase.
The children are dreaming still
of things that will be
or might be
or could be,
never knowing that in an hours time
they'll be packed up
and launched into the rest of their lives.
It's 6:30am and I walk through the door,
tired from a night of drinking,
restless from a night of conversation,
happy from a night of friendship,
and fearful from a night of sharing.
As the sun rises, my eyelids lower.
And I wonder - are these the times that I've longed for so long?
Or are these the times I never expected at all?