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Extreme, violent, combustive anger. That's where I'm at right now. So angry that I really just want to punch him in the face. Angry enough that I want to take my car for a spin at 120mph down the county highway until I cream myself against a cow or blow a tire and flip.
I'm angry that now I know he talked about this to Troy.
I'm angry because I feel used and betrayed. Whether he meant to or not, or even knew he was doing it, he used me to get over him.
I'm angry because I see he's already changed his status to "single" on everything.
I'm angry because he doesn't feel as miserable and as hurt and as lost as I do.
More than anything I'm angry at myself. I allowed this to happen. I allowed myself to be blinded, allowed myself to trust someone so completely, let them in. I'm angry at myself because now I am alone and everything is messed up again and I can't fix it. I don't know how to fix this. I'm angry because I allowed myself to become this.
I'm angry that now I know he talked about this to Troy.
I'm angry because I feel used and betrayed. Whether he meant to or not, or even knew he was doing it, he used me to get over him.
I'm angry because I see he's already changed his status to "single" on everything.
I'm angry because he doesn't feel as miserable and as hurt and as lost as I do.
More than anything I'm angry at myself. I allowed this to happen. I allowed myself to be blinded, allowed myself to trust someone so completely, let them in. I'm angry at myself because now I am alone and everything is messed up again and I can't fix it. I don't know how to fix this. I'm angry because I allowed myself to become this.