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synapticjava Mar. 12th, 2005 04:31 pm)
synapticjava Mar. 12th, 2005 04:31 pm)Hey, look at that - music that's not Phantom *gasp*. Aren't you proud of me? Jesus - when did it get to be quarter past four already? *sigh* I hate that weekends go so fast, it's not fair.
I've decided that I'm done with winter. It can be over now - I say so. *jeanie blink*. Hmm...must be broken.
Do you realize that in less that two months, I'm going to completely and fully legal? *meep* For the first time, I'm scared to be a grown up. Does that sound wierd? I don't know. It just feels so strange. And I know about 89% of my flist is over 25, so to y'all I probably sound like a kid. Heh. Used to bother me when people said that - but now I'm like wow...not for much longer. Just wierd. I'm in that "changing" place. Used to be I felt like I was standing still while everything ran around me. But now I feel like it's all happening so fast. Jesus, I'm going to have my own place in a few months, and only a year later I'll have graduated from college. Wierd.
Chris called last night. I didn't answer - I'm not sure if I'll call him back. Part of me feels like I should because it's the nice thing to do, but the bigger part of me feels like I shouldn't because the past couple of weeks have been so nice, not thinking about him. Which makes me feel bad and guilty, because he didn't do anything wrong. I just...I don't know, I feel better when I'm not thinking about him. Wierd.
Don't mind me - I'm in a wierd mood today. I've got days of studying and reading and exams ahead of me, and all I can do is stare listlessly at the TV or computer. Feeling a bit of the Spring Fever, and a little lonely. All I want to do is just lie in bed and listen to the music. Not think about anything, not worry about anything.
The wierdest thing of all? I miss my family. I feel like I'm missing huge stuff. My sister's growing up. Christ, she'll be driving this summer. And, possibly the wierdest of wierd - I miss my brother. Rather, I miss *having* a brother. Which is strange because we were never close growing up, and we got even less-close when he started getting in trouble. I've been daydreaming of wierd stuff. Like, having my place in the city, and him or my sister coming up and visiting. It'd never happen, I'm not stupid. Just odd that I'm thinking about it at all. Besides, who knows when Brian will finally get out. *shrugs*
Eh, maybe I'll go watch one of my new DVDs. Or rewatch Cuckoo's Nest so I can take it back tomorrow. I really should be studying, though...
I've decided that I'm done with winter. It can be over now - I say so. *jeanie blink*. Hmm...must be broken.
Do you realize that in less that two months, I'm going to completely and fully legal? *meep* For the first time, I'm scared to be a grown up. Does that sound wierd? I don't know. It just feels so strange. And I know about 89% of my flist is over 25, so to y'all I probably sound like a kid. Heh. Used to bother me when people said that - but now I'm like wow...not for much longer. Just wierd. I'm in that "changing" place. Used to be I felt like I was standing still while everything ran around me. But now I feel like it's all happening so fast. Jesus, I'm going to have my own place in a few months, and only a year later I'll have graduated from college. Wierd.
Chris called last night. I didn't answer - I'm not sure if I'll call him back. Part of me feels like I should because it's the nice thing to do, but the bigger part of me feels like I shouldn't because the past couple of weeks have been so nice, not thinking about him. Which makes me feel bad and guilty, because he didn't do anything wrong. I just...I don't know, I feel better when I'm not thinking about him. Wierd.
Don't mind me - I'm in a wierd mood today. I've got days of studying and reading and exams ahead of me, and all I can do is stare listlessly at the TV or computer. Feeling a bit of the Spring Fever, and a little lonely. All I want to do is just lie in bed and listen to the music. Not think about anything, not worry about anything.
The wierdest thing of all? I miss my family. I feel like I'm missing huge stuff. My sister's growing up. Christ, she'll be driving this summer. And, possibly the wierdest of wierd - I miss my brother. Rather, I miss *having* a brother. Which is strange because we were never close growing up, and we got even less-close when he started getting in trouble. I've been daydreaming of wierd stuff. Like, having my place in the city, and him or my sister coming up and visiting. It'd never happen, I'm not stupid. Just odd that I'm thinking about it at all. Besides, who knows when Brian will finally get out. *shrugs*
Eh, maybe I'll go watch one of my new DVDs. Or rewatch Cuckoo's Nest so I can take it back tomorrow. I really should be studying, though...
