synapticjava (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synapticjava) wrote2005-03-07 12:28 am
synapticjava) wrote2005-03-07 12:28 am
A sidenote as I delve deeper into psychological theory.
The author of my book makes a good point when talking about Gestalt Experiments. The goal is to surface emotions from past events and experience them in the present, and the author mentions that "of course, many men have been socialized not to express intense feelings."
The thing about this is that I absolutely believe it. There are so many people, primarily women (though I don't mean to overgeneralize so please don't be offended) that see a great many men as being cold, unfeeling, and unresponsive to emotional situations. The whole idea that women can talk about their feelings and men can't is a properly grounded one. But why? Because men, and I really speak for myself here - though I believe it can be generalized to a broader population, are conditioned through socialization and ideology to be that way. I myself, in real life and out of the cone of protectiveness that is livejournal, am very closed-mouth and locked-in with my emotions. I'm afraid to reveal emotions, afraid to appear fragile, and I most definetely do not allow myself to be seen as weak or emotionally expressive (other than the big ones, of course). Because this is a large part of gender socialization. Whether we learn it through our parents, teachers, friends, whathaveyou, men and women alike are taught how they are supposed to act. And I never even attributed the emotional detachment of the male gender to this gender bias. Have you?
Something to think about, boys and girls.
The thing about this is that I absolutely believe it. There are so many people, primarily women (though I don't mean to overgeneralize so please don't be offended) that see a great many men as being cold, unfeeling, and unresponsive to emotional situations. The whole idea that women can talk about their feelings and men can't is a properly grounded one. But why? Because men, and I really speak for myself here - though I believe it can be generalized to a broader population, are conditioned through socialization and ideology to be that way. I myself, in real life and out of the cone of protectiveness that is livejournal, am very closed-mouth and locked-in with my emotions. I'm afraid to reveal emotions, afraid to appear fragile, and I most definetely do not allow myself to be seen as weak or emotionally expressive (other than the big ones, of course). Because this is a large part of gender socialization. Whether we learn it through our parents, teachers, friends, whathaveyou, men and women alike are taught how they are supposed to act. And I never even attributed the emotional detachment of the male gender to this gender bias. Have you?
Something to think about, boys and girls.
no subject
Well, if I may say, otherwise tell me to take a hike, but though your feelings of resentment are completely understandable and justifiable, I'd say that just the fact that he's gotten to that point is a huge task. And one of the goals of your therapy is or should be to extend that "safe zone" to your own home and into your relationship without there being a therapist involved. And if you guys keep it up, that should happen naturally.
*takes off freudian glasses and hat* Sorry - you can take the boy out of psychology but not the psychology out of the boy.
no subject
Leave the hat on, Brad. It suits you. :) I can hardly leave my grad student hat off long enough to write Spander. Kitty's like, "Okay Lorraine. Neither Spike or Xander is going to examine their relationship in light of Foucauldian constructs of sexuality. Nor are they going to join a bookclub and discuss symbolism in Toni Morrison. Get those boys to a bar, babe"
no subject
At this point, I don't want to wear any hats at all. I really just want to curl up into the fetal position and wait for college to blow over.
nevermind the rantings of a severely broken man
no subject