A sidenote as I delve deeper into psychological theory.

[synapticjava]

The author of my book makes a good point when talking about Gestalt Experiments. The goal is to surface emotions from past events and experience them in the present, and the author mentions that "of course, many men have been socialized not to express intense feelings."

The thing about this is that I absolutely believe it. There are so many people, primarily women (though I don't mean to overgeneralize so please don't be offended) that see a great many men as being cold, unfeeling, and unresponsive to emotional situations. The whole idea that women can talk about their feelings and men can't is a properly grounded one. But why? Because men, and I really speak for myself here - though I believe it can be generalized to a broader population, are conditioned through socialization and ideology to be that way. I myself, in real life and out of the cone of protectiveness that is livejournal, am very closed-mouth and locked-in with my emotions. I'm afraid to reveal emotions, afraid to appear fragile, and I most definetely do not allow myself to be seen as weak or emotionally expressive (other than the big ones, of course). Because this is a large part of gender socialization. Whether we learn it through our parents, teachers, friends, whathaveyou, men and women alike are taught how they are supposed to act. And I never even attributed the emotional detachment of the male gender to this gender bias. Have you?

Something to think about, boys and girls.

Comments

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

And I never even attributed the emotional detachment of the male gender to this gender bias. Have you?

Definitely have. An education and media studies course many years ago opened my eyes to how incredibly biased the media is, and how biased teaching methods can be, in ramming men and women into their pigeonholes, whether they fit or not.
Men outside of western "civilisation" don't seem to be socialised in the same way. And I think "working class" blokes seem a bit less repressed, at least the ones I know. But maybe its because I don't expect repression from men that I don't see so much of it.

[caviling]

I think a lot of women (myself included, though I'm trying to break away from this habit) really freak when they see a man express an intense emotion, especially a negative one--I mean, you guys are supposed to take care of everything, right? You're boundless resources in case of emergency! Very toxic thinking, but harder to get around than one would think or hope.

[lunabee34.livejournal.com]

My husband suffers from this dilemma. I always thought those Cosmo "Women are from Mars..." quizzes were a load of hooey until I met the man who would be my husband. Many of those things that scientists say are gender-specific, or at least, gender-likely seem to be true of us anyway. He doesn't understand that me complaining to him about a problem doesn't necessitate a "fix." He wants to offer concrete advice instead of sympathy. He's also very closemouthed about his own feelings. I'm finding out things from him that he really should've told me six years ago and only because we're in therapy and he feels "safe" saying it there. Hm....