I've made this all sound a bit abrupt, but don't take it that way, OK? Written with good intentions.
I really should go to counseling to find out why I engage in so much self-destructive behavior.
This sounds like more procrastination!
I've got a really tough, stressful couple of weeks (more like 4) coming up and I know I'm going to absolutely insane running from school to work to school to the library to the computer to class back to my computer to work, well, you get the idea. Not that my job's really that difficult or stressful, but it's just one more thing to deal with.
Its totally understandable that you are under stress - I don't think I could have held down a job and gone to college as well - but this seems to be the norm these days - the system puts too much stress on people to overwork. But you've decided you want to do this, so stop wasting time worrying about stress... just do your best.
Not to mention, my 21st birthday is only 3 months and 3 days away. I'm getting old.
No, you're not. Jesus, they only recently lowered the age of consent for gay men from 21 over here - not that I'm saying they shouldn't have but, 21 - not old.
I'm too busy freaking out about the apartment. I'm having doubts about moving in with Genevieve. I just don't know if our friendship is strong enough to last living a year with each other.
You don't have to be bosom friends to live with someone. I shared one room and a bathroom with a girl I'd never met, for nearly a year - it wasn't that hard, you just have to get used to each other's foibles and learn to avoid them when they're doing something that gets up your nose.
But on top of flying alone for the first time in my life - I'm afraid of doing something or saying something unintentionally and getting the FBI called on me and hauled off to a prison for BAD people. I mean, I don't know proper plane ettiquette - I've only flown twice in my life.
Just do what everyone else does. Have your ticket ready when you get to the officials, eat your pretzels, read the in-flight mag - you'll be asleep in no time...
And then how am I going to deal with being trapped with my sister and mother for four days.
Humour them, but set boundaries - tell them when you won't be available. They're not the boss of you.
And of course, Chris. I just don't know what to do.
Send him a humorous-themed (post-?)card from wherever you are, saying when you'll be there, and ask him to call you and let you know whether (or not - don't want to be left wondering if he received it or not) he wants to meet up for a drink. Simple.
I'm just starting to feel again that I'm comletely alone and that no one understand. That no one can possibly give two cents about me.
This may be something to do with the stridently anti-gay media and general timbre you posted about recently, and its crap. And even if no one gives 2 cents, which I don't think for a moment is true - we're spending time answering your post, which costs more than 2 cents worth of time - who cares? Most people don't have the best judgement. The admiration of fools is not worth a lot.
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Date: 2005-02-07 02:46 pm (UTC)I really should go to counseling to find out why I engage in so much self-destructive behavior.
This sounds like more procrastination!
I've got a really tough, stressful couple of weeks (more like 4) coming up and I know I'm going to absolutely insane running from school to work to school to the library to the computer to class back to my computer to work, well, you get the idea. Not that my job's really that difficult or stressful, but it's just one more thing to deal with.
Its totally understandable that you are under stress - I don't think I could have held down a job and gone to college as well - but this seems to be the norm these days - the system puts too much stress on people to overwork. But you've decided you want to do this, so stop wasting time worrying about stress... just do your best.
Not to mention, my 21st birthday is only 3 months and 3 days away. I'm getting old.
No, you're not. Jesus, they only recently lowered the age of consent for gay men from 21 over here - not that I'm saying they shouldn't have but, 21 - not old.
I'm too busy freaking out about the apartment. I'm having doubts about moving in with Genevieve. I just don't know if our friendship is strong enough to last living a year with each other.
You don't have to be bosom friends to live with someone. I shared one room and a bathroom with a girl I'd never met, for nearly a year - it wasn't that hard, you just have to get used to each other's foibles and learn to avoid them when they're doing something that gets up your nose.
But on top of flying alone for the first time in my life - I'm afraid of doing something or saying something unintentionally and getting the FBI called on me and hauled off to a prison for BAD people. I mean, I don't know proper plane ettiquette - I've only flown twice in my life.
Just do what everyone else does. Have your ticket ready when you get to the officials, eat your pretzels, read the in-flight mag - you'll be asleep in no time...
And then how am I going to deal with being trapped with my sister and mother for four days.
Humour them, but set boundaries - tell them when you won't be available. They're not the boss of you.
And of course, Chris. I just don't know what to do.
Send him a humorous-themed (post-?)card from wherever you are, saying when you'll be there, and ask him to call you and let you know whether (or not - don't want to be left wondering if he received it or not) he wants to meet up for a drink. Simple.
I'm just starting to feel again that I'm comletely alone and that no one understand. That no one can possibly give two cents about me.
This may be something to do with the stridently anti-gay media and general timbre you posted about recently, and its crap. And even if no one gives 2 cents, which I don't think for a moment is true - we're spending time answering your post, which costs more than 2 cents worth of time - who cares? Most people don't have the best judgement. The admiration of fools is not worth a lot.