5 AM

Ugh. It's my day off, and I'm wide awake at 5am. Which I guess isn't bad because that's sleeping in a couple hours for me. Think I'll put on some coffee, turn on a couple lights, and sit down to write.

Without going into too much detail, I just want to say how sad it makes me that there are so many couples out there that "play," and so many couples that have "arrangements," or are "open." I'm not judging those relationships, or those people, because every relationship is different and has its own rules and boundaries. But it makes me wonder - doesn't anyone believe in monogamy anymore? I guess I just don't understand. When I am with someone, I want to be with them, not them and someone else, or just someone else. For me, that's one of the big benifits of being in a relationship is knowing that someone wants me, wants to be with me and no one else. Doesn't anyone feel that way anymore? Granted, my two big relationships have been with men who never really wanted me. Chris wanted to be with everyone, and I only reminded Frank of the person he really loved. But even still, I want a partner. Someone to share this life with. Not someone that wants to share our bed. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Even so, I think I'll hold out until I meet that one person who doesn't want anyone else.

Penicillen, anyone?

Okay, I just spent the last 3 hour scrubbing the mold out of my refrigerator. *gag* It's stained, but clean, finally. And the repairman will be here in about an hour to fix 'er up. I will finally have a fridge again. It's been what, 2 months? It's gonna be so nice. And let me tell ya, if I had to eat one more cup 'o noodles or bag of pop secret, I think I might have thrown myself off the trap 'o death. DAIRY! I'll have DAIRY! again! Oh, cheese, how I've missed you. Frozen pizzas and chicken nuggets. Meat. Dear god, precious beef. I might just go food crazy for a couple days. Thankfully, the place I called takes checks, so I should be good unless they try to pass it today (cross your fingers). I've been saving, but won't have enough till midnight when I get paid. I just pray it's not the compressor, because then I'm looking at a new fridge.

Now I'm going to try to write again. I spent most of the morning cracking out a half page. I forgot how hard this can be.