Still alive

I am, really. Just REALLY busy right now. Between work and school, I haven't really had any time to myself. We're registering for classes and whatnot, and then I've got a whole bunch of insurance/loan stuff to take care of. And of course the research study's taking up a LOT of my time.

Like, right now I should be asleep because I have to be at work in 8 hours. But, as tired as I am and as much as I want to sleep, I just feel like there's so much else I should be doing. I hate that feeling.

The last few days I've been a little...off. In that space of apathy. Not sad or happy or anything. Just kind of...here. It sounds stupid and pathetic, but I really kinda wish I was dating someone right now. Not because I really want or need a someone right now, but just because I feel like I'm not open to anyone anymore. I've been making a lot of friends, but I've been getting more and more distant from my other friends, and I'm kind of in that mood of "will it ever happen fo rme?". I'm not talking about forever love, I'm talking about someone to snuggle up with at night or to go on walks with or drink coffee and cider with. Someone to hold hands with. All that kind of sappy crap. I've been a little bitter lately - I can't stand to be around couples right now. I just...can't.

It'll pass. It always does. I just keep thinking: i'm graduating soon. Like, really soon. And it kinda scares me.

I finished the next chapter of L2bL and sent it to kitty. So, sometime this week y'all should get an update.

I have more to say, but I'm wondering if maybe I just shouldn't. So I won't.

I'll update when I can.