synapticjava: (Default)
( Sep. 12th, 2004 12:22 am)
So the other day me and Jess and another girl were outside smoking and we were talking about Disney movies, and me and Jess started singing songs from all of them. Circle of Life, A Whole New World, Colors of the Wind, etc. Well, they've been stuck in my head ever since. But last night while I was trying to sleep, the Aladdin song came onto my brain radio. And it triggered some more memories. I realized that if it were not for my Grandma I wouldn't know half as many as those damned annoying songs. I remember spending every weekend with her and Grandpa when I was a kid. Every time a new movie came out she would buy it and we would watch it that night. I remember staying there on the weekends before Christmas when all of her villages and decorations were out and her Christmas tree was up. The family is so huge, the presents were stacked up in the dining room, front room and the parlor. And that Christmas smell - cinamin and cranberry. And popcorn and backing nutcakes (her equivilant of fruit cakes). And the thermostat set at about 90 and seeing the first snowfall from the parlor window. And walking the Victorion Walk in Geneseo every year no matter how cold it got, because there was always plenty of Hot Cider and warm blankets. Watching White Christmas every year in December and July. And eating supper at 4:00 in the afternoon and ice cream at night and staying up to watch the news and going to bed and getting up and going to church, back when I didn't question everything or know anything. Right now I think this is about the best memory I have. It's so vivid right now. And it feels like it was sooo long ago. And it really reminds me how much things have really changed. Now there's a big gaping cavern between the people I used to be so close with. And I know it's only because I'm not comfortable around them anymore. It's kind of saddening the way things have turned out. *but* The memories make me so happy because they show me that I did have happy times. That there was a time when things weren't so complicated. Another bag dropped.
synapticjava: (cherished)
( Sep. 12th, 2004 04:23 pm)
Okay, so I've *almost* finished my reading for this entire week. About another thirty pages in Social Psych and I'll be done! Ha! So I decided to take a break. And naturally that meant plugging up all my friend's flists with senseless posts.

So I was outside studying and a leaf fell on my book and I couldn't stop smiling at that. God I love Autumn. Chill in the air, *golden* light, jackets, bonfires, parties, sweaters, the smell of burning leaves (which, personally, I love), smores, snuggling with blankets, and good times with great friends.

And then we'll turn around and it'll be spring already. Damn. Funny, I think, the older you get the faster it goes.
synapticjava: (Default)
( Sep. 12th, 2004 04:31 pm)
I can see it letting go,
Can feel it dropping.
Tiny dry little extension
Floating away
Like so many things I’ve forgotten.
I no longer reach out
To grasp it tighter.
I will let it soar away
Into an unknown.
For the seasons are changing
And for the first time
I will be swept into it.
Changing colors
And tilting clocks.
Golden light shall shine
Through what can now be seen.
With every breath
And every stir of silent chill
I see what’s left
And I see what’s no more.
And I cannot help but smile.
synapticjava: (superman)
( Sep. 12th, 2004 08:41 pm)
Okay, so we all know I've been having...appearance issues. So I've been thinking...duh, why not do something about it? So tonight I went out and bought a spiffy new portable cd player, since my mom's car ate mine, and bought The Immaculate Collection (my people called - they were preparing to take away my homo card because I owned no Madonna). And then I headed over to the gym, er, excuse me, "fitness center" *rolls eyes* and did a pretty good workout considering I haven't been to the gym in a little over a year. Methinks I'm going to be *very* sore tomorrow. But it was really nice. You know that burning you get after a while? Love that feeling. Like you can't go on, but you just have to tell yourself one more minute, one more minute and you can do it. Ah. I'm imagining that I can already feel the changes. I figure I sweat off at least half of what I wanted overall. lol.

So now I'm going sit down and enjoy my Pepsi and smoke a cig and get back to Psych. If I finish with my reading early enough, I may even finish up part one of Whipping Boy *wink wink*. Alright. Off to work. You know, if I can move...ooo...
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