te amo, me amante...
I don't feel good. I hurt in all places. This little vacation of sorts couldn't come at a better time. Tonight I totally snapped on my entire crew. Ever have one of those moments when it just seems like everyone in the whole world is just out to drive you crazy? Doesn't help when 20 people are screaming your name and needing you for something at the same time. Doesn't help when you are feeling trapped. Doesn't help when you're feeling worse than you have for a while. Doesn't help when you just hate everything. So I snapped. One person walked out, I fired another person. And quite frankly, I think I scared a customer or four. That'll teach them to ask for ketchup when there's a perfectly fine-working clearly labled "Ketchup" pump. That'll show them that no, they are not, contrary to whosever opinion, always right. And that just because I'm a "lowly" piss-on fast food manager that they can not, in fact, piss all over me. That'll show those bastard whiney brat-children employees who runs the show.
...I appologized like four minutes later.
( cut for...whatever. )
So it's 2:30. I'm so tired I can't stand it. And what am I doing? Contemplating my inner self. That's me, I suppose. Heh. God I really need to learn how to just let life happen. I think I'll try it and see how it goes. They say good things come to those who wait. So I'll wait. I'll live and I'll wait. I'll dream. I'll write. I need to write. My entire being right now is calling out to me to put stuff down on paper - to flush it out of my system. To be creative. Writing for me is such an intimate thing. I love words and language. To create something out of nothing, it's beautiful to me. Even if no one else understands it or likes it. But that's the thing, isn't it? It's for me.
God I'm tired. Just so damn tired all the time.
...I appologized like four minutes later.
( cut for...whatever. )
So it's 2:30. I'm so tired I can't stand it. And what am I doing? Contemplating my inner self. That's me, I suppose. Heh. God I really need to learn how to just let life happen. I think I'll try it and see how it goes. They say good things come to those who wait. So I'll wait. I'll live and I'll wait. I'll dream. I'll write. I need to write. My entire being right now is calling out to me to put stuff down on paper - to flush it out of my system. To be creative. Writing for me is such an intimate thing. I love words and language. To create something out of nothing, it's beautiful to me. Even if no one else understands it or likes it. But that's the thing, isn't it? It's for me.
God I'm tired. Just so damn tired all the time.