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Um...yeah. So there. Confused? So am I. You have just witnessed an exerpt from the mind de moi. I think all the nights that I haven't slept or have slept very little over the past couple of days, okay weeks...um, months? are finally catching up to me. I think the reason I'm sick but not sick and tired and blah and everything is sleep deprivation. Hmph. Go figure. Yeah well, I can't really help it. I just have so much to do.
Tomorrow is my Art History final, and I'm kinda nervous about it, but confident that I'll do a pretty good job on it. The pieces that she's selected are pretty easy. Fauvism, Due Brucke, Blau Rieghter, Cubism and a couple from Orphism. Shouldn't be too over-the-top. And studying with Jen really helped too. Not to mention, we came up with a great never-before-thought-of interpretation of Raoult's Old King, 1916-1936 from the fauvist movement. See, look at me with the knowledge. Now let us see how long I shall retain this knowledge, shall we? Also, will not sleep tomorrow night because I have to study for my Theories of Learning and Cognition midterm, which I'm not too worried about, and come up with a thesis for my U.S. History final paper due on Thursday. Gah, Thursday night can not come fast enough. I have no classes Friday, not duty Thursday night, and I don't have to be up until it's time to go to work Friday afternoon. That's right folks, I'll get to sleep...I hope.
I'm just so exhuasted. Today I had my one-on-one with Dan, my RD. In my weekly report this week, I wrote that I'm not sure if I will return as an RA next year. Well, today Dan asked me why. After I told him, he said that I was one of the best RAs he has and it would be a shame for me not to return and that he would really like it if I would. But also that he understands if I don't. Great, no pressure. Bleck. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. All I know as of now is that I'm going home for the summer and taking two summer classes at Dirty Bird to make up the credits I've missed. I really can't wait for spring break to come so I can go home. I'm really sick sick sick to death of school and being an RA and working and being tired. I just want to not be tired anymore. Does anyone know what that's like - to not be tired? That's always my immediate answer when someone asks how I am - "Tired" I say. So now people have just stopped asking. Ugh.
Speaking of ugh, Chris is coming up to see Another Day on the 21st if he can get the days off that he requested. I found out from Andrea. Of all people. So much for "we'll always be in each other's lives" I really miss him. A lot. It's not fair. Am I a bad person or something? Why else is it that all the people I love go away? I know that's not exactly a rational thought, but I can't help feeling like that sometimes. Anything I really love someone, they leave. I just want this not-together thing to be over. I want him to kick me in his sleep and jump out of a closet and scare the crap out of him and wrinkle my nose and gag at the things he eats. I want him to tell me how warm I am (he's always cold) and how much he loves it. And for him to tell me that everything is going to be okay. No one can tell me that anymore. We've been apart almost as long as we were together now, and it still hurts a lot. And the thought of dating or being with anyone else makes me feel sick. I just want these feelings to be gone. And to be not-tired.
Tomorrow is my Art History final, and I'm kinda nervous about it, but confident that I'll do a pretty good job on it. The pieces that she's selected are pretty easy. Fauvism, Due Brucke, Blau Rieghter, Cubism and a couple from Orphism. Shouldn't be too over-the-top. And studying with Jen really helped too. Not to mention, we came up with a great never-before-thought-of interpretation of Raoult's Old King, 1916-1936 from the fauvist movement. See, look at me with the knowledge. Now let us see how long I shall retain this knowledge, shall we? Also, will not sleep tomorrow night because I have to study for my Theories of Learning and Cognition midterm, which I'm not too worried about, and come up with a thesis for my U.S. History final paper due on Thursday. Gah, Thursday night can not come fast enough. I have no classes Friday, not duty Thursday night, and I don't have to be up until it's time to go to work Friday afternoon. That's right folks, I'll get to sleep...I hope.
I'm just so exhuasted. Today I had my one-on-one with Dan, my RD. In my weekly report this week, I wrote that I'm not sure if I will return as an RA next year. Well, today Dan asked me why. After I told him, he said that I was one of the best RAs he has and it would be a shame for me not to return and that he would really like it if I would. But also that he understands if I don't. Great, no pressure. Bleck. I don't know what I'm going to do yet. All I know as of now is that I'm going home for the summer and taking two summer classes at Dirty Bird to make up the credits I've missed. I really can't wait for spring break to come so I can go home. I'm really sick sick sick to death of school and being an RA and working and being tired. I just want to not be tired anymore. Does anyone know what that's like - to not be tired? That's always my immediate answer when someone asks how I am - "Tired" I say. So now people have just stopped asking. Ugh.
Speaking of ugh, Chris is coming up to see Another Day on the 21st if he can get the days off that he requested. I found out from Andrea. Of all people. So much for "we'll always be in each other's lives" I really miss him. A lot. It's not fair. Am I a bad person or something? Why else is it that all the people I love go away? I know that's not exactly a rational thought, but I can't help feeling like that sometimes. Anything I really love someone, they leave. I just want this not-together thing to be over. I want him to kick me in his sleep and jump out of a closet and scare the crap out of him and wrinkle my nose and gag at the things he eats. I want him to tell me how warm I am (he's always cold) and how much he loves it. And for him to tell me that everything is going to be okay. No one can tell me that anymore. We've been apart almost as long as we were together now, and it still hurts a lot. And the thought of dating or being with anyone else makes me feel sick. I just want these feelings to be gone. And to be not-tired.
