Love/Hate

[synapticjava]

I love you.
Why?
How?
How can I love someone
That isn’t here,
That doesn’t remember me,
That no longer cares?
Why should I love someone
Who knows not my feelings,
Who speaks of the past
Like it shouldn’t have been.
I hate you.
I hate the things that have happened
Because of you.
I hate these feelings
That you have stirred.
I hate that I am alone again.
Why did you make me love you
Only to make me alone?
How can I let go of someone
That I barely ever held?
How can I stand tall
With no one to lean on?
I hate that I have tears
That I cannot let fall.
I hate that I have pains
In an all-too-hallow chest.
I don’t know how
To be a better person.
But I try.
And I fail.
I have to let go
But I don’t know how.
How can I let you go
Without losing these memories,
These memories I treasure
And despise too much.
Please tell me.
How do I love you?
How can I hate you?
Why should I hate
That I love you
So much more
Than I could have ever told you?