synapticjava (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synapticjava) wrote2007-01-01 06:50 pm
synapticjava) wrote2007-01-01 06:50 pm
New day, new year, new beginnings.
Welcome to 2007, folks. It's wierd to even say 2007, wierder even that 2006. For some reason, my mind is permanently stuck on 1998. I have no idea why, it just is. I'll spare the usual reflections/resoultions crap - the usual: try to quit smoking, lose some weight, etc. Although I'm determined to make the next twelve months mean something to me, make them positive. I demand o reach out and grab what I want for myself, to make this work. The only thing/person that can stop me is myself.
Christmas was...tense. My mom was an emotional wreck. I don't think I've ever seen her this...bad. At least when Dad first had the accident, she was so numb and couldn't feel anything that I knew what to do. But now, it's really difficult. I just tried to be there for her, help her as much as I could. I gotta say, though, leaving after Christmas was possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. She was crying on my shoulder - worse than she did the day I left for college. She kept asking me not to go, not to leave her. My mother...she's an incredibly strong woman. I only wish I was half as strong as she. It was really difficult for me let go of her and not call work and quit and move home and make everything okay. But I knew better. I've talked to her every day since, though, just hoping to maybe give her something to look forward to, or enjoy. I just want her to know how encredibly proud of her I am, how much I love her, and how grateful I am to have her.
Anyway, I'm back in Chicago, and things are good, for the most part. I really like my new job. They gave me an official title: Business Operations Specialist. That's kinda neat, huh? Right now I'm swamped trying to get some research for this grant done. You'd be surprised how many websites there are dedicated to Mediated Learning Experience (MLE) and the various grants and scholarships awarded to it. I'm really liking it here, and I finally feel like I'm doing something. I have appointments and meetings and confrence calls and emails. I feel all growed up:) My other job, though, Office Max has really just turned into Burger King with pencils instead of whoppers. I dread going, wait on eggshells for the day to be over, and feel like my skin is being boiled and peeled off every minute I'm actually there. With any luck, I'll only be there another month or two. Maybe even less. Of course, if I don't straighten up, it'll be way less. I'm on a final write-up because someone stole a printer on my watch. Which means if I want to keep my job, I can't do anything wrong for at least the next six months. In short: it sucks. But what else can ya do?
Anyway, I guess that's enough ramble. I'm gotta skadootch and get some more work done. There's a lot of kids out there that are counting on me to do this - they don't know it, but I do, and I kinda like it.
Christmas was...tense. My mom was an emotional wreck. I don't think I've ever seen her this...bad. At least when Dad first had the accident, she was so numb and couldn't feel anything that I knew what to do. But now, it's really difficult. I just tried to be there for her, help her as much as I could. I gotta say, though, leaving after Christmas was possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. She was crying on my shoulder - worse than she did the day I left for college. She kept asking me not to go, not to leave her. My mother...she's an incredibly strong woman. I only wish I was half as strong as she. It was really difficult for me let go of her and not call work and quit and move home and make everything okay. But I knew better. I've talked to her every day since, though, just hoping to maybe give her something to look forward to, or enjoy. I just want her to know how encredibly proud of her I am, how much I love her, and how grateful I am to have her.
Anyway, I'm back in Chicago, and things are good, for the most part. I really like my new job. They gave me an official title: Business Operations Specialist. That's kinda neat, huh? Right now I'm swamped trying to get some research for this grant done. You'd be surprised how many websites there are dedicated to Mediated Learning Experience (MLE) and the various grants and scholarships awarded to it. I'm really liking it here, and I finally feel like I'm doing something. I have appointments and meetings and confrence calls and emails. I feel all growed up:) My other job, though, Office Max has really just turned into Burger King with pencils instead of whoppers. I dread going, wait on eggshells for the day to be over, and feel like my skin is being boiled and peeled off every minute I'm actually there. With any luck, I'll only be there another month or two. Maybe even less. Of course, if I don't straighten up, it'll be way less. I'm on a final write-up because someone stole a printer on my watch. Which means if I want to keep my job, I can't do anything wrong for at least the next six months. In short: it sucks. But what else can ya do?
Anyway, I guess that's enough ramble. I'm gotta skadootch and get some more work done. There's a lot of kids out there that are counting on me to do this - they don't know it, but I do, and I kinda like it.
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