synapticjava (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synapticjava) wrote2006-08-07 09:24 pm
synapticjava) wrote2006-08-07 09:24 pm
Safe in my arms...
It's no secret - when I fall, I fall hard and I fall fast. It usually bites me in the ass in the end because I always get hurt. So I kinda learned to turn it off and tune it out, for the most part. I still get excited when there's a potential...person in the midst. But I always know in the back of my mind that it probably won't work. (Which so isn't healthy). Plus, I'm young, and I know better ;)
But...
Yesterday while I was walking around Market Days, I was feeling pretty dumpy. Just a general down kind of day. All of these people walking around, and even seeing a whole bunch of friends out, I was still feeling really alone and crappy. I still get like that sometimes, but usually I'm able to push it away and put on a happy face. Yesterday I wasn't really able to, though; couldn't shake it.
Anyway, I've been wanting to get a psychic reading for a while. Yes, I do believe in psychic power, yes I do believe in Tarot readings and other mystic things. I don't necessarily believe that anyone claiming to be a psychic can actually read you or whatever, so I always take it with a grain of salt.
So I'm walking along, and poof, there's a psychic booth set up (it's like a carnival, so you pretty much expected it at some point). I paid the fee, and had my Tarot read by Shar. I'm sure a lot of the things she said she says to most of her clients (that's the skeptic in me), so again, grain of salt. But she nailed me. Like, totally nailed me. She read what was happening at the bar, with Arben and Fernando and everyone. She read my feelings about everything; knew my trepidation about relationships and friendships. She said "you're thinking about moving, are starting to search for a new apartment. But it's difficult because you're also looking for a job in the field of healthcare/helping, probably something related to psychology." Most of it was generic, but a lot of it was also really specific. Then she brought up relationships. She told me about Chris, the never-ending cache of guys that've turned up and turned away in the last few years that never really meant anything. Then she told me that my next serious relationship is going to be sooner than I expect, but only when I stop looking for it; the circumstances are going be completely coincidence. And that this man was going to make me very happy.
Also that my health isn't doing so well, and I need to make some changes in other parts of my life. And that my job-search will turn up something well-suited to me. So as far as she was concerned, a very happy ending. Like I said, grain of salt; we'll see. But there's no reason she can't be right.
Cue Sam: the 24 year old Christian-Judaism convert with a BA in Education who is a native of Davenport and Iowa City, Iowa; now relocated to a suburb of Chicago and looking for an apartment in my future neighborhood. He came into the bar last night with a girl that I thought looked familiar. After talking for awhile, we found out that we're all from the QC's, more or less. (Sidebar, in even smaller-world news, it turns out that Sam dated Matt for a short time a few years ago.) It seems this girl was a friend of a really good friend of mine from QCAD in my high school years. This is when me and Sam started talking.
I'm really glad we weren't busy last night because me and Sam got to talk pretty much the whole night. He told me about what it was like for him to convert from Lutheran Christianity to Judaism. We talked a lot about people back home that we both knew. He volunteers for Americorps, teaching underprivilaged kids english and math skills. He wants to go back and get his Masters in Education and teach in inner-city schools where he can "do the most good." I told him about graduation, my degree, my life here vs. the QCs. We just had the most amazing conversation, like everything clicked. Before I knew what was happening, I was off work and we were cabbing it back to the place he was housesitting in Andersonville. We'd made the mutual decision we were just going to cuddle and sleep, no sex. It was extremely difficult, on both sides, but we woke up this morning together sex-free and happy as larks. We grabbed some coffee and jumped the train towards downtown. I got off at Belmont and he continued on to Union Station and Midway.
He's in Boston for the week, until Saturday, volunteering for Americorps. He's already called me once and texted me twice. And I've had this big stupid grin on my face all day, even though I'm exhausted from not getting much sleep. It's so rediculous and silly, but I'm really excited. And what's wierd, is I don't feel like I'm supposed to back off and "be careful." I don't want to. I want to persue it and see where it goes. There's been more than a few potentials in the last year, but none that I missed after 24 hours. It could be because I know it's not one-sided this time. He told me he can't wait to get back so we can start dating, get to know me better. And I know it's mutual on my side:)
So there's that. It's been a crazy couple of days, and my head is kind of spinning. I think I might sit down and write for a little while, or try to. Maybe do some laundry. I really want to call Sam, but I think twice in one day is enough. Ugh, and it's only Monday.
But...
Yesterday while I was walking around Market Days, I was feeling pretty dumpy. Just a general down kind of day. All of these people walking around, and even seeing a whole bunch of friends out, I was still feeling really alone and crappy. I still get like that sometimes, but usually I'm able to push it away and put on a happy face. Yesterday I wasn't really able to, though; couldn't shake it.
Anyway, I've been wanting to get a psychic reading for a while. Yes, I do believe in psychic power, yes I do believe in Tarot readings and other mystic things. I don't necessarily believe that anyone claiming to be a psychic can actually read you or whatever, so I always take it with a grain of salt.
So I'm walking along, and poof, there's a psychic booth set up (it's like a carnival, so you pretty much expected it at some point). I paid the fee, and had my Tarot read by Shar. I'm sure a lot of the things she said she says to most of her clients (that's the skeptic in me), so again, grain of salt. But she nailed me. Like, totally nailed me. She read what was happening at the bar, with Arben and Fernando and everyone. She read my feelings about everything; knew my trepidation about relationships and friendships. She said "you're thinking about moving, are starting to search for a new apartment. But it's difficult because you're also looking for a job in the field of healthcare/helping, probably something related to psychology." Most of it was generic, but a lot of it was also really specific. Then she brought up relationships. She told me about Chris, the never-ending cache of guys that've turned up and turned away in the last few years that never really meant anything. Then she told me that my next serious relationship is going to be sooner than I expect, but only when I stop looking for it; the circumstances are going be completely coincidence. And that this man was going to make me very happy.
Also that my health isn't doing so well, and I need to make some changes in other parts of my life. And that my job-search will turn up something well-suited to me. So as far as she was concerned, a very happy ending. Like I said, grain of salt; we'll see. But there's no reason she can't be right.
Cue Sam: the 24 year old Christian-Judaism convert with a BA in Education who is a native of Davenport and Iowa City, Iowa; now relocated to a suburb of Chicago and looking for an apartment in my future neighborhood. He came into the bar last night with a girl that I thought looked familiar. After talking for awhile, we found out that we're all from the QC's, more or less. (Sidebar, in even smaller-world news, it turns out that Sam dated Matt for a short time a few years ago.) It seems this girl was a friend of a really good friend of mine from QCAD in my high school years. This is when me and Sam started talking.
I'm really glad we weren't busy last night because me and Sam got to talk pretty much the whole night. He told me about what it was like for him to convert from Lutheran Christianity to Judaism. We talked a lot about people back home that we both knew. He volunteers for Americorps, teaching underprivilaged kids english and math skills. He wants to go back and get his Masters in Education and teach in inner-city schools where he can "do the most good." I told him about graduation, my degree, my life here vs. the QCs. We just had the most amazing conversation, like everything clicked. Before I knew what was happening, I was off work and we were cabbing it back to the place he was housesitting in Andersonville. We'd made the mutual decision we were just going to cuddle and sleep, no sex. It was extremely difficult, on both sides, but we woke up this morning together sex-free and happy as larks. We grabbed some coffee and jumped the train towards downtown. I got off at Belmont and he continued on to Union Station and Midway.
He's in Boston for the week, until Saturday, volunteering for Americorps. He's already called me once and texted me twice. And I've had this big stupid grin on my face all day, even though I'm exhausted from not getting much sleep. It's so rediculous and silly, but I'm really excited. And what's wierd, is I don't feel like I'm supposed to back off and "be careful." I don't want to. I want to persue it and see where it goes. There's been more than a few potentials in the last year, but none that I missed after 24 hours. It could be because I know it's not one-sided this time. He told me he can't wait to get back so we can start dating, get to know me better. And I know it's mutual on my side:)
So there's that. It's been a crazy couple of days, and my head is kind of spinning. I think I might sit down and write for a little while, or try to. Maybe do some laundry. I really want to call Sam, but I think twice in one day is enough. Ugh, and it's only Monday.
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So happy to see you happy and positive yay!
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and awwww.
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