synapticjava (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
synapticjava) wrote2005-12-28 04:48 pm
synapticjava) wrote2005-12-28 04:48 pm
Entry tags:
Learn to be Lonely, Chapter 16
Title: Learn to be Lonely Chapter 16/ ?
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chocgood84
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,kittypoker1.
Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
Xander’s hand found its place over the small of Spike’s back as they turned slowly to the music, shuffling over the dance floor that had become so familiar. The lights over the crowd were burning cobalt, silhouetting Spike’s face but making his eyes glow bright in the shadows, making his smile shine white.
…“What started out as friendship has grown stronger…”
Xander felt his cheeks stretch and his lips part as he mirrored Spike’s smile. Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead on Spike’s, he gave in to the music – always the music.
…“ I tell myself that I can't hold out forever. I said there is no reason for my fear. Cause I feel so secure when we're together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear…”
As always, it felt like they were the only ones on the floor, in the club, in the world. When Spike held him, Xander knew only him. When their arms were locked around each other, when their lips touched each other’s, he knew freedom. With him, he forgot how to be lonely.
…“Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door, baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore…”*
Xander opened his eyes and met Spike’s gaze. Blue eyes smiled at him and laughter welled up inside Xander. For a moment, he thought he might actually burst. It was the same feeling he got every time Spike looked at him, now. And each time, just when he thought it couldn’t get better, couldn’t get any stronger, it always did.
The final chords of the song faded away like the changing tide, and soon the speakers started to thump as the DJ switched to a faster, poppier song. Xander led Spike off the floor by the hand, leading them towards the bar where Tuna was shaking a martini for Donny, the regular at the end of the bar. Xander smiled at him and waved, the pint-size munchkin demon returning the gesture.
“So, boys,” Tuna leaned towards them, having delivered the drink, “do anything fun last night?”
“Nah, not really,” Xander shrugged, taking a sip of his vodka tonic. “Stayed home and watched a bunch of movies.”
“Huh,” Spike snorted, gulping his shot of Jack down. “If you call those movies.”
“La la la,” Xander sing-songed, spinning in his stool so that his back faced Spike. “I am so not hearing you right now.”
“What’s that about?” Tuna asked, smiling as a barback sauntered by in denim cut-offs and a white t-shirt.
“Oh, he doesn’t like it when I tell him how bloody awful his ‘movies’ are,” Spike explained, rolling his eyes towards Xander’s turned back.
“La la la…” Xander continued, plugging his ears with his fingers.
“Which movies?” Tuna asked with laughter.
“Nightmare on 13th street or something-”
“It’s Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th,” Xander insisted, spinning back to face them.
“Thought you couldn’t hear me?” Spike smirked.
“Yeah, well…” Xander tried. “Shut up. And anyway, they’re perfectly good movies.”
“Uh huh, right. And Michael Meyers is the scariest thing on two legs?” Spike sneered.
“He is! The guy just won’t die!”
“So bloody what –”
“Okay, before this marital dispute turns into a catfight, this little Tuna is going to get the hell out of the fishbowl.” Tuna backed away slowly, arms raised, and turned to help another customer.
“I’m just saying that you’ve been around and seen way worse stuff,” Xander explained. “And, okay, I’ve seen bad too, but still!”
“Just don’t ever make me watch Pumpkinhead again, okay?” Spike scowled. “Please.”
“Fair enough.” Xander batted his eyelashes and laid a kiss on Spike’s lips.
“Dance?” Spike asked, holding out his hand.
“Well, of course-” but Xander was interrupted by a vibrating pocket. After digging around for a minute, he pulled out his cellphone and answered it. “Hello?” he yelled over the sound system.
“Xander?” Willow asked.
“Yeah, it’s me.” He sighed, rolled his eyes, and sat back down at the bar. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to see if you wanted to go out with us tonight. So I can beat you for not coming to the party last night.” Xander could feel her glare through the phone.
“Sorry ‘bout that, Wills. Couldn’t be helped. There was an emergency meeting at work, and I couldn’t get out of it. Some permits-” Xander grinned, noticing that Spike was making leering gestures at him.
“Yeah, whatever.” She was mad. “Do you want to go out or not, though?”
“No can do.” Xander reached out and punched Spike on the arm to get him to stop making the stroking movements he was finessing. “We – er, I’m already out.”
“Oh, well, stay there,” she insisted. “We’ll be there in less than an hour.”
“Wha-”
“See you soon!” Click.
Spike raised an inquisitive eye at Xander, who started laughing hysterically and was now turning red.
“What’s funny, pet?”
“That was Willow. She thinks we’re – or more correctly, I’m – at the Bronze.” Xander stood up and started making his way to the dance floor, tugging Spike behind him by the hand.
“Want to go meet them, then?” Spike asked, wrapping his arms around Xander’s waist.
“Why would I want to do that when I’ve got you, here?” he replied, leaning in for another so-so-sweet kiss as the club exploded with sparkling confetti and the Technicolored strobe lights kicked on.
***
They left the club about an hour later, arm in arm. Xander’s cell rang only once, but halfway through the second ring he turned it off and put it back in his pocket.
***
Xander was surfing on a white crystal wave, swerving and bobbing down the biggest crest he’d ever seen. Not surfing, he realized, snowboarding. I’m snowboarding down a mountain!
Rivers of white and seas of green rushed by him as he soared down the steep decline. Snow and ice pelted his face, stinging pleasantly as the wind burned his skin. He was sliding so fast he couldn’t see in front of him; only splotches of white and grey where stones poked out through the deep layer of snow. The white beneath him and blue above him - The sky is so blue! - were all he could see, all he was aware of. The slope seemed eternal, as if there was no valley below him. For the rest of his life, he could just shoot downward, leaning from left to right and lurching his body back and forth.
Suddenly he saw a black speck in the distance, which grew bigger and bigger, growing faster and faster until he came upon it: a giant grandfather clock. He couldn’t swerve to avoid it, and as he rushed unavoidably towards it he was aware that he was about to be in tremendous pain. And also that the clock was striking the hour of three.
And then there was blackness.
Songs and Lyrics for this chapter are:
*REO Speedwagon – Can’t Fight This Feeling
Author:
chocgood84Rating: NC-17
Pairing: BtVS Spike/Xander
Disclaimer: Characters in this fic, aside from original characters, are property of ME and Joss Whedon. I’m just playing; I get no reward. Don’t sue, I’m poor.
Warning: Just the standard: Slashfic, with some brief episodes of het sex. Some graphic scenes of violence, sexual situations, and other assorted adult situations.
Author’s Note: This is my latest WIP, and it’s coinciding with my last year of college. I may or may not get to update very frequently – but I have no plans of discontinuing or abandoning it, so if you’re patient – there will be more. Also, this is somewhat AU in the sense that Dawn doesn’t exist, and Adam was never created so the initiative is still around for the time being. Also, a big thank you to the official L2bL beta,
kittypoker1.Previous parts can be found at my website, or in my Livejournal Memories.
Xander’s hand found its place over the small of Spike’s back as they turned slowly to the music, shuffling over the dance floor that had become so familiar. The lights over the crowd were burning cobalt, silhouetting Spike’s face but making his eyes glow bright in the shadows, making his smile shine white.
…“What started out as friendship has grown stronger…”
Xander felt his cheeks stretch and his lips part as he mirrored Spike’s smile. Closing his eyes and leaning his forehead on Spike’s, he gave in to the music – always the music.
…“ I tell myself that I can't hold out forever. I said there is no reason for my fear. Cause I feel so secure when we're together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear…”
As always, it felt like they were the only ones on the floor, in the club, in the world. When Spike held him, Xander knew only him. When their arms were locked around each other, when their lips touched each other’s, he knew freedom. With him, he forgot how to be lonely.
…“Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for. And if I have to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door, baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore…”*
Xander opened his eyes and met Spike’s gaze. Blue eyes smiled at him and laughter welled up inside Xander. For a moment, he thought he might actually burst. It was the same feeling he got every time Spike looked at him, now. And each time, just when he thought it couldn’t get better, couldn’t get any stronger, it always did.
The final chords of the song faded away like the changing tide, and soon the speakers started to thump as the DJ switched to a faster, poppier song. Xander led Spike off the floor by the hand, leading them towards the bar where Tuna was shaking a martini for Donny, the regular at the end of the bar. Xander smiled at him and waved, the pint-size munchkin demon returning the gesture.
“So, boys,” Tuna leaned towards them, having delivered the drink, “do anything fun last night?”
“Nah, not really,” Xander shrugged, taking a sip of his vodka tonic. “Stayed home and watched a bunch of movies.”
“Huh,” Spike snorted, gulping his shot of Jack down. “If you call those movies.”
“La la la,” Xander sing-songed, spinning in his stool so that his back faced Spike. “I am so not hearing you right now.”
“What’s that about?” Tuna asked, smiling as a barback sauntered by in denim cut-offs and a white t-shirt.
“Oh, he doesn’t like it when I tell him how bloody awful his ‘movies’ are,” Spike explained, rolling his eyes towards Xander’s turned back.
“La la la…” Xander continued, plugging his ears with his fingers.
“Which movies?” Tuna asked with laughter.
“Nightmare on 13th street or something-”
“It’s Nightmare on Elm Street, and Friday the 13th,” Xander insisted, spinning back to face them.
“Thought you couldn’t hear me?” Spike smirked.
“Yeah, well…” Xander tried. “Shut up. And anyway, they’re perfectly good movies.”
“Uh huh, right. And Michael Meyers is the scariest thing on two legs?” Spike sneered.
“He is! The guy just won’t die!”
“So bloody what –”
“Okay, before this marital dispute turns into a catfight, this little Tuna is going to get the hell out of the fishbowl.” Tuna backed away slowly, arms raised, and turned to help another customer.
“I’m just saying that you’ve been around and seen way worse stuff,” Xander explained. “And, okay, I’ve seen bad too, but still!”
“Just don’t ever make me watch Pumpkinhead again, okay?” Spike scowled. “Please.”
“Fair enough.” Xander batted his eyelashes and laid a kiss on Spike’s lips.
“Dance?” Spike asked, holding out his hand.
“Well, of course-” but Xander was interrupted by a vibrating pocket. After digging around for a minute, he pulled out his cellphone and answered it. “Hello?” he yelled over the sound system.
“Xander?” Willow asked.
“Yeah, it’s me.” He sighed, rolled his eyes, and sat back down at the bar. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to see if you wanted to go out with us tonight. So I can beat you for not coming to the party last night.” Xander could feel her glare through the phone.
“Sorry ‘bout that, Wills. Couldn’t be helped. There was an emergency meeting at work, and I couldn’t get out of it. Some permits-” Xander grinned, noticing that Spike was making leering gestures at him.
“Yeah, whatever.” She was mad. “Do you want to go out or not, though?”
“No can do.” Xander reached out and punched Spike on the arm to get him to stop making the stroking movements he was finessing. “We – er, I’m already out.”
“Oh, well, stay there,” she insisted. “We’ll be there in less than an hour.”
“Wha-”
“See you soon!” Click.
Spike raised an inquisitive eye at Xander, who started laughing hysterically and was now turning red.
“What’s funny, pet?”
“That was Willow. She thinks we’re – or more correctly, I’m – at the Bronze.” Xander stood up and started making his way to the dance floor, tugging Spike behind him by the hand.
“Want to go meet them, then?” Spike asked, wrapping his arms around Xander’s waist.
“Why would I want to do that when I’ve got you, here?” he replied, leaning in for another so-so-sweet kiss as the club exploded with sparkling confetti and the Technicolored strobe lights kicked on.
***
They left the club about an hour later, arm in arm. Xander’s cell rang only once, but halfway through the second ring he turned it off and put it back in his pocket.
***
Xander was surfing on a white crystal wave, swerving and bobbing down the biggest crest he’d ever seen. Not surfing, he realized, snowboarding. I’m snowboarding down a mountain!
Rivers of white and seas of green rushed by him as he soared down the steep decline. Snow and ice pelted his face, stinging pleasantly as the wind burned his skin. He was sliding so fast he couldn’t see in front of him; only splotches of white and grey where stones poked out through the deep layer of snow. The white beneath him and blue above him - The sky is so blue! - were all he could see, all he was aware of. The slope seemed eternal, as if there was no valley below him. For the rest of his life, he could just shoot downward, leaning from left to right and lurching his body back and forth.
Suddenly he saw a black speck in the distance, which grew bigger and bigger, growing faster and faster until he came upon it: a giant grandfather clock. He couldn’t swerve to avoid it, and as he rushed unavoidably towards it he was aware that he was about to be in tremendous pain. And also that the clock was striking the hour of three.
And then there was blackness.
Songs and Lyrics for this chapter are:
*REO Speedwagon – Can’t Fight This Feeling
Re: Learn to be Lonely
*frantically writes the next chapter*