They wanted me to be the dream

[synapticjava]

Or why I should just stop trying.

Last night was the Gentry party - the party I've been looking forward to for weeks.

I was going to post a long and involved entry about why I'm upset, but I'm going to sum it up really easily: I don't like it when people pretend to be my friends. And I especially don't like when I'm treated the way I was last night, and furthermore if that's how my friends are going to be...maybe I need some new ones.


On the other side of the coin, I got to talk to Kierre last night, and I realized just how *much* I miss having someone to talk to like that. No holds barred, no judgement, just caring and support and someone who generally cares about what's going on in my life. I really wish she'd move to the city.

And now I have to return to schoolwork and RL. RL bites.

Comments

Re: Burning Bridges

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, now that I've read it:

1) I'm glad you think you know me. It's almost cute - except for the fact that you don't.

2) You're right - this is an open forum. But the thing is? Whether you think it's for attention or not, which I really don't care a whole lot about what you think, it's not. This is my journal. Me and her have talked about it before, so if you're trying to get me all ruffled up, I don't care. I don't force anyone to read or not to read my stuff, but at the same time? No one has the right to tell me how to think or feel or not to - not even you.

3) You know what? Maybe I'm not a martyr. But neither is any of you. I did sit at the bar by myself - because that's where I always sit, and because I didn't particularily want to be around you, Ray and Vive together. I didn't force her to get up and come talk to me, but the next day she made me feel guilty for "having to do it". That's a problem. I wouldn't have cared at all had she just sat with you all night. But again, that's her, not you.

4) As for my internet friends - who cares if its real or not. I really don't have to worry about it, because I know they can't cause the drama or spread the bullshit that my reallife friends do. So whatever you think of me is kind of moot. So, I'm done.

Re: Burning Bridges

[yourmomcalled.livejournal.com]

i just wrote out this whole long reply, but then i deleted it because you are right. I am done, and so are you. one day, you'll grow up and start to talk to people instead of your pc. For your sake, I hope that happens soon. Super fun seeing you on Monday!

Re: Burning Bridges

[catching-tigers.livejournal.com]

have you never written in a journal when you were unhappy about something? even a paper journal? because, you know, it often helps to sort out ones feelings and maybe get a little bit of feedback. sometimes, even that doesnt help so much because you realise 'wow. this situation is bloody ridiculous and far beyond help, so why even bother saying anything and starting drama.' honestly, if you dont like what you read, you DONT have to read it. thats one of the wonderful things about the internet. you have easy access to peoples thoughts and you can just as easily choose not to examine them. maybe things could have or should have been handled differently, but they werent. there was nothing dramatic about this post and certainly it was 'highly dramatized' as it was simply a brief summary oh how he was feeling at the moment. and if youre going to mention him writing about it in his livejournal as a negative point to how he handled it, it seems awfully silly to comment here and not just mention it to him the next time you see him. or maybe even take the time to call him up and try to get him to talk about it and see what exactly it was that was bugging him. i mean, i highly doubt you were holding his hand all night and know exactly what happened and what did not.

im quite aware that this isnt my business, and im quite aware that this is probably not appreciated, but oh well. this comment has managed to irritate me in a huge way and i know if something like this was left in MY journal, heads would roll. but thats just me and im not the nicest person ever.