synapticjava | Ow, and, ouch.

I really need an "in pain" icon or something, I think. Don't suppose someone out there would like to make me one, perhaps for my birfday? *puppy eyes*

Anyway, tonight was another round of cook-outs and soft-ball. I'll never learn, I tell ya *shakes head*. Last week must have been a fluke, because tonight I couldn't hit the ball if it was tied to the bat. I think it's because Dr. Anderson was there and I was trying to show off.

So anyway, yeah - pain. But not as much as last week cuz I was smart enough to stretch just a bit before I started running around like a loon. BTW - I am cute and funny:)

Couple of odd things happened, though. Sue said she thought my hearing was getting worse, and everyone agreed. That scares me, almost makes me want to cry. I hate being hearing impaired. Hateithateithateit. So it looks like I'm going to need to make an appointment at home with my ear doctor, who will yell at me for not wearing my hearing aids, and then test me, and tell me I really need to wear them now. I hate looking like a freak - like I don't have enough self-conciousness problems as it is? Seriously, I wear reading glasses, I'm overweight, got a frainkenstein scar on my head, I'm a little too "girly" for most people to handle, AND I'm almost completely deaf? That's sooo not fair. So that's my whiney part of the post - it's obligatory, you know.

The other wierd thing: Lauren was like "you know, Brad, the more and more time I spend with you, the more I realize that you're actually a pretty cool guy." Talk about a back-handed compliment. But then Sue was like "I completely agree - you've changed so much, like night and day." Have I really changed that much?

So that's the news. Oh, and I have three appointments on Friday to get an apartment. I'm hoping to sign a lease or at least get the paperwork started by 5pm Friday.

And now, to go and take some tylenol and watch TV, probably some Buffy. I've got a hankering for S5 for some reason.

Oh oh oh: New discussion is up at

club_joss. Go and take a gander.

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It sounds like people just need to get to know you to realize what you really are (cool). I'd run with the compliments and try not to worry about the things that make you self-consious (those same things also make you unique you know).

Good luck with the apartment hunt!

Not to not be supportive, but get over it and wear a hearing aid.

Hearing aids often clue me in to make sure I face someone (or wait for them to face me) when I talk to them. And extend my frustration with repeting myself. They've never struck me as making someone look freakish. Nor have reading glasses.

And you're nearly 21? Of course you've changed that much. And it continues. :-) Enjoy it.

this reminds me of a conversation i've had with my mom several times. no one will notice the hearing aids as much as you will be conscious of them. rather, everyone will notice how much better you're hearing, which is a Good Thing. And maybe you'll be less self conscious about the hearing aids than you are about not being able to hear. also, you don't look like a freak, and hearing aids will not make you look like one.

It sounds like people just need to get to know you to realize what you really are (cool).

Hee, thanks, luv!

Good luck with the apartment hunt!

Thank you very very much - I need all the luck I can get:)

Hearing aids often clue me in to make sure I face someone (or wait for them to face me) when I talk to them. And extend my frustration with repeting myself. They've never struck me as making someone look freakish. Nor have reading glasses.

Oh no, I actually like wearing glasses - I think they're cute:) But as for the other thing - that's my point. I *hate* "special treatment". I hate feeling like I'm being singled out or something, you know? Does that even make sense? *shrugs*

And you're nearly 21? Of course you've changed that much. And it continues. :-) Enjoy it.

It's wierd, though. I mean, I know I've changed a lot since freshman year, but I didn't think it was *that* much, or, enough that other people notice.

Thanks; really. It's just my achile's heel. Believe it or not, I *hate* standing out, and whether or not I actually do, because of them - I feel like I do, which makes me all self-concious and stuff, which is a feeling I don't like and struggle with anyway. I just don't like feeling...different? That's not really the right way of expressing it, but its something along those lines.

I would think people having to repete themselves, or realize that you're not ignoring them, and things like that would be more special treatment than giving yourself the chance to hear, and them the chance to realize why you didn't answer.

1. You're hearing-impaired?!

2. You have a Frankenstein scar on your head? I never noticed.

3. You're hot. Don't sweat it.

1. I am, have been since birth. So that's why I'm all the time going "huh?" and looking puzzled.

2. I'm way overexagerating it because it's the first thing I see when I look in the mirror - the scar I got from the Burger King Window incident.

3. Hee!

1. Wow, I never noticed.

2. Wow, I never noticed--but I totally buy that; drive-through windows--and fast-food workplaces in general--are death traps.

3. You know it's true.

2. Yes, yes they are. Stupid glass windows.

Ow, and, ouch.

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sorry for the rant

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Re: sorry for the rant

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